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WWYD - DS(4) pooed himself TWICE today and came home covered in shit

116 replies

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 15/09/2010 17:34

DS has been going for a week of half days and no accidents, though I did tell them he was at nursery. Today was his first full days and as soon as I collected him the smell would have knocked you sideways! I had DS 2 (2) and DS3 (10w) so just went to the car thinking he must have just had an accident, but when I peeled off his trousers he was covered. It was all over his shoes, his socks, on the back of his trousers (you could see it soaked through, like he had sat in a muddy puddle) and once I wiped away the wet stuff, his legs were totally caked in dry poo, it had obviously been there hours. Half a pack of wipes wouldn't even get it off so had to put on his spare jogging bottoms and take him home for a wash (5 min drive). I asked him when he pooed and he said at lunch and when he was running outside. I can understand a missed wee as it can sometimes be harder to spot, but his trousers were soaked in shit and he stank.
They also 'lost' most the parents emergency contact forms (a teacher came out and accused alot of them of not giving them in - which in itself was only spotted after a week! and it transpired they had lost them and found them the next day)
I sent DS back in the pther day to get his indoor shoes and the teacher came back out saying he had to keep one pair there (I said I wanted them home to clean them, but infact I want to keep track of them) and DS blurted out they were lost - £40 and lost within a few days, but have given them the benefit of the doubt that they are just misplaced for a bit - they are very well labelled. They are supposed to have indoor and outdoor shoes, but after the first few days they said they weren't enofrcing it for a while to let them settle in Hmm

Last few are just side issues as it seems to be one thing after another at the moment.

WWYD about DS coming home in this state?

OP posts:
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pinkbasket · 15/09/2010 17:36

I would remove him but then I am a bit emotional today. I would definitely speak to the manager and have strong words. Does the nursery name start with a T?

BooBooGlass · 15/09/2010 17:37

Does he have SN? I would be surprised if teachers were allowed to do anything tbh, though obviously it's terrible for the little man to be sat like that. Is this something he's getting help with?

BooBooGlass · 15/09/2010 17:37

Ah nursery. Sorry, I assumed it was school

MollieO · 15/09/2010 17:59

Doesn't sound good. Frankly I would be livid and expect an explanation. Ds had bowel problems in Reception which led to countless underwear changes on a daily basis for weeks. His teacherd did this and never complained. Ds then developed a phobia about using school toilets so his form teacher made sure they were checked and cleaned if necessary before ds used them.

MollieO · 15/09/2010 18:01

If it is nursery I would repost in the pre-school section as the responses you will get will be based on what is acceptable/expected at school rather than nursery.

booyhoo · 15/09/2010 18:04

i thought this was primary school??

OP i would be having very strong words with whoever was supposed to be teaching/looking after him. this is soooo not on.

SandStorm · 15/09/2010 18:05

I would demand to know why at the very least they didn't call you. Happened to my DD when she started at primary school a couple of times and they rang me every time, very discreetly removing her from class so I could deal with it.

A little understanding goes a long way.

nameymcnamechange · 15/09/2010 18:07

The thread is in Primary Education but the first line of the op does not make sense.

Yes, you need to complain to the school.

pinayangel0912 · 15/09/2010 18:21

quite confuzzled is this is nursery or reception??? but that is just so disgusting!! they could of at least called you or done something!! I would be very peeeeeeeed off!

Blu · 15/09/2010 18:24

It's Reception.

The first line means 'he has had no accidents so far, although I had told them that when he was at nursery he had been having accidents'

pinayangel0912 · 15/09/2010 18:29

surely the teachers or ta or children would of noticed with the smell etc???? i would seriously complain, talk to the teachers and then head... it surely isn't right.

OnlyWantsOne · 15/09/2010 18:32

I would speak to his class teacher, and then the head - infact, prob worth doing this at the same time. In a proper meeting.

MollieO · 15/09/2010 18:36

If he was having accidents at nursery then did you discuss a strategy with his reception teacher in the expectation that the problem would continue? If not then you obviously need to do so. Some schools expect children at that age to clean up themselves.

rebl · 15/09/2010 18:40

That is horrible. Your poor ds Sad. You need to tell the teacher. They really shouldn't have let him sit covered in shit all day. Honestly the smell in their classroom should have been enough to tell them that they needed to clean him up.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 15/09/2010 18:54

Quickly scanned replies, will read in a bit - DS had accidents at Nursery, he is now in reception. I told them about this when we met teachers in July and they said it was fine, sometimes children do and they have spare trousers etc. there, but I will let them know I am willing to come in and change even. He screamed when I changed him (in the car park!) because he was red and sore, it looked like he was chaffing alot of the day because of the dry poo. Am seeing GP soon because I am starting to think he may not be able to help it (unless we get lucky) as it's been over a year of potty training now and he has very few wee accidents.

OP posts:
mrz · 15/09/2010 19:13

Oddly enough on another thread a parent is complaining because "Many primary schools now play down their academic role and over-enhance their social role."
so should teachers be teaching or cleaning up poo?

OnlyWantsOne · 15/09/2010 19:16

I think Mrz that is not the point here, this little boy was covered in shit, does that need some help, if not by a teacher - by an assistant, a dinner lady?

At this age (4) you are teaching children social skills, independance and educational stuff. Yes, like cleaning poo.

silverfrog · 15/09/2010 19:17

mrz, clearly someone at the school should have helped the poor boy clean up.

It is highly unlikely that no-one noticed.

and yet he was left to get sore, and be uncomfortable all day.

I am not sure that the school can be absolved of any responsibility by asking whether teachers should be teaching or clearing up poo.

the boy is young, and in his first week of full time school. he had an accident. to leave him caked in poo all day long is inhumane, tbh.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 19:18

that's awful, really awful. poor him :(

i would go in and talk to them and ask what their policy is for children who are not yet completely toilet traiend

it is absolutely unacceptable for him to be left in soiled clothes all afternoon. disgusting.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 19:19

and even if they didn't want to/couldn't clean him up then they should have called and asked OP to come in and do it.

we were told at ds1's school that they aren't allowed to wipe bottoms. however i think they must be able to for children who ar enot yet trained or who have SN for example...

anyone know law on this??

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 15/09/2010 19:20

So incontinant children cannot go to school...?

I have been thinking I will 'let this one go' - just talk to the teacher in the morning and ask them if they could remind him a little more, and check him from time to time and if needs be I will come in and change him, or leave a kit for them - new trousers, pants, socks, wipes etc. He promised he wouldn't again, but I am really starting to think he can't quite help it... :(

OP posts:
MollieO · 15/09/2010 19:20

Maybe worth checking with the GP on whether he has fetal incontinence (your ds rather than the GP!). Ds had this and it meant he simply didn't know when he needed a poo, it just happened. He ended up on medication to regulate his bowels. Took a few months to sort out.

TotalChaos · 15/09/2010 19:20

as bare minimum school should have called OP even if not prepared to help change him. apart from anything else, 2 poo accidents could be a mild d & v bug and the child taken home

oldienotamoldie · 15/09/2010 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 15/09/2010 19:21

the school policy is to change them, they were fine with it when I let them know in July.

OP posts:
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