If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

I'm glad I'm not the only hippy on here Lulu... I'm sure some very clever people can create some plausible argument as to how private education betters the country, but I can't see it as anything more than elitism.

Headfairy - I almost feel you have made up your post to get a reaction!!

My friends DC goes to private school, husband works for a public sector company in a normal job, good wages but only due to shift work. Wife is a pre-school assistant and puts every penny of their wages to paying for the schooling.

SO what if the 'daddy' is a CEO of a big company, it is likely that he has worked 20 hour days for many years to get there and surely has every right to do what he wants with his hard earned cash, same for a lawyer - many many years of training, hard work and crappy duties to get to a high level. Why shouldn't people who work hard to earn a good wage not be entitled to priviledges, many private schools offer up to 90% bursaries to people on a low income.

Maybe if the state schools were consistently good then people wouldn't bother with private - we probably wouldn't have until secondary if at all to be honest.

x-post with headfairy

I admire your honesty!

There is something to what you say but frankly, if children grow up in a wealthy family, there are many other ways they will already be tempted to think they are better than others. They will have bigger houses, nicer cars, better food, better holidays, etc. That's just the nature of the beast.

As I said, I grew up working class. My 13 year old self would have been quite angry with your 13 year old self for not appreciating the amazing advantages you had.

Lula - I know of a school that did that too in a really short space of time, it was when a new HT took over and sorted it out - nothing to do with the governors!

Yes I would, and intend to if she doesn't get into the secondary school we want her to attend...long way off yet.

We are in a position that in a couple of years time I will have a guaranteed pension coming in, on top if whatever wages I earn (as long as I get a job!). As long as I am working we will be able to use the pension money for DD. If I cannot find work, then we wont be able to afford it.

I would as long as I had a plan in place if my DH lost his job or we got ill etc.

Our area still has the 11+ and grammar schools so probably wouldn't. If we were to move out of the area we would.

I think it is amazing when governors are that committed but unfortunately it just isn't the case everywhere. Schools are left to get into dire circumstances before anything is done.

I have huge admiration for people that do put the effort in, I have done this myself at a pre-school level and committed practically full time hours to turning things around. DSs state infant school was fantastic when he joined, unfortunately they are so successful the numbers have trebled and the ethos is changing over time, I don't have the time now to commit as givernor but I hope there are people that will as it is a lovely school.

As I said, I would happily keep my DCs in state schools if they were up to scratch!

"Our area still has the 11+ and grammar schools so probably wouldn't. If we were to move out of the area we would."

Don't count your chickens!

I just wanted to choose the school I wanted my son to go to. I did want to home ed but dh thought that was a crazy idea.

I don't think it is a case of the haves and have nots. There are many parents in our local school who are far wealthier than we are.

In principle I do agree with headfairy. I didn't even know private schools existed until I became a nanny.

I agree with fighting structural inequality and elitism.

I'm not comfortable sacrificing my son's education to that cause, however.

If we live near a good state school, great, but I would not send him to a godawful school when we could afford better, just to prove a point.

My preferred means of dealing with the issue would be advocacy toward getting wealthy individuals and corporations to pay their fair share, so there is enough money in the budget to improve public schools.

Ds1 no he was fine in good state system

Ds2 if I had the money yes without a doubt but tothus right one with right one with faclites for his intrests. But to be fair he has done well in the state system but think he would felt more confident about showing his ablitys sooner instead if trying to fit in

Dd no she's happy in state and we are fortunate to be in a good area for primary and secondary

Ds3 if I could afford the ICAN school and the move yes I would without a doubt

I would and do. My db is ideologically opposed to private education and made his choices for his dcs education on that basis. He has said that he really regrets his choices but too late now as one has left school without basic qualifications and the other is doing their GCSEs this year. My Sil refused to allow them the opportunity of doing the 11+ despite the school advising they were bright enough to pass. Depressing to see how that intelligence appears to have failed at poor secondary schools.

"I don't think it is a case of the haves and have nots. There are many parents in our local school who are far wealthier than we are. "

Are there many parents who are poorer than you?

bisjo - this is my exact concern, in particular with DS1 who is fairly bright. I had the same attitude re private schools, actually saying to friends considering it that I thought it was a waste of money etc and that if they were going to do well then they would do well anywhere. However when I realised we had such a poor choice if secondary schools in our area I started to change my opinion, it can't be right that only 30% of 1500 children in a school that is definitely not in a deprived area can achieve 5 GCSEs, the figure shoould be so much higher as children of average or less than average ability should be able to achieve this really.

I used to say to DH that all his friends who were privately educated that he actually is doing so much better than the majority of them but now I can see its about giving your DCs the opportunities you can, it doesn't guarantee they will continue to do well after they leave school but I will know I have given them the best start I can.

Completely agree with headfairy, although like dreamingbohemian I'd be reluctant to send my dcs to an awful state school. I'd suffer awful moral guilt if I sent them private though!

Wish wish wish private schools did not exist, their elitism cannot be argued to benefit society, and I'd argue they do a lot of harm, e.g. by keeping many committed parents out of the state system.

Headfairy makes a good point, and the biggest scandal is that our country is run by men who never saw a state school in their life....

In a heartbeat.
I have a highly gifted dd who is being failed by her state school,her needs are unrecognised and her giftedness and associated issues/problems are ignored.

I wouldn't. Doesn't fit in with my belief system. Im happy for mine to be educated by qualified experienced teachers in a school which is within the community we live in.

seeker At our prep school? yes there are. I only have one child though and am an older mother so probably in a better financial position than some. We do get a small forces discount.

It's a very difficult place to be when your moral convictions clash with what's best for your dcs. We all want the best for them, but these are deeply held beliefs... Also you could be contributing to a system that disadvantages other people's dcs.

I don't envy anyone grappling with it.

Well, the most highly rated state primary around here is surrounded by houses at eye watering prices. Lots of right on parents decide to pour all their resources into mortgages that buy them a place at that school. The school is effectively a white, middle class ghetto - but hey, the parents can claim that they believe in the state system.

I honestly couldn't give a one size fits all answer
one of my parents wanted to send me to private school, the other didn't, I didn't go, knowing ME it would have been wrong for me, the school I went to suited and served me better. My DH and Father both went private, for DH it was a step up in life state school was failing him and would have continued to do so, my father would have thrived anywhere but really shone at state school. My mum would have been happier at boarding school (MOD family but more settled when she was at school age than when her older sibs went to school), some of her siblings went, some thrived some didn't.

it depends on the child

my DS would really thrive at private school, he's sporty and bright and sociable! but IMO he will do okay at state school - if I had the money without having to make comprimises I'ld send him, I wouldn't send him and struggle in other areas. If I have another child, who knows? they might NEED it and I'ld say yes and make all kinds of sacrifices for it, or they might be the type that would hate that environment and prefer to go somewhere more normal.

IMO there is no hypothetical yes/no answer, it depends on the child and the school options nearby (both state and private)