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Primary education

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Original poster

Please please please help me

136 replies

ImFab · 16/02/2011 19:40

DS1 has just lost it big time, screaming, throwing things, etc etc. I calmed him down and got him to write what is wrong. The kids at school have been bullying him again AngrySad. DH and I were in school last week and gave him a list of who has been bullying my son and what he has had to put up with. The deputy head said he was on it and to give him until half term.

Had a nice afternoon, friends round, ds sent to bed for being rude, got up once I came home, not sure what happened but then it all kicked off. He has thrown everything around his room. Turns out they have been bullying him again. He didn't tell anyone as he said there was no point as nothing is done and he wants to die SadSadSad.

I have told him I am going into school tomorrow and I will sort this but I don't know what to do. I can't have him suffer like this anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImFab · 18/02/2011 13:27

I told him I didn't think he could guarantee my child's safety and he said he was said to hear that. He has said he can't guarantee there won't be any more incidents (they don't like to use bullying/abuse) and we accepted that as we felt we were being unreasonable but after what my child said to be the other night..

I am looking forward to having him at home next week and have been keeping very busy today so the time passes quickly. I am going to write down every thing that happens and we can have as much contact with the DHead as we want.

I also need to know how to help my son not be so upset when his friends are bullied and maybe not always stick for them without him thinking he has done wrong.

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MinuteLaidMemoo · 18/02/2011 13:37

Your DS sounds like a lovely, sensitive boy.Smile

""he can't guarantee there won't be any more incidents""

This is totally unacceptable. They are children and he and the rest of the staff are grown adults. If they cannot control the children they shouldn't be in the job. Remind him that he has a duty of care and that at the moment he is failing woefully.

Sorry to sound like I am on my soap box but this attitude makes me furious.

MinuteLaidMemoo · 18/02/2011 13:37

How old is your son fab?

RMCW · 18/02/2011 13:38

Imfab

What happens if there is another "incident"?????

ragged · 18/02/2011 13:53

Oh Fab, a very un-MN-like Hug to you. I have BTDT. I moved my unhappy ("I want to die") DS1 to another school in the end. Where he has been much happier and not had the same problems. Once a kid is unpopular it just becomes trendy to pick on them and very hard for most victims to shake that off; only a new social set off will really get rid of the stigma.

My other DC are still at the same school DS1 used to attend.
DS2 (y2) was being teased by DS1's y6 peers the other day
"You like Winnie-the-Pooh"
"I do not! Why do you say that?"
"Because [DS1 name] used to have a Winnie-the-Pooh bag."

DS1 had the Winnie the pooh PE kit bag until the start of Y3 at latest, more than 3 years ago. DS1 left the school last summer, and these boys have moved onto DS2 as a target... what is that all about? :(.

Original poster
ImFab · 18/02/2011 14:02

He is 9.
He is popular, just not into football, etc.
What is BTDT?
I asked why the parents hadn't been brought in and I got the feeling he needed someone to see it but why can't he take DS's word for it?

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Original poster
ImFab · 18/02/2011 14:03

My husband wrote a letter to the head as he wanted to make it official and she didn't say a word to me when she saw me this morning. I wonder if DS will bring a reply home.

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alegre · 18/02/2011 15:29

Just seen this thread.
Not read all the pages but I really feel for you and your DS. My DS (10) went through a phase recently where other children were being mean to him, calling him names etc etc. It was distressing to see my child so upset and it sort of felt out of my control 'cos it happened at school, away from me.
I talked to his class teacher and the Deputy Head. They also had a chat with DS.
Something was done (really just a stiff talk to the other pupils) and DS felt listened to and cared for by the school.
School can do something, I can't believe your school is saying otherwise. I hope your school replies soon. Another poster suggested Kidscape and I'd contact them if the school is being unhelpful.
All the best

By the way BTDT - Been There Done That

Original poster
ImFab · 18/02/2011 16:09

I asked him if anything had happened today and someone had kicked his friend but nothing had happened to him personally. At least now he is mine for a week and I can make sure he is happy and safe.

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alegre · 19/02/2011 16:15

Horrid news about the friend. What's going on at that school?
Hope you both enjoy your week away from school x

Original poster
ImFab · 19/02/2011 17:09

The staff are aware there is an issue with this year group but imo they should have had the parents in. I am fed up of replacing broken equipment and staff who don't see anything.

DS has been lovely since finishing school. I think we are both calmer.

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