If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

sorry that meant to say my father really shone at PRIVATE school

Lou those figures are similar to the school my niece went to and failed at. I think my db was genuinely shocked at how badly she did. He is state educated up to two postgrad degrees so very clever indeed.

Lou2321 I know you won't believe me, but hand on heart I did not post what I said to deliberately provoke an argument. You'll just have to trust me when I say it's what I've always felt. I do have a very left wing father though so possibly I've been influenced from an early age (I wasn't privvy to the conversations he had with my mother about sending me to Marlborough, I'm sure they were ahem colourful :o)

Absolutely, in a shot.

I'd rather do it than buy an overpriced house to get into an over subscribed state school too.

I was failed by my local primary school and saved by private. My DSD has been failed by her local primary. My DSS (very smart) is being failed by his high school. If we had the money I would want them both to go private but it's not my choice.

BTW I'm fucking baffled by the idea that someone is instantly a scummier just for having earned money.

cremeeggs I agree with you, and seeker, just drop it will you?

No. I went to state school and loved it. Made friends that I still have today, went to university, have a good career, and gained an understanding that the world is not always an easy place for people, and an empathy for those who don't have as much as me, that I think I would not have had from going to a private school . I also know friends who did well (and not so well) academically at private school but who had horrible times there,

I could have all the money in the world but I would not trade my state school experience for a private school one - and it would not cross my mind that my child would needed a private school to do well. There are pros and cons with both of course, but IMO those who believe that private is automatically better than state are missing the bigger picture.

to go back to the OP, I wouldn't sacrifice at all costs though. As someone said to me a year or so ago, "school is a big part of their life but not their whole life".

A high proportion of our year 8's do go onto the local comprehensive. It does have an excellent reputation.

dreamingbohemian don't be angry at the 13 year old me turning down the opportunity to go to Marlborough, going to a state comprehensive in Croydon hasn't held me back in any way. I never saw it as an advantage. We had plenty of friends who went to private schools and actually the stories they told me scared me a lot. Lots of bullying, lots of anorexia, lots of homesickness. If I'm being honest I think that scared me off the idea of private school rather more than the anti elitist ideaology. :o

I was failed by a god-awful state comprehensive, but I still disagree with private schools. In fact, if there weren't private schools, there might've been parents at my school motivated enough to do something about it.

(Not meaning to show off) I've got two postgrad degrees, but still there are gaping holes in my general knowledge and mental scars from bullying. So did I do well under the current system? Up for debate.

I don't see people on this thread assuming private is automatically better than state -- I think a lot of people are facing state schools that are really not that good and saying in that case they would go private.

Anyway when does the anti-elitism end? What if you send your DC to state schools for ideological purposes, but then they grow up and become elites themselves?

When I think about it, I have a friend who went to all private schools who now works for Oxfam. The one banker I know went to state schools. So their contributions to social elitism have essentially been reversed as adults.

It's a dilema I never thought I'd have to face but having not been offered a foundation place at our 4 nearest schools I'm having to consider it now. Ethically I dislike the idea of private school because if all the rich kids went to the local comp then perhaps it would get the donations from "daddy" and bursaries set up by grateful ex-pupils and all the stuff that goes on at public schools.

But I went to see a prep school and it was so very normal - I loved it. The class sizes were just 15 pupils per year, it was just a short walk from our house and two thirds of the year 6 children had won scholarships to independant secondary schools and the others were going to our local comps. Their KS2 results are outstanding and they are really focussed on drama and speech and debate as well as the NC.

I'm politically opposed but it's difficult to maintain your principles when it's your child who is getting the shitty end of the LA's stick.

" I agree with you, and seeker, just drop it will you?"

Sorry, didn't realise this thread was labelled "No dissenting voices need apply"

yeah seeker how dare you have an opinion?

yeah

I think Waspie sums up the attitude of a lot of parents. Prefer State, but if only school offered is miles away/very low achieving etc then will dig deep and go private. It's a shame we have such a divided system in this country.

It depends on the state schools around. We are lucky, 5 very good primary state schools, no need to pay for a public one.

But I would always consider it for secondary school.

What Headfairy said, 100%.

headfairy fair enough -- but I would probably still have been angry with you out of jealousy, being 13 and all

No, never. I think my children are already ridiculously over priviledged through accident of birth and I'll be damned if I'm going to buy them a better education on top of that...

^^ seeker Mon 23-Apr-12 14:17:17

Seeker, you are very welcome to your own prejudice opinions but it is one thing to have an opinion yourself, it's another to challenge anyone whose opinion you consider wrong.

society I don't see how that could be classed as prejudice or even an opinion - it's true!

Most definitely, especially for secondary. In fact we are seriously thinking of not having anymore kids so we can afford to send our DD to private school.

It depends on the schools really.

We have a local private school with a hideous drug problem. The kids seem to have lots of money and choose to spend it on drugs and alcohol. The grass is not always greener.

Where to start?!
Thanks so much for all your views.
I'm just trying to make sure I have covered all the bases.

I am an old hippy at heart, my family are very working class and tbh state schools failed us massively
I simply want to give my child every opportunity and I believe he will
respond better to more individual teaching, which just comes down to class size.
I live in one of those areas where the schools are massively oversubscribed, last year was carnage and the council have addressed the situation and provided more classes, which are not even built yet.

I know a few very ordinary families who pay for private schools, it's not all pony club and holidays in Mustique.
We are not a very wealthy family, but wouldn't go without to pay fees.

Fundamentally I do have an issue with paying for schooling, but I also believe that the govt should provide a good and equal education, but that just doesn't happen.

And the private school is local.

how is your child socially? will they cope with being the poor kid at the posh school? that part was hard for my DH, but he still needed the private school for various reasons and on balance it was right for him. I on the other half would have HATED it, i'ld never have measured up to the glamourous girls at the local private school, I liked being in the middle socially at school, not flash but not the poorest either, and since I coped academically with state I'm so glad I didn't have to go through that social aspect