Called to a pre-prep's office to be told to "smile" when coming to school in the morning

[Natashik]

My 4-year old daughter that has just started at reception this year in one of the private schools at Wheathampstead was called to pre-prep's head office today to be told that she "has to smile when she comes to school in the morning"... How good could it be?

This was followed by a phonecall, first to me and then my husband! I thought it was an EMERGENCY... No, I was wrong. On the phone I was told to tell my daughter to smile when she comes to school in the morning at the drop-off point and not to show her preference as to whom she wants to walk with to the school's playground.

My daughter is a FOUR year old child! What does the lady on the phone understand about 4-year olds starting a big school? Should not it be them who should put a smile on my child's face at the drop-off point?

Very, very dissatisfied and disillusioned with what is thought to be a very good school in the area.

DD's school has the happy/sad/worried face basket thing, and it is brilliant. DD looks to see if anyone isn't in the happy basket and goes off to find them to see if she can help them. And vice versa. It really encourages a caring sort of class.

OP try not to be offended by this thread. Reading it through I can see that your English is clearly excellent, but no one was criticising it, so you don't need to defend it. But clearly there had been a misunderstanding and people were reasonable to think language would play a part in a misunderstood conversation.

whatevs larry.

if you want to see it

you'll find it

Natahik, I didn't see your post just now. There is nothing wrong with your degree or your English and no one gives a shit about your ethnicity etc.

You were teased because people were trying ot be kind and helpful and you were disdainful in response.

Larry,
Your suggestion of racist bullying is beyond ridiculous. But you seem to be enjoying yourself so perhaps the accusation is one you relish making.

I don't understand how the conversation with the head went ahead. I asked the op to expand. I have asked loads of times actually. But the op continues not to answer.

I still don't understand how someone can say

"your child must smile more" and the conversation just end there.

And yes I teased the op because the answer to a question about how communication could possibly be so shite was greeted with a cv.

Hullygully, are you sure that wasn't a 'use of English' thing? Even excellent non-native speakers can put sentences together in a different way (actually even native speakers of a different form of English - took me a while not to get distinctly offended by 'kindly do the needful' emails from perfectly well intentioned Indian colleagues)

The OP's posts don't seem disdainful to me, just fairly focussed (and I think larrygrylls does have a bit of a point, though I can't see 'racist' in it, it did seem as though the two of you in particular were being really mean about the OP's reference to university - which made plenty of sense in context).

I also don't see any disdain in the OPs posts, they seem perfectly fine to me.

I hope you get it sorted OP

Really mean.
And racist bullying.

Fucking Nora

Perhaps OP's posts didn't smile enough.

Seriously, I think it is very easy to misinterpret as disdain what is in fact just a use of English which, whilst brilliantly fluent, is just not quite the fluency that one has with one's mother tongue.

Would you agree with Calatalie's post, OP?

I just wanted to say that "kindly do the needful" sounds vair rude. I might ask dh to kindly do the needful later

It does, doesn't it (katie)? but apparently not in Indian English. German native speakers can be a bit disconcerting in English too. have had to grow a much thicker skin.....

I think one of the Joanna Trollope books - maybe A Village Affair? - describes the children being required to "shake hands with the teacher, smiling " every morning at their new school. The tone of it implied the feeling that the authorial voice considered it a bit odd and strict, but at the same time all part of teaching the children how to greet someone in a polite fashion in a being-taught-your-manners sort of way.

All a million miles away from my life, however, but thought I'd mention it.

I love Indian English. I get emails begging me to "consider our deepening relationship which we nurture and long to serve." Never fails to get a "yes"

Two things: first, how do people "know" which school she's talking about when she hasn't mentioned it by name? Didn't the OP state it was "one of" the pre-preps in Wheathampstead?
Second: everyone's concentrated on the "smiling" part of the conversation (which, I agree, shouldn't have been had in the first place) but missed out the bit about "choosing whom she walked in with." Does this mean there was some kind of issue about her perhaps being out-of-sorts with her partner, who might have been hurt by her attitude?
Just a thought...

hmm, hully, I think your indians must be suppliers; mine are virtually all (internal) clients, they aren't likely to long to serve me, unfortunately. Or maybe fortunately, thinking about it.

I do like some aspects of it.... two of the English language newspapers here are fairly Indian in their use of the language; criminals are never arrested, apprehended, or anything other than 'nabbed'; buses and taxis only ever 'ply'; could go on for ages. And 'prepone' is a useful little opposite to 'postpone'....

Clam, somewhere I think the OP said it was bigger girls the little ones walked in with, maybe she was being selective among the big girls (understandable for a shy little one, but also understandable that the school would want to discourage) - anyway OP if you have not disappeared, good luck.

clam I only know of one pre-prep in W'h. - for girls. There is another just outside W'h but it's a school for boys, and the Head is male. Plus the OP has confirmed that the school is highly selective - to be honest it's really not difficult to identify it and if I were the OP I would be keen to get this thread deleted as she's also pretty much outed herself.

As an aside, one of my friends is in her 60s and has lived in worked in this country for over 40 years after arriving from India - but has still retained lots of Indian-isms if that makes sense. She has the most beautiful way of speaking, I love to hear her speak. I hope that doesn't sound patronising, it wasn't meant like that .

Don't those funny foreigners have a quaint turn of phrase. Quite endearing, really.

Bingo!

You're too easy Larry.

I think, if you're going to mock Hully's inability to speak Japanese, that you should probably get your Japanese right.

Accuracy isn't something dear larry is overly troubled by, Gin.

clam I recognised which school it was by a. the area disclosed and b. the situation.

It's a school with a fabuloso academic track record but their ehtos really is their road or the high road.

Accuracy is so last year, dahling. It went the way of empathy and a sense of humour.

It's all about knee-jerk reactions and point-scoring now.