how the heck do you get your LO to school on time.....

[babymutha]

dd will enter reception on Sept 12th. We were late for pre-school virtually every day, whether I got up at 6, 7 or 8am. DD v strong willed, won't dress herself unless she feels like it, won't let me brush her hair, takes 30-45 mins to eat a bowl of cornflakes, sits of toilet without weeing or pooing for AGES and then walks at the speed she feels like (although I have managed to enlist tree fu tom big world magic and a scooter to speed her along, so that is the least stressful bit of our journey). I don't want to spend every day YELLING at my child. Please give me your wisdom......

Mine wouldn't dress herself and eats at snail pace.

Our routine is this:

We get up around 8am
She washes face and hands and gets dressed (with help/prompting from me usually but sometimes she does it on her own)
She has breakfast while I shower - 8.05am to 8.30am
Shoes on - if she's in a daydream I just put them on her feet
Teeth brushing - I go upstairs with her 8.30am to 8.35am
Out the door 8.40am

Whatever she's eaten in the 25 minutes is what she gets. Some days it's lots, some days it's not so much.

I can't be doing with getting dressed last because she's gone downstairs by then and is playing - so it leads to me saying 400 times "can you get dressed". Easier to just throw clothes on before being allowed downstairs.

I only have the one though. Can imagine if you have more they'd need to be a lot more self sufficient.

I don't worry about helping her get dressed - she manages fine at school and it's not as if she won't be able to put her vest on at age 10.

Agree with everything Ajobforlife said. Why would anyone let them be dictated to by a 4 yr old. I say that as a mother of a "spirited" boy, I have once or twice slung him over my back to get into nursery on time. Now he's in YR1 I would threaten jammys and carrying him like a baby to school. No wonder theres so many brats around if their own parents won't tell them what to do!

Not an advert here but Belvita breakfast biscuits were and still are my life saver in the morning. DD eats at a snails pace and does a good impression of a sloth in the morning. These biscuits feel like a treat for her, are portable and can be eaten as I assist her with the dressing process.

Other child hates them but likes chocolate chip brioche in the morning so gets them.

Hi everyone I am a newbi so go easy on me . My dd was diagnosed with Ty 1 diabetes just as she started school. We have a hectic routine in the morn. But routine, bribes and lastly threats have meant we have never been late. We have the usual stuff but mixed in are blood sugars insulin and carb counting (how exciting). Routine: every thing is done at a certain time, in certain order. Get uniform bags lunches and even breakfast ready night before. If they choose to go to school in pjs, they dont do it again.Use the clock 10 mins to this ect. You are the parent !

The two things that work for me:

• a schedule pinned on the kitchen board with clock faces (it is directly under the kitchen clock) and what DS is supposed to do at what time (eat breakfast, put uniform on, wash teeth, etc.). He is 6 so he can read them now, but you can use visuals/pictures for younger kids
• sometimes I will take one of the kids from his class to school as well (we're all in the same neighbourhood). DS will speed up if I say we have to be at his friend's house by a certain time so we can all walk to school together

Really don't understand how people are late for things but maybe that's because I am super organised.

Before you all shout - I do have two boys aged 5 and 9 years. The 9 year old has SN as well. On a work day we LEAVE THE HOUSE at 7.15am - washed, dressed, fed and with packed lunches.

I basically adopt the "hard mum" approach as being late for my work is not an option and the boys have to learn themselves about time keeping and who better to teach it then their own parent.

I have had long running battles with this issue. Always seemed to be running late getting dd to pre-school, but now with dd in school, ds to get to pre-school, dd2 is almost 2, and am 9 months pregnant... we just have to stick to the routine. I'm up before them all at 5.40am, at 6.30am the eldest two start getting themselves washed and dressed, 7am at breakfast table, eldest two filter off to brush teeth and go to toilet, I change nappy and mop up, then 8am out into the car or buggy. There's always some issue - this morning dd didn't want to wear her coat, and couldn't carry it because her bag was stuffed full of PE kit... I find the more decisions that are made the night before (e.g. ds will choose his socks and pants to avoid morning tantrums) the better. No choice over breakfast cereals in the morning (they can choose at weekends), bags all ready packed, letter reply slips filled in etc. I aim to be 20 minutes or so early so I have time in my pocket for the inevitable, and because I'm so much slower being so pregnant. There is always a feeling of chaos despite the planning, but I remember the days when I just had one and used to sob on my way back from pre-school drop off, feeling I'd utterly failed as we'd been shouting and it had been so stressful, so totally understand where you are coming from! It will get easier. It will.

I set an alarm for DS and if he is dressed with his teeth brushed, shoes and backpack on before it rings, he can watch a video on youtube before we go. (Usually something like a Tom and Jerry, which are about six minutes long.) He doesn't eat much in the morning either, but they have a snack early so it doesn't matter much. I try to get something like a granola bar and a bit of cheese or something in him, which I let him eat while he's watching.

I also batch-bake (muffins with fruit and oats, etc) and freeze them so he gets a "choice" of something quick to eat in the morning...he seems more likely to eat quickly then.

My Y3 son is a nightmare in the morning, despite me asking him to clean his teeth in the morning repeatedly, and then asking him if he had done it. One day last week I found out on the way to school he hadn't, he had just rinsed his mouth with mouthwash.

I stopped at the Co Op around the corner from the school, bought a cheap toothbrush, toothpaste and a bottle of water and made him clean his teeth in the street while all his school friends walked past.

I haven't had any problems since about this (but don't get me started on getting dressed)

The other thing is to overestimate by at least 10 minutes how long it takes to get there and then when things go wrong you have more spaceand aim for the earliest drop off time rather than the latest e.g if they can be left at 8.40 but need to be there for 9 then you are aiming for 8.40. Also, I factor in 15 minutes for my 3 (6,4 and 2) from when I say shoes on! to leaving the house and 20 minutes if we're taking bikes (helmets etc) because it is invariably then that one fills his nappy, needs the toilet, suddenly remembers something.

Our routine is:
5.45am I get up and make packed lunches, generally sort things out before going for a quick swim
7.05 I'm back and Dh goes to work. Get children dressed in already laid out clothes
7.20 Eating breakfast
7.35 Finish breakfast, clear away
7.40 Children get ready to leave, I sweep and mop kitchen
8.00 We go

I then have 40 minutes to do a 15 minute journey but that means the 2 year old can walk, we can stop and look at a snail etc. They often have a story on the way as well. If we hang around at home any longer they get involved in a game or something and are harder to make leave.

no TV in the morning full stop.

We all have breakfast together, it's all laid out ready. They know they have to be finished and going to clean their teeth by 8am.

Both my DDs are "strong willed". But then so am I - and I'm 30 years their senior so I win

Agree though, if you can't bend them to your will when they're 4, what's it going to be like when they're 14? The Grip must be Got...

Bosgrove: love it

Hope its still working op - if not I'd be going for the physically dressing her yourself if you have to and getting her to school on time. I'd regard being on time for school as non negotiable so if you have to lift her out the door etc then thats what you do ... but I'm a hardliner... Then again hopefully by now she's enjoying school m looking fwd to playing wiht friends in yard before school starts etc! Good luck

Glad you are finding tactics that work for you, OP.

Same here as lots of other posters: Being Late Is Not An Option. Routine, find eg both shoes the night before, no TV, keen eye on the time, aim to leave 10 mins before the real leaving time...

Say she is going to school in whatever she is wearing when it is time to leave. DS was awful at getting ready for school and his teacher was happy to have him there in his pjs. We got as far as the porch with him in his birthday suit and he ran and got into his uniform and never did it again - thank goodness he did as I've never have opened the front door with him in that state!

Try making it fun: have a race who can get dressed first.

Or, if she has packed lunch put in sandwich, fruit and drink but say she can pick a treat to go in too if she finishes her breakfast before 8.00am.

Use a timer, maybe? Works on my DC.

A good trick I have is to steer them to look forward to stuff on the way. Stuff like: quick, if we leave now we'll have time to stroke that cat round the corner etc.

Agree, if it gets bad, use consequences. DS2 used to dawdle getting dressed so one morning I threatened to leave without him as it wasn't fair on his brother to get a late mark. DH was home, so we went off. DH waited until DS2 was dressed, walked him to school, signed him in late. Only late mark he's ever had.

Explain to the teacher that you are having some difficulties with this and enlist her support/agreement. It shouldn't last more than a week.
Then, if she is not out of PJs take her to school in them. The shame and standing out in a crowd should fix it.
If she has not eaten breakfast, she goes hungry. Some kids and grown ups don't like to eat until morning tea time - so make sure she has plenty of snacks for break.
When she DOES do something right, shower her with praise.

Fixed times when things have to be done by (ie 7.30 downstairs, dressed, with teeth brushed; 8.30 leave the house). No TV until they're completely ready bar shoes and coat. My DS does sound like your DD, though, so I do end up doing the shouty mummy thing quite a lot . One thing I've just discovered is to say (when he's dithering) 'Fine, we can be late, but you need to go and apologise to Mrs X and explain to her why you were late'. Works a treat.

im glad thi gs were a bit less stressful yesyerday OP

i have a 4,6 and 8yo to galvanise everyday
we are hard arse crew here(i have threatened taking in pj,but never had to)

advise on the dawdle to school chiving along with can you see the red door/wheres the post box etc helped keep my dawdler moving as they ran to the next thing to show me

keep up the good work
routines and the acceptance mum wont break take time!

when mine were that age I had to develop a sergeant-mayor-alter-ego for the mornings. I can still do that voice, now do it to make them laugh as they are older and it's all easy now!

yes, this stage too shall pass.

until then, I found bellowing orders in a menacing manner was the only thing that worked.

"Put your shoes on NOW! I said NOOOOOOOWWWW! " etc. ad infinitum (or until they are about 6). I also cheat on myself by putting my kitchen clock 7 minutes forward, and therefore inducing an early panic, which means we got (and get) on time, somehow.

I knew I fiddled the clock, but I would still jump into action when the clock strikes 8:30 ("BOOOOYYYYSSS! We Have To Leave NOW! I said NOOOOOOWWWWW!")

i'd do it exactly as athrawes said. My approach completely. I couldn't do shouting all morning.

Dd was exactly the same as yours, and we are still late on occasion now, but only two or three minutes, so everyone is still sauntering into the building.

Firstly, tell the teacher and the TA, it will help enormously to not have them tutting at you too often.

Secondly, don't get her up too early. There needs to be no time for tv/playing, as that will go totally downhill. Tiredness excentuates (sp?) the situation, so early bedtimes too.

Thirdly, bring everything into the room she has breakfast in. Dd can't get dressed before breakfast, as she misses her mouth too often. Set a timer for ten mins, and as soon as the timer goes off the breakfast bowl gets taken away. She will soon learn that she will be hungry by 9.30 unless she speeds up. I hated this bit as I am a huge believer in getting a good breakfast, but it was necessary and worked very quickly. Once she has eaten, do teeth over the sink so no toothpaste goes down the uniform, and then uniform on. If she is confined to the breakfast room then she will not be able to get distracted with toys and pens etc.

You need to be fully ready before you get dd up. You need to be next to her the whole time, constantly cajoling her and egging her on. Heap on the praise - "you are such a clever girl, I am so proud that you are my daughter, if other parents could see how well you do in the mornings they would be so jealous!", and if she kicks off then "I bet xxxx would never behave like this. S/he is always in school on time, what would s/he think if s/he saw you behaving like this?" Or "Mrs XX would be so sad if she thought that you hated school so much that you didn't want to get there on time. She tries very hard to make sure that you are having fun. If we are late she will want to know why, and I will have to tell her that you didn't want to get dressed". Then if there are reasons for hating school they come out at that point, you come up with a way to solve them, and dd is feeling much brighter and more willing to comply.

If she won't get dressed, she goes to school in pj's. Dd's teacher and TA were so horrified that she turned up in her pj'sthat she turned up in her pj's (they were acting as they knew that situation, but made a huge fuss re. how they thought she was more grown up than that!) that she would let me dress her for a few months. Then it would slip, she would go in in pj's and it would start again. Now we have no probs.

A routine helps massively, and it does get slowly easier. I always worry at the end of holidays that this time her will will be too strong, but now I need to be on a train as soon as I have dropped her off she knows that there is no messing around!

We have "need to do" "want to do" and I walk around shouting "NEED TO OR WANT TO?!?!?!?!?" at the top of my voice at random moments throughout the morning to keep DD on track.. it's mental and loud but it works and we have a giggle about it on the way to school.

Also, I know a lot of people say no TV until theye ready but that doesn't work for DD - much better is to let her get up, turn on the TV, watch for 4 minutes while I'm making breakfast then pause what she's watching and put the remote up high. She can have it back when she's completely ready... much more motivating whn they want to see the end of something specific.