Meeting with headmistress - how would you handle this?

[donteatyourteawithnoknickerson]

I have a meet tomorrow morning with my daughter's head to discuss an issue the other week. DD (7) was left in the playground at homeitme, alone, with no supervision and without any teacher making sure she was safe.

I was running late from an appointment with DD2's eye consultant and he was telling me all about surgery DD2 is due to have. I got to school maybe 5-10 mins late and all the time I was on my way I was trying to ring school to let them know but the line was busy. When I got there DD1 was alone, crying, in the playground. I was later told that teachers had not checked all children were safe, and had gone back to classroom.

I went straight into office for an explanation. DD1's teacher came out and said DD1 should not have left her (which I have spoken to DD about) and it was DDs fault for not going back to classroom. I refused to accept this and wanted teacher to accept responsibility as the safeguarder of my child. Teacher started to quote policy at me - I responded by saying that you can deviate from policy if the course of action is justified and safer. I said to teacher that i needed to make sure she was safe. Teacher started to cry .

I said that I accepted her apology (which she did do eventually) and would leave it at that. However, DDs other teacher (they have a job share situation) has started to make DD1 hold her hand every time she goes out of school and has actively said to her "so you don't get lost again". I feel this is unreasonable especially since it has only started more than a week after the event. Teacher is asking for DD (according to DD) in front of the whole class and (in my opinion) making a target of her.

I have a mmeting in the morning - how would you handle this?

Mrz - you'd know the answers to those questions if you had read the thread - or even just the OP's posts.

Why do people bother posting when they haven't read the thread? Do they really assume they are the only person to have thought of that?

Donteat I'm glad the meeting(s) went well and it's all sorted now :) I hope the 'hand holding' has come to an end as well.

ChippingIn no I don't know the answers to those questions or I wouldn't have asked them

The OP originally said " I maybe should point out that school policy is that the child (KS1 & 2) is only released into the collecting parents hands " then later said " It isn't particularly "advertised", just word of mouth and usual practice. I haven't ever had sight of the policy, so can't comment verbatim "
then said " I believe the policy says that the teacher takes child to office if no-one there.

I think I need to ask whether the policy is different in KS2 than KS1 - maybe it is and we haven't been made aware of it?

The OP also said DD1 does have some specific learning needs but that doesn't mean that they have been officially diagnosed or that the school is fully aware of those needs. however if you can point me to where my questions are actually answered I would be very grateful [smil]

What a great outcome, OP- well done

I still want to know exactly how late you were. I find the 5/10 minutes hard to believe.

I suspect you have massaged the facts slightly as it takes something to make most teachers cry and for a playground to be empty in 10 minutes.

I agree with both these points.

British parents would hate the school system where I live. When the bell goes at 3pm, all children are released from the classroom and that is it. There is no handover, parents hardly even come into the playground, kids as young as 5 walk home by themselves, many others cycle by themselves without parental supervision. (Different rules in different countries)

At 3.15 the Headmaster does check that children hanging around are taken back to the office but generally most children have disappeared by then.

It is distressing when you are late to pick your child up, but I would always recommend to everyone that you inform your child/ren that sometimes it can happen and be unexpected, and if for any reason you are not there, tell them the procedure of what they need to do, whether it is go back to the office, go to the playground, or classroom, but it needs to be made clear.

Our infant children are collected in the playground but junior children are dismissed from the classroom.

Same happens at ours, mrz.

Ours too.

Imseeingstars - I can guess where you live Brilliant isn't it. It's much better for your sanity than here in the UK. It's getting so nuts here I'm even thinking about going back!

I still have the same British mentality - I collect my children from school, they are not allowed to walk around the streets on their own, but it does worry me when I see all these little children wandering around on their own. Many start from 6 but there are a few families that let their 5 year olds walk to school on their own. Theory being they have no roads to cross. In fact it is mainly the British parents that do hang around at school. The locals think we are mad and should be giving our kids more freedom

It's hard to alter your mindset about these things. But there's no need to worry about the 'little children wandering about on their own' - no harm ever comes to them :) As I said, it's your mind set - the 'locals' have a far healthier approach to life - but it's hard to adjust to when you've lived in the UK.

Glad everything went well and that your meeting was positive. To be honest if I had been treated like you on this board I would have been in two minds about going. Being made to think that you are neurotic, irrational and unreasonable is not a big confidence booster. I am new on Mumsnet; after reading this thread I am not too sure that I want to stay!

We live abroad and my dd used to go to a local school. I had no problem getting hold of a teacher, we were given their mobile phone numbers! I cannot imagine a British school doing this. She now goes to an International School and no mobile number has been given but the receptionist always seems to answer. As a previous contributor said your situation was all about a communication breakdown.