If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

If we had more than one child, sadly another was not to be, we wouldn't be able to send our dd to private school, because we couldn't afford to do it for two.

Maybe if we had a good Grammar like yours Seeker, we wouldn't need to send her privately.

My apologies. My remark was directed to Pyrrah, and I should have nape necked her. I am very sorry if I upset anyone. Pyrrah specifically said that she was only going to have one child because her child would go to state secondary "over her dead body" Now that's crass!

Name checked.

Thanks for coming back and clarifying seeker.

kTk9 - I am going to change my name to "seeker who has one child at grammar and another who will in September be going to a school that would make mumsnetter's hair curl"

No I wouldn't send my DC to a private school if money were no object as I'm strongly opposed to them on principle.

FWIW I went to both a private secondary school and a state comp.

Would move near a good school rather than go private any day.

three how can you strongly oppose private schools on principle, and then in the next breath say you would "move near a good school rather than go private"?

How is this having principles?

Its not quite as simple as moving closer to a school for some.
My area is vastly oversubscribed, people who live 200m from their closest school didn't get it.

Thanks to all those that have helped

See three feet that's what I mean about principles ... Moving nearer to a 'good' school instead of going private, how is that actually any different?

In response to Pyrrha I am an only child who was privately educated and I would have much preferred a sibling, back then and now!

We chose private school for our dc but it is not the be all and end all to me. I now think that family is actually the most important factor in life and education. Hindsight is a great thing!

Well I'm sorry if the subject bores some people, but I've never discussed it before and it was kinda important to me.

Oh don't worry
Made our decision now.

What is your decision lostboysfallin? I've been lurking on the thread. My DS1 has been allocated to a state primary school 1.8 miles away from our home (London btw so very busy roads, enroute to the school is a very busy A road) while we wait for a nearby school place to come up. We have contemplated private and will be seeing a private school next week as a 'backup' plan. I'm shocked it's come to this as we moved specifically to get into a state primary and before anyone jumps on me, we are in the vicinity of several primary schools of varying standards and they were all down on our form and we would have been happy for DS1 to go to any. We were plain unlucky.

However, money aside (we are not raking in it and parents won't be helping but DH earns good money and we will find it somewhere if it comes down to it), for me, when it comes down to it, I would choose a better education for my DCs (private or state). I would have preferred that DS1 attended a local state primary in the community so he can make friends with people/families we live with. However, it looks like we might not have a choice but to go private - DH's reasoning is that if we can't do the 'community' thing and have to commute to get DS1 to school, we might as well put him in private rather than a very average primary while I am of the view that we will send him to the school he has been assigned to and fingers and toes crossed he gets a place in the local state in his reception year before we contemplate private. Now we sit and wait to find out where we are on the wait list! But I wouldn't have any qualms about pulling him out of state OR private if he wasn't thriving in either! I have no principles when it comes to my kids' well-being!!!! It's a very complex issue though and not as straightforward as state or private, I think.

I have never added to any of these threads in the past but if we could afford it, no, we wouldn't.

Have decided on the private option, it's also not a conventional private school, it's a bit alternative.

For a few different reasons, but mainly because of the class size and facilities.
The private option offers more sport, outdoors activity, music, art, drama.So it just feels like DS is being given every opportunity to find something he likes or is good at.

The friends I've made from DS's nursery have come from events/playdates and the kids parties, not chatting at the gates
So walking to the local community school isn't top of my list.
The private option is a couple of miles away but the children will still socialise in the town that's central to us all.

From day one I have been convinced that this school is perfect for DS. So I'm very happy

lostboysfallin Good luck with your decision! You sound like you are happy with it, which is important. I am really torned as I want my DCs to go to a local school. But we have seen a few private schools, not all we liked, but they do seem to give the children a lot more 1-on-1, which we think it's important for DS1 (who gets bored easily but is into everything so needs quite a lot of engaging). The one we are seeing next week isn't 'posh' as such but we actually know a few friends who have kids there and very happy with it and my DH says if we can't get into local school, the next best alternative is for him to go to this private school where he will at least know some of the kids he is going to school with.

Good luck and glad you feel happy with your decision .

Just saw this in the news which puts paid to some posters argument that there is little diversity in independent schools.

angel - we decided against the nearest local 'private' school, because the head was too snobby!

As for diversity, in my dd's old state school, it was all white british (oh and a couple of Irish!) - the whole school!

At the school she is now there are so many different races and religions I wouldn't be able to count them. In her class (16 kids), she is best friends with a little girl who's parents are from India and go back each summer. A boy who is from Spain, a girl with grandparents in Jamaica and a little girl who came from China when she was 2.

She meets all the kids from the local schools (her old classmates), at Beavers once a week and the local tennis/sports club in the village. I think I would call that mixing with all types!! What bloody rubbish is spouted on here!

Glad you are sorted OP, once you have made the decision it is easy from therein!!! Hope it goes well.

KTk9 Thanks for your posting. I really need to hear that. The council wrote to me today to tell us where we are on the wait lists for the local schools (unofficially as deadline for accepting/rejecting places not till May 2nd) and it ain't looking good. So private is looking more likely now. I still feel really sad at giving up the whole 'local', 'community' thing I had hoped for with a local state primary so your post is exactly what I needed to hear.

"Yes- a wide cultural, and ethnic mix of well off middle class children!"
Not true seeker, which is why I said that there is a wide mix culturally, and of income as well.

We find the property bubble has shaken up a lot of class systems where we are: people can now afford to pay for education who would never have been able beforehand: multimillionaire brickies / property owing clerical level workers are quite commonplace, as well as middle class professionals who also "won" in the housing bubble.

The state school is just filled with lower class people from sink estates in the inner city - not a good mix in any way at all.

Glad you are happy OP.

And there we have the crux of the problem. The state school is filled with lower class people from sink estates, so my kids won't go there. So the state school remains like that.