I wish my friend hadn't told me how much her reception ds knows

[boinging]

I had been plodding along happily thinking my dd was doing fine in reception, when we had the conversation. It seems her ds knows all the phonic sounds, is reading car magazines and writes in full sentences with correct punctuation with pretty good spelling. And apparently he has aquired all this independently and at school, but she hasn't done anything with him.
My dd is starting to grasp reading, and can read words with the sounds she knows (by no means all of them). But her writing is often all over the page with sounds missing here and there. Please reassure me she is normal. I am starting to panic.

Your DD is doing fine and sounds perfectly normal.

your dd is fine, they are all different, i had a thread as my dd is spelling how she talks which is funny and i was reassured not to worry.
this weekend she wrote " wuns upon a time, we was at the porc and i sor a cat", some letters are huge and some are small and she writes her 3s back to front. she can read well but she knew her sounds last yr partly thanks to nursery and partly thanks to out fridge magnets.

In our house we never compare children. We simply work through things as a family. What other families do is their business.

Rule 1. Never, ever compare.
It is very diddicult not to compare children, but it does not help, all children learn at different stages.Your child sounds fine. I think if they are happy at school and beginning to make friends, it is just as important.

My DS can't read at all. He does know all the letter sounds individually but nothing like sh and ch yet. His writing is the same as your DDs. I am not worried at all and neither should you be.

Your daughter is doing well!

There will be loads of kids not doing as well as her in her class.

My DD1 in reception used to do colouring all day and eat playdo. She is now in 6th form with a fist full of A*s ! I found competitive parenting quite a sport in infant school and was so worried when friends kids seemed so much cleverer. Don't panic, smile and chat about the cute things your little one does. Treasure these years as they whizz by and the more time they can play the better - it doesn't matter if they read in reception or year 2, as long as they enjoy it. One of mine read big books in reception and now never picks up a book - would rather watch Hollyoaks.

Your DD is normal and sounds like she's doing perfectly!

Take everything that other parents say with a pinch of salt (I'm not saying that they are lying, their children could well be a child genius but there are always going to be things their child is better at than yours and vice versa). Just smile and nod and say, "how lovely!"

We're all proud of our children but nobody likes a boaster!

How do you know that your friend is not bullshitting exaggerating about what her DS can do?

Are they even in the same school? If not then she could tell you anything and you would probably never see any evidence.

...to the contrary.

1 your dc sounds exactly like my dn, who we are told is doing spectacularly well

2 she's clearly lying

Hth

She sounds about the same as my DS, who is brilliant btw.

Thnak you all you lovely ladies. I started to get into a panic state but feeling reassured now. in future i shall try to nip conversations like these in the bud. i actually had a hot flush in bad last night worrying about it!

Comparing DCs is always risky.
Comparing reception/Y1 is pointless.

I recon that by about Christmas in Y2 you get a good feel for reading ability.

By then DD1 was clearly getting no where and DD2 was the best reader in the class.
Half way through reception there was very little difference.

"reading car magazines"

My DD convinced her friends she could read perfectly - what she can do is to open a book and bluff her way through a very convincing version of the story based on memory and the pictures. I only found this out when some other mothers started saying "X says your DD can read whole stories" and I fell around laughing

She can also read phonically sound words and write approximations of sentences - but they are certainly not correctly spelt or punctuated (and she is the oldest and reportedly one of the most able in her year).

Take no notice, OP.

My daughter couldn't read in reception and in year one was in the fourth of five reading sets ( with one being the highest ability). She is sixteen now and doing her GSCE's this year. She is predicted all A's and A*'s in her twelve subjects and is in the top set for everything. Reception is no guide to future ability.
By the way none of my friends would be aware of this. I just say she's doing fine if anyone asks me. I think you should just let your friends comments go over your head. I have no time for competitive parenting!
Your daughter sounds happy and normal.

I would take what she says with a pinch of salt.

Back when dd was in reception, this other mother always put dd down and went on and on about how outstanding her ds was. I felt sad at the time and tried hard to ignore her.

Both dd and other woman's son are in year 3 today. Dd is streets ahead. Dd won the school's 'maths championship' last term, which had children in year 5 competing as well. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have known to laugh in the face of the other mother and replied something along the lines of, "good for him!"

I don't know. Perhaps in year 6 the other boy will be streets ahead of dd - it's all swings and roundabouts in my opinion.

We make a conscious effort not to compare our babies, so maybe we shouldn't compare our kids either!! It sounds like your DD is fine, try not to worry about her.

They're probably reading 'Lord of the Rings' before bedtime as well!

There are always parents who over-exaggerate their child's abilities. You just need to be able to nod, smile and then forget about it!

remember back to when the DC were babies, and there was always a Smug Mum whose DC slept 7-7 every night from birth, never sicked up an entire feed on your last clean top, and fitted in perfectly with her pre-DC lifestyle? She was lying then, and she's lying now that she's a Competitive Reception Mum. She'll carry on like this till the DC sits GCSEs at which point they genuinely will have got 20 A*s, or they'll be brilliant at some obscure out of school activity which limited the amount of time they had available for schoolwork, thus explaining the not-so-top-of-the-class exam results.

Nod and smile, and laugh inwardly

FWIW, DD3 wasn't reading till the easter before she started school in Y3 (we home edded till then), and although that was hard, holding my nerve till she was ready herself to do it, two years later she is never without a book in her hand. Similarly DDs 1 and 2 didn't really take to reading till about the same stage, despite having gone through reception/KS1 at school.

Oh and I bet the breezy 'I do nothing with him' is a bare faced lie!!
I used to worry in Reception but now [year 2] am much calmer. Try very hard not to compare. At this stage the aim is for her to learn to enjoy school not be a poor hot housed little thing.

your child is normal - each child learns at different paces and dont worry about it. DS1 wasnt bothered about reading in reception - its only now (second term in year 1) that reading seems to be clicking for him.

Oh ignore it. A couple of mine only learned to read really late (around 6-7) and one went to Cambridge and the other is in the top sets for things at secondary school and is doing a GCSE two years early.

It's not a race, and your DD sounds completely normal.

FWIW, the same dn was in the back of my (classic) beetle the other day "reading" the wiring diagram in the Haynes manual. Well, he was holding it the right way up