Called to a pre-prep's office to be told to "smile" when coming to school in the morning

[Natashik]

My 4-year old daughter that has just started at reception this year in one of the private schools at Wheathampstead was called to pre-prep's head office today to be told that she "has to smile when she comes to school in the morning"... How good could it be?

This was followed by a phonecall, first to me and then my husband! I thought it was an EMERGENCY... No, I was wrong. On the phone I was told to tell my daughter to smile when she comes to school in the morning at the drop-off point and not to show her preference as to whom she wants to walk with to the school's playground.

My daughter is a FOUR year old child! What does the lady on the phone understand about 4-year olds starting a big school? Should not it be them who should put a smile on my child's face at the drop-off point?

Very, very dissatisfied and disillusioned with what is thought to be a very good school in the area.

It is at that school.

My worry is that despite the degree earned at a top uk university, the op has neglected the soft skills so important in today's cut throat economy - particularly for girls.

Judging by many randoms out on the high street when I was growing up, it is compulsory to smile...

It sounds totally nuts but who can say. Very peculiar things happen all the time especially to MN posters

OP you need to talk to them, obviously! Just realised I hadn't actually said that in any of my posts...

Natashik I have answered you on the local board.

I know the school well, one of my friends is a senior teacher there and other friends have their dds there - some of them attended the school themselves. It can be a wonderful school for the right girl, and the academic standards are fabulous ...... but there is a definite ethos of the school knows best and woe betide if you don't agree.

Oh and agree about the admissions staff - whoever said they are ghastly was being kind. Another friend of mine turned down a place for her dd and it was made very clear to her that she was jeopardising her dd's health, happiness and well-being by being so stupid as to even consider an alternative school. When she explained her reasons, she was told "well no wonder, you're not British and I don't expect you understand our educational system."

I'm not sure if I've caught the type of school it is ...is it a 'pre-prep' at all.......

I am not picking on the op

I have asked a couple of perfectly reasonable questions because I don't understand how this scenario played out.

Is there anyone who would not have said 'excuse me head teacher, I don't understand why my dd must smile'
I am just curious.

I don't think anyone is being unkind. I suspect that most people are simply a bit bemused and would like some more information.

I mean if someone came on here and said' "AIBU to be pissed off that a pterodactyl just swooped down and carried off my cat?" most people would have said "WTF? A pterodactyl? You can't be serious!". Because that is how it seems. Totally ridiculous and incredible. Which is why assumptions are being made that it must be a misunderstanding.

I'd put money on this being a misunderstanding between the top UK university educated OP and the "pre-prep's head". An upsetting misunderstanding nonetheless.

Natashik - If I were you I'd ask for this thread to be deleted. There's only one private school in Wheathampstead, so you and they are very identifiable. Especially if you want your daughter to remain at the school. Good luck.

Dear All,

Thank you for all your points regardless of how kind or objective they were.

I have met the head of the school today. She was very polite and understanding. I have also received an apology about "smiling" thing and phone calles. I personally think that the school's head was very courageous and honest to offer me such an apology.

The conclusion is, there was some miscommunication and misunderstanding on behalf of staff. It was thought that somebody had already met with me and had a talk about my daughter settling in school well prior to the phonecalls. The phonecalls and calling to the office were supposed to be the next step.

I sincerelly hope that no miscommunication like that will ever happen in the future, as it does hurt everybody.

I still cannot comprehend how this kind of issue chould have happened in such a good school... Feel very sorry for my daughter and me being in the midst of it...

The situation that has occured to us is probably best explained by the Japanese saying:
"Even monkeys fall from trees" ---> Meaning even professionals/experts do make mistakes.

I will be deleting this thread after people who were curious about the outcome have read my last post. No further comments to follow.

Yes no chance of a misunderstanding when the OP is such an excellent and clear communicator...

OP - I think you should get this deleted too. Will v obvious to school who you are. Oh yes...

I went to what can only be described as an okish (on a good day) university. I hope this sort of misunderstanding never happens at DC's school. I'll have no hope at sorting it out.

I measure out my life in coffee spoons.

No more posts to follow.

Tufty

I come and go in th eroom
but I don't talk of Michalangelo because I don't have an art degree from a top UK uni.

Ooh,I will miss this thread...

Pagwatch and Hully,

Unless I have misunderstood something, the two of you are conspiring to pick on someone merely because she does not write colloquial english.

What a shameful pair of schoolground bullies, shame that some other cowards seem to have joined your gand.

gang, that is

... There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a [smiley] face to meet the faces that you meet ...

larrygrylls you are right, actually. OP I don't mean any offence by joining in the Prufrock thing. It just seemed to apt a line to leave out.

No, we (or I cos Paggy will deny any wrongdoing), am gently teasing her because she has been a little disdainful in her responses to kind posts.

So yes, you have misunderstood something. But hey, get your insults in anyway! Have a good time!

larryfrylls isn't right, Calatalie.

Since when did MN condone racist bullying?

The OP merely mentioned she graduated from a top UK university when she was accused of not being able to understand spoken English. She is clearly Japanese (seeing as she quoted a Japanese proverb) and wanted advice on how to handle a real problem.

Wonder how good your Nihonjin is, Pag and Hully? Know many Kanji or even a bit of Hirogana or Katakana? Sorry, but cannot stand bullying, even the online variety.

Ladies,

What's wrong with my degree? I only wrote about it because you were interested if Anglish (Oooops... English) was my first language...

Any more questions?

Ethnicity? (White, Black, Mixed, or as I have recently heard from a "friendly" native English truck driver - yellow belly?)
Country of origin? (Gosh, yet another "immigrant" claiming "our" benefits. What does Ms May do in her office?)

The point is not about my language ability. Neither is it about good/bad/no degree. How else did you expect me to substantiate the fact that the issue that unfortunatelly occured to me and my child was not because I do not speak English as my mother tongue?

Gently teasing...on and on and on, encouraging others to join in. "Gently teasing"...first defence of a bully when called what he/she is.

Do try not to be such a prat, larry

hth