"punishment" in year 1

[makemineaginandtonic]

DD is not settling into Yr1 particularly well and especially dislikes "carpet time" because it's boring and her bum goes numb. Today she was talking (actually reciting a poem from a book she borrowed from school!) during carpet time and as a result was delayed going out to play time and had to spend extra time on the carpet.

I really don't agree with "punishments" such as this, especially when it is keeping her from a physical activity which might actually calm her down and make it easier to sit still!

What other experiences of "punishments" are out there?

should I talk to the teacher and tell her what I think?

Have just asked DS, who's in Year 1 what happens if you talk during carpet time in his class. He tells me that you miss minutes off your playtime. I asked him has he ever missed minutes? He tells me that yes, he has missed one minute since he started Year 1, four weeks ago. Only one minute, I ask? 'Yes Mum, I like going out to play so I havent talked on the carpet again'. Apparently this way of doing things works for some children .

makemineaginandtonic What did you say to your DD when she told you why she was crying?

OP the posters who are being the most sarcastic and unpleasant are teachers - make of that what you will

it is upsetting when your child ges into trouble and is crying, especially early on in a new school year. There is nothing wrong with you feeling upset about it.

However I agree with those who say that she needs to understand WHY it happened and how she can avoid it happening again. It would be unkind to her to give an attitude of "poor dd, how unfair". It doesn't sound like it was unfair this time.

There have been incidences of posters' children experiencing genuinely unfair and unkind treatment from teachers though, and the response from some of the teachers on MN has been pretty much the same.

Greensleeves it's only unpleasant if you can't face the truth and I assure you people are being serious about this issue.

Try a Belgian school OP, they put up with no shit whatsoever! And the parents fully support the teacher (at least the ones I talk to).

My 6 yo is expected to turn up on time every day, behave in class, pay attention, do homework, not talk when supposed to be listening etc etc. Being "spirited" when supposed to be concentrating would not go down well at all.

I have never seen such wonderfully behaved children in my life.

Woah, Greensleeves - I disagreed with the OP. OK, i don't work as a teacher at the moment, but I am teaching staff as a TA. I dpon't think I have been unpleasant. I have disagreed and feel the OP is over reacting and not considering the whole classroom picture here. But unpleasant, no.

I'm not a teacher and I think she is being ridiculous. If one of my kids starts talking over me it makes me go ballistic! It is so, so, so RUDE. And in a classroom situation it also disrupts the learning and enjoyment of ALL the other children. Now, that's unfair, not losing a couple of minutes of playtime. When you take her to school tomorrow, say, 'Ok petal angel, light of my life, when the teacher is talking you must be QUIET, OK?'
(I think children like this are the ones that make cinema and theatre visits a bloody nightmare for others in later life)

Sorry my post was very unclear

I didn't mean that ALL the teachers who had posted on the trhead had been sarcastic

I meant that the posters who had been very sarcastic were teachers

there are some great, supportive, intersting and witty teachers on MN

there are also some who take every opportunity to make bitter, snide remarks about parents and children IMO

sorry for the lack of clarity

I did also say that I think the OP is wrong on this one

but I see no call for the spiteful remarks about the OP and her child

it happens too often on here IMO

As a teacher I really am intrigued as to what the OP would have done in that situation - and I'm not being facetious, I genuinely mean that.

Walk a mile in my shoes and all that . .

I think it was the "reciting a poem from a book she borrowed" bit that wound me up! Like PFB is super clever so normal rules don't apply here kind of thing. If she was reciting Shakespeare or talking about Littlest Pet Shops, it makes not a jot of difference if she is supposed to be paying attention.

coincidentally I spoke to some parents after school about their child who doesn't listen at carpet time (as a consequence doesn't know what to do ) and said if it continued he would have to make up what he missed with me at lunchtimes ... oddly enough they supported this and told him there would be no pocket money if they didn't get a good report from me on Friday

Greensleeves, not defending the unpleasantness but the bitterness is probably because we have an absolute gutful of parents who always defend their DC over us, believe everything they say and refuse to back up our disciplinary procedures.

It makes our job very stressful and I expect that comes out on here - difficult to tell parents in RL what we think as we could get sacked .

OP - what would you prefer?

Scenario 1: teacher instills order (by means of a fairly low level punishment) so that all children can enjoy the same learning experience uninterrupted.

Scenario 2: your child's inability to listen and behave appropriately is ignored to the detriment of the other children in the class.

I agree with the poster who suggested you spend a morning in the school to see how important listening and not ignoring the teacher is when dealing with 30 5yo's.

I do understand that Knitting

lots of us have stressful jobs/stress in our lives, and by GOD do we let it out on here - that's what we're here for

I just think some of the teachers on MN should try and tone it down when dealing with an upset parent

even if they think the parent is being unreasonable, the bitter twisted sarcastic posts make me wince (and I am no wallflower)

I think I am just at how many parents seek to undermine the teacher though!
My experience of UK primaries is a bit limited to when I was at one in the 70s. Parents kept right out of it and let the teachers, well teach! God forbid I got in trouble at school.

My dd's current experience seems very similar. I get to see her work, check that homework is done, and we get a monthly report on behaviour. If I saw signs that maybe she was struggling with the work, I might want to talk to the teacher about how I could best support this, but would never dream of interfering in the discipline of the class!

I shall enjoy reading this thread in full tomorrow. I get to feel smug about this as my DD, 3.3, is according to nursery teachers, an angel at carpet time :o and in fact in every aspect of school so far.

now if she'd only behave as well at home...

I'd explain that the teacher has too many children in the class & some schools have half the amount of pupils per class meaning teachers with more time to not be so over-bearing. With so many children the teacher has to make them cowed. Make them relinquish their autonomy to that of a subdued pack. Explain that not that long ago she would have been physically beaten, probably often.
Tell her of other alternatives to what she endures. Like other countries where formal education starts much later with no detriment to end results. Tell her of the alternative education provided by Steiner schools & Home Educating.
Make her realise that her school may be where she is 'at' right now but it is only one method of education provision which, meantime, she has to try & comply with.
Maybe point out that being made to cry by the teacher isn't really the mark of a good teacher. Finally, mention the ever lower entry qualifications to the teaching profession & explain the reason behind the saying 'if you can't 'do', teach'!

igitur - that is quite frankly bollocks and insulting on many levels!

God igitur, I really, really pity the teacher who has your brats children in their class tomorrow.

Wow, yes igitur, that would be really helpful wouldn't it?

Yawn, yawn, yawn at "if you can't do, teach". Ha ha ha .

Teachers don't set out to make kids cry (at least most don't) but sometimes they cry. Sometimes they cry because they have never ever ever been told no by their parents and their teacher is the first one who's ever said it.

Greensleeves, I know lots of people have stressful jobs, the problem with teaching is because most people have been to school they all think they "know" about teaching and can pass ignorant comments like the one above.

Very tedious!

igitur I bet you recited poems in school too and then blamed the teachers for you turning into a zombie

something told me you were cider drinkers.....

I waited for the influx of gym-toned city types we were promised a few years ago, coming in to improve the gene pool of teaching, give it some zest and testosterone and better degree qualifications and such. Never happened.
Maybe this recession?

??

You'll have to explain that one OP, it's been a long day!