I wish my friend hadn't told me how much her reception ds knows

[boinging]

I had been plodding along happily thinking my dd was doing fine in reception, when we had the conversation. It seems her ds knows all the phonic sounds, is reading car magazines and writes in full sentences with correct punctuation with pretty good spelling. And apparently he has aquired all this independently and at school, but she hasn't done anything with him.
My dd is starting to grasp reading, and can read words with the sounds she knows (by no means all of them). But her writing is often all over the page with sounds missing here and there. Please reassure me she is normal. I am starting to panic.

Ime it wasn't that difficult to teach a child to read before reception, and so rather than seeing children as bright or gifted I prefer to look at it as having acquired or not yet acquired a series of skills.

I doubt any child works out the code of reading without adult input, or why would the Rosetta Stone have taken so long to solve?

not difficult? It is comments like this that make people insecure!

DS1 did not read until much later, (much later, ie 2 years later, at around age 7), and now he is 9 and reads as well as anyone else, and all the WORRY I have been through!

pfffffff

Perhaps I was just lucky enough to find a method which clicked with dd, but I do think a lot of people are put off even trying because by being told to leave it to school and that a child can only be academically advanced if they are naturally gifted.

Resist the comparison game. It's pointless and harmful for parents and children. Let her boast if that makes her day. WARNING: It only gets worst as they grow! After six years in my DS primary, I've developed all sort of techniques to avoid these sad sad people.

My DD can do those things, but the teacher told me that there is only one other child in her class who can too. Which means that there are 28 children who can't. That 28 includes DD's friends, who have been to our house, and who are all bright, interesting children with involved parents. So there is nothing wrong with your DD.

Don't forget too that children develop at different rates. There is actually some benefit to progressing a little later in life, because by that point you have learned how to work hard at something, rather than everything coming easily and then you never really get into the habit of studying hard.
:(

The key is never to compare because each party will come out of it badly. I think your friend's child sounds like my DD. She's in Reception and on Level 9 book band, writes stories and reads in bed on her own e.g she's currently reading a Michael Morpurgo book. I didn't realise this was so unusual until I started helping out in Reception (people had told me before but I thought it was one of those things they tell all parents) and we really haven't done anything to get her to that level (again helping out at the school has shown me the hard work that other parents are having to put in).
However, whilst I might talk about this on Mumsnet, I squirm when people raise it in RL for fear of being accused of being a competitive or pushy mum. Also, I don't think for a minute that her ability to read more than anyone else in the class is going to have a long lasting effect. I was like that as a young child and have turned out quite average!

So, basically I guess I'm saying don't worry about DD because she will catch up and being a better reader/writer now doesn't mean much in the long term.

Listen, no one ever writes on their CV: "first in Reception class to count to 20" or "fluent reader by age 3" now do they?? As long as your child is happy and making progress at their own speed then there is no need to worry.

The mantra of the Primary Education boards should be: "Comparison is the thief of joy".

OP your dd sounds like she is doing absolutely fine.
To be honest I don't think reading car magazines in reception is anything to aspire to - if anything it would be a big red flag for me for AS or similar.

Peace you are right of course, I didn't mean to be so negative or sneery. I suppose I would rather my DD was reading stories than car magazines at this age, that's all. Can't even really articulate why!

Mind you PeaceLoveAndCandy, think I'll just celebrate my own child rather than be in awe of / celebrate the 'gifted ones'.

Mebbe PeaceLoveAndCandy.. Mebbe..
Have any of you had 'displays' of home work projects that parents etc are invited to? Awful things if you are trying not to compare.

It is hard to tell sometimes who is just a super speller for example or whose parents have made child do corrected draft or whatever. Not the done thing to ask the child!

Funny story. A boy in my ds class [whose mum could not go to 'Home work celebration'] stood proudly with his work saying 'My Mum spent all night doing this'. When a teacher said 'I am sure you did some Fred' he said 'No Mummy did it all. It was waiting for me when I got up'. He was SO proud of his Mum. [Age 6].

I must be very fortunate because I don't seem to encounter these awful parents at the school gates. Admittedly I have a few mums I chat to but not all that many so perhaps we normal, sensible types have gravitiated together

DD1 couldn't read properly until she was almost 7, but 6/8 months later she's fluent and has caught up and overtaken some of her peers and is now reading chapter books for pleasure rather than struggling to read her school books. She has friends who could read in reception but the parents never bragged. When I commented on how well one of her friends could read her mum actually seemed embarrassed (perhaps she'd been on the receiving end of some negative comments on pushiness or competitiveness).

DS2 who's in reception (and on early stages of Jelly and Bean books) "reads" car magazines - it involves sounding out the names of the vehicles and looking at the pictures - I'll bet her DS is doing similar! It's fan they're applying the (little) knowledge they have to the wider world, but it's hardly evidence of genius...I'd take her with a pinch of salt. Sounds like your DD is just where she needs to be for reception.