If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

If I lived in the UK I probably would, yes. No need where I am, luckily, as we couldn't possibly afford it.

Yes, and we do.

I think if you can afford it and that situation does not change, when I went to school many years ago I always remember that our school had 2 brothers start who parents had pulled them from private school (not sure why) and they got mullered, the most bullied kids I have ever seen, it was awful...they were eaten alive...

Yes, but only if I also had enough money for a nicer house and car - I wouldn't want DS to be bullied as the poor kid and ashamed to bring his wealthier friends round. And as Tak3n says, I'd need to know that I could afford to see him all the way through school privately.

Well, obviously if a school (state or private) school permits bullying such as Tak3n describes then you'd want to keep well away.

You really do need to look at what you think makes a good education, what your DC is like, and what the schools in your area are really like, then decide which school suits best (and is likely to provide the basis for what you want for the next stage).

As a primary school teacher I have to say, yes, in a heartbeat. It kills me that we will not be able to. I hate the attitude of many schools (done supply for 4 years so seen a few). Hate the way clever kids are overlooked, gifted and talented means nothing and the way average kids often fade into the background.

I know there are exceptions to this, but not where we live.

I should of specified this is going back 25 years, just always remember it as it was really brutal, but as I remember it I was only in the 2nd year and the 5th year students was a really rough year, a lot of trouble makers, I remember there was one kid who got expelled if I recall on the bus just started beating the shit out of this poor kid really bad, bus driver did not even stop... i think he was frightened as we all were as this bully was a psycho, I think he pulled a knife on a teacher, that was what finally got him expelled....

It depends on the quality of the schools where you are. If my choice was a very good / outstanding state primary versus a run of the mill small prep I would pick the state primary.

My actual choice was between good faith primaries that we couldn't get into as we were not Christian and a community school with no playing fields, a high pupil turnover and 70%+ children not speaking English as first language (my sons would have been part of the dominant ethnic minority so would have probably spent most of their time mixing with a monoculture and speaking Arabic). We sent them to a prep school which is much more culturally diverse and has playing fields.

If we lived near RGS High Wycombe or Cranbrook, for example, and my sons were bright enough to get in (too young to tell yet, although it is a given that all MN parents have bright children ) I wouldn't see much benefit to sending them to private school.

No I wouldn't. My cousins all went to private school, not one of them ended up with a degree, or decent job. My family all went to local schools ,all have degrees and my brother nd sister have great jobs(I am a sahm for now). BUT we have great local schools.

No.

I would only use private as a last resort.

Yes, I'm just starting to look at the local state secondary schools as DS keeps getting older and I don't like what I see! The main feeder for his primary is in special measures and the other one several kids a year go to made a huge splash in the local papers last year over a bullying/fighting culture and a fight after school in the high street!

Private can be poor for any type of SEN in general, state usually having far more experience/resources.

My DS's village cricket club are allowed to go to a local private school for nets practice once a week. Oh the facilities, the space, the teachers! I am envious. We're working out whether there is any way we can send DS private now that DH has a much more secure job and I have increased my hours. Our primary is fine, but secondary is worrying me. Or we may move house to get into a better catchment area, there is an ex-grammar with good results over the border in the next county and DH and I could both still get to work if we moved in that direction...

Yes -- I'd send him to a French school. DH is French and we're raising DS to be bilingual.

I'm also a bit scared by what I read on MN about all the state school rules -- your DC can't wear their hair certain ways, they can't bring certain foods in for lunch, they have to pay for this or that, god forbid they miss a day of school because there's a family wedding on the other side of the world.

I do understand there are reasons for all those rules, it just feels a bit dictatorial.

yes, but as a day pupil, not as a boarder ( I was a boarder)

Cunning, can I ask why you think they haven't got degrees/jobs?

Chazs, assuming the local state option is ok, not outstanding.

Yes, I certainly would.

No. Even at our local day school the fees for just one child would add up to more than £50,000 for years 7-11. That's a staggering amount of money to have to guarantee to have for all those years in the future. I'd rather save it for university.

I honestly do not know why they don't. They went to a couple of the best private schools, as boarders and day pupils. This is my own experience and by no means is the experience of others, but I just don't see that all the money poured into it by their parents did them any good. I strongly believe we get out what we put in. We work closely with our DS and education is important. No matter how you go about it. Saying that, if our local schools where rubbish, I can't say I wouldn't consider it. Our nearest private school is 40 min drive each way, so not an option anyway.

Yes if they offered something more than the local state schools. In my area there are a few private schools and they vary from being very academic and sleective to being small family orientated schools that are non-selective but with a strong behavioural and work ethic.

The school we chose (family/non selective) has an excellent GCSE pass rate, many go on to do degrees but actually they believe as do I that isn't necessarily the 'be all' and also those pupils who land amazing opportunities such as apprenticeships in big companies etc are also considered successful.

DH and I never went to uni but have better jobs than most our friends who did. Going to Uni doesn't mean you get a better job so kind of irrelevant when talking about who did or didn't go to a private school.

Its about giving your children the best education you possible can provide - this all depends on the schools in your area - some state schools are amazing, unfortunately most of ours in our area are crap!

It say it all to me that DSs head teacher and deputy head both send their DCs to private school straight from their local infant school. I have heard of many teachers who feel the same and would if they could.

Well, I might if the only source of information I had about state education was the ill informed rubbish frequently spouted on mumsnet!

Doodlekitty - Here Here. In fact the way certain 'groups' of children are left to just coast by was the main reason we pulled ds out of state school at the end of y3. dd starting private in sept (y3).
BEST THING WE'VE EVER DONE FOR DS.

Yes and we did. Local schools to us are very good but some have 33 in a year group. This is too many in one class.

Yes, and we do because to send a shy immature summer born dd with glue ear into a faith school with a reception intake of 36 (yes, 36) was unthinkable last year so we pulled out all the stops to pay for our local gdst school for at least the first three or four years.

I cant remember where I read the study, but it said paying for a private tutor to help with your children studies actually bridges the gap between state and private by a massive amount, so that is what we will do as he gets older

I would happily transfer my dd to state if me moved into a good catchment area. Unfortunately we are in the crazy position that we can just about afford to send her private (it's not one with really massive fees schools) but we cannot afford to move!