how the heck do you get your LO to school on time.....

[babymutha]

dd will enter reception on Sept 12th. We were late for pre-school virtually every day, whether I got up at 6, 7 or 8am. DD v strong willed, won't dress herself unless she feels like it, won't let me brush her hair, takes 30-45 mins to eat a bowl of cornflakes, sits of toilet without weeing or pooing for AGES and then walks at the speed she feels like (although I have managed to enlist tree fu tom big world magic and a scooter to speed her along, so that is the least stressful bit of our journey). I don't want to spend every day YELLING at my child. Please give me your wisdom......

I didn't do it to humiliate him! I'm appalled anyone would think that, and I'm sad that you are shocked, DDF.

He is someone who prefers to sleep in his day time clothes - actually, refuses to wear pyjamas since about a year before he started school - and the clothes were still clean, he is only little, he doesn't usually require a shower in the morning, and looked perfectly alright. Perfectly normal, just like any other day. I didn't like to put him through the hassle of changing him out of them and then back into the same clothes again.

No one cared (or noticed) least of all him.

NC - perhaps they say yes because they know I am serious, as I have often suggested teaching them at home. They would rather be at school. I just don't believe in setting up a situation where we want different things, when it isn't about that - it's not about me being in charge, it is about what works, what is necessary, and when it comes down to it, who will have to explain to their class and teacher if they arrive late. And that won't be me, usually.

NB we only did the sleeping in clothes thing one time, and it was totally by accident, he fell asleep and I didn't wantto wake him - I don't think it would be wise to make a habit of it.

I use a collection service provided by the before and after school club. They get taken in to eat at 8am, then dropped off at school for me.

It has made a massive change in my life, I have an extremely difficult DD and it was a nightmare for the first year of my DS in Reception, then her in nursery the next. Mornings were a massive battle and getting her to walk anywhere hellish.

Now all I do is pick them up, stop at the park for 30 minutes and get home mostly without too much trouble.

I don't let them watch any television either, it just causes bad behaviour when you try to get them to leave, even if everything is already done.

I take a hard-arse approach to two things: settling to sleep with minimum fuss and getting out the door when I need us to. I threaten to withdraw TV (and iPad on the weekends). And then I follow through. Works 99.9% of the time, which is fine by me.

When I say No TV or iPad, I mean none whatsoever all day (before and after school or at any time of the day if it's the weekend/holiday).

Be organised and stick to a routine is my advice - start as you mean to go on! Being late disrupts the rest of the class especially when they are small and getting used to their new surroundings.

I have 3 boys aged 2, 5 and 7 - I have to get to work and being late is not an option for us.

I get uniform and bags packed the night before (bags at the front door with my stuff for work).

I get up at 6.30 and get showered and dressed before getting the boys up.

They get washed and dressed before going downstairs for breakfast; after breakfast it's teeth cleaning and shoes on - if there's time left and they are all ready they can play, watch tv etc. 8.05 coats on, 8.10 in the car and on our way.

I take no prisoners in a morning, left to their own devices they may make it to school for lunch - I'm fairly relaxed the rest of the time!

THANK YOU ALL for your varied and interesting advice, wisdom and empathy (where it was possible).
We have decided to take you up on several things that are (so far fingers crossed) working:
a) routine and strict time schedule/clock watching - something rather alien to this household but so far, so good (first 2 days not all smiles and radiance, I have to admit - but luckily that was before school started) - we invested in EGG TIMERS (for heavens sake...... has it really come to this?... but she likes them....)
b) being completely ready to leave the house before I or DH get DD up
c) leaving 10 minutes before we have to
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
D) much silliness - v important to stop the SHOUTY MUMMY from ruining the morning

YESTERDAY was v hard, there was much upset and being told what a bad mummy I was prior to the start of school. I cried - at home on own - when I left her in the class with SO MANY children and saw her go into a little stupefied coma of fear for the first time ever. After school she was v quiet and sad. we made flapjacks....

TODAY - SHE IS A DIFFERENT CHILD!!! she got dressed quickly, she ate breakfast in 10 minutes flat.........(no! this cannot be!) she had TIME TO PLAY before we left the house (she spent 15 minutes NOT going to the loo but hey....) WE WERE NOT LATE. We were 10 minutes early.

The sun is shining.... wahey.

Now my challenge is to keep this up.
thanks everyone

good news babymutha

DS was an absolute nightmare too (and still is on occasion in year 2 )

We have a rule that he is not allowed downstairs until he is washed, dressed and ready to go.

On mornings when he is going to be difficult (and i know this from the second he wakes) then either me or DP goes downstairs and makes his favourite breakfast - pancakes with maple syrup and then make loud 'yummy' and 'it's nearly all gone' noises....always gets him moving.

I have 3, aged 7, 5 and 2 and we are out the door by 7.10am every morning. I made a poster for the boys' room with a list on it (twee alert) saying

1. Get out of Bed
2. Get dressed
3. Downstairs for Breakfast
4. Brush teeth
5. Off to school in mum's school bus

Worked a treat! Uniforms are all laid out on chair, whilst they are getting ready, I get cerals out, bowls and spoons and put milk in a little jug, so they can sort out their own breakfasts. They then get reminded to come and brush their teeth once breakfast finished.

No TV or ipads or other gadgets until breakfast, teeth done and shoes are on.

Then if time, they can sit and watch a bit of telly before I get them out the door.

I knew a mother who brought her child to school in his pyjamas once, she only had to do it the once!

Give yourself a strict time that you have to leave the house (allowing ten minutes more than you need to get to school on time)
Work backwards from there to give yourself the times you need to finish breakfast, getting DCs dressed etc (and if they are fussy dressers/ eaters schedule in the amount of time accordingly).
Get your DD her own alarm clock so she can feel like she's taking responsibility for getting up herself.
Really importantly give yourself half an hour to get your thoughts in gear and have a cup of coffee before DCs get up - I find that makes me far more calm and efficient (I get up at 5.40 at the moment but it is worth it to have that half hour of calm, and it makes it easier to get up knowing I'll miss out on the time to myself if I don't!)
Also I have notebooks to make my DCs do things like handwriting, writing out tables etc... in the morning if they have any spare time (saves them fighting with each other!) or they practise their music. I'd recommend no TV in the morning, we've tried it and it always seems to make us late. Also there are far better things to be doing that get your DCs more in the mindset for a day at school, even just drawing a picture or playing with their dolls is far better imo.

'Big school, big school rules' has been my mantra. This includes:

• if you want breakfast, get dressed first
• if you want breakfast, wear an apron
• you must wear your uniform because the teacher says so
• No TV until after you have eaten your breakfast (otherwise it takes 4 hours to eat one small bowl of cereal)
• you must brush your hair and clean your teeth and put your shoes and socks on beofre we leave for big school. If you do not, I will leave without you. (For some reason this one works!)

Good luck - got every sympathy with you!

Two words. Death threats.

"The No yelling morning routine"
7.10 am - Alarm clock starts
7.20 am - Up, curtains open
7.25 am - Dressed, beds made, rooms tidy
7.35 am - Breakfast
7.45 am - Upstairs, brush teeth, wash, brush hair
7.55 am - Bags packed by the front door
8.00 am - Music practice
8.10 am - Pack up instruments
8.15 am - Shoes and coats on
8.20 am - Out the door to school

Sellotaped to EVERY door in our house and the fridge for several years
kids were mortified when I refused to remove it when friends came round
it still works.

You do 10 minute music practices?? It would take DS that long to put a clarinet together which is why we stopped the lessons

Everything before music can flex so it can expand or get missed - and DD is on Grade 6 so it seems to work :-)
My other secret was that those timings got us to school 15 minutes early so I had hidden leeway.

I have DS 7 weeks and DD year 2 and so far has only been late to school once when there was heavy snow (no one got late marks that day it was considered an achievement to arrive at all!!) Its harder now with a baby though so may well be late soon. DP is usually away in the week so our mornings go roughly like this

Night before - lay out clothes for everyone down to pants, socks, coats etc. Pack book bags, find school coat and leave ready for morning

6am - 6.30am feed change and dress DS and dress myself
6.30-6.45am make and gulp down coffee, unload dishwasher, start sorting out breakfast stuff while ds plays in bouncy chair
6.45am wake DD and eat breakfast with her (sausage sandwich and orange juice this morning)
7.15am Send DD to get dressed brush teeth etc. whilst I feed and change DS again and drink more coffee
7.30am go over dd's spellings while continuing to feed DS
7.45am Do DD's hair then, get dd to ensure she has bookbag, coat and fruit for break
8am leave house and if DD isn't ready tough she goes as she is

We have half an hour for breakfast because DD is a slow eater and I'd rather she relaxed and enjoyed it than tried to rush it down. I don't usually scream as it just upsets her and slows her down. Definitely no television - the rule in our house is not before 4pm except at weekends

Is this for real !!!! A four year old dictates when they get dressed,when they eat, if they walk and how fast, messes about on the toilet and generally rules the home! The family 'can't' go on holiday because they wouldn't make the flight! Therefore I assume any visiting friends/days out etc are also 'difficult' if the 'Little Boss' decides they don't want to go. GET A GRIP! if you can't take control at 4yrs, then when? Do you think it will get better on its own! that she will wake up at 5yrs, /8yrs, / 15yrs whenever and suddenly think 'Oh I am not the most important person on the planet ' You are doing her no favours by allowing her to call the shots.
For the record I do have DC's and yes they could be a complete pain in the ass when they where younger,(and sometimes still are) but they also knew that we, as parents had the 'casting vote' when required.Your daughter and the whole family will be so much happier (and on time) if she knows who is in charge and where the boundary is .

I also have three dc 7, 5, 2 and I second the "take no prisoners" approach. I am also fine with yelling - they expect it now really. I often carry the little one out under my arm screaming and yelling and having a tantrum because he wants more food (after 2 weetabix) - 8.10 we go whether people have finished eating or not!

I put everything in the car the night before except clothes, shoes and dc.

I do like the poster though - am going to adopt that.

Does anyone else laugh hollowly at the advice often given to get up half an hour before your DCs? Or am I the only one who considers that I've had a lie in if none of my DCs have got me up by 5.30am? I realise it works for those whose DC enjoy sleeping in of course :)

I am usually up with the toddler around 5am but I don't do much aside from change his nappy, bring him downstairs so the older 2 can sleep a bit longer, and get him milk, until 6.15am. I would shower in that time if he didn't howl the place down when I get in the shower...

6.15am - wake DD (Year 2, the only one at school), and DS1 (would be just starting reception if we lived in the UK) and shower, dress self etc. while they get dressed and brush teeth, ds2 is OK with me showering if his siblings are up (I know it "should" be after breakfast but that way doesn't work)

6.45 all downstairs, kids eat breakfast while I make their sandwiches (aside from food bags are sorted the afternoon before when homework is finished)

7am - See DD out the door and watch her from the door as she walks over the road and 100 meters to the bus stop.

7.15 - change toddler's nappy and dress him, shoes and coats on, out the door to take DS1 to Kindergarten (but if I feel lazy this can slip and I can let ds1 play, as he can arrive any time between 7.30 and 8.30 - after 8.30 is a problem though as the doors are then shut and I have to hang about outside with him til the end of circle time)

I have never had a problem with the early morning part of the day or getting kids out of the door, consequently I can't really see what the fuss is about, but things fall apart organisation wise not long after 8am

Babymutha is your DD socially aware as well as strong willed? I would go the route of making sure she goes to bed in warm and "decent" PJs and threatening, and carrying through the threat, that if she isn't ready you will take her to school in her PJs (and have a spare uniform and a couple of cereal bars and a banana and a bottle of water in a bag which you carry without telling her about it, so that if she leaves the house unfed and not dressed that can be remedied! Might be worth briefing her teacher you are considering doing this first though! DS1 had a brief getting dressed strike phase (possibly linked to arrival of DC3 and wanting to be babied) and it only took one day of me walking to the car when he was still in his no longer at all "cool" when you are already 4 'Bob The Builder' PJs for him to panic and go back to getting dressed by himself in 30 seconds flat :)

I've got one DS who is YR and a closet teenager where bed is concerned.
6am try and wake self up.
6.15am haul self out of bed, shout wakey wakey at DS
6.25am (now dressed etc) go and tickle any feet sticking out and shout BOO!
6.30am point out that if he doesn't get up, he'll be going to Big School in PJs
6.35am hear thundering feet across landing to bathroom while I'm making sandwiches
6.45am check to see how dressing is going and timecheck him
6.50-6.55am expect small boy downstairs and playing
7am Shout SHOES ON TIME to anyone listening
7.05am Race DH to cars and try and get out the road first (tears if we don't win!)
Sandwiches and drinking yoghurt in car because he won't eat toast and cereal at
7.45am Breakfast Club

It does (mostly) work!

And we love wind-up egg timers!

TheEnglishWoman strangely enough it only seems to be weekends when my children don't require waking up!

I'm lucky in the mornings TheEnglishwoman and generally manage to have half an hour of peace before getting my four DCs up. However, they are all night owls (probably because they share bedrooms) and I have a much more difficult time getting any peace and quiet in the evenings. My quiet half hour in the morning is what keeps me sane (just about!)