Inappropriate gift for 12 yo boy

[alisont1977]

2nd on his xmas list my DS has asked for Philips BG2024. I assumed it was something computer or xbox related but after searching for it on Argos website it is in fact an electric shaver! I talked to him about this on Sunday and he insists he “needs” it for manscaping (I had to google it, but it seems it’s a popular activity). The last time I saw his willy was on holiday at easter and he certainly didn’t need it then!

Even if he does now have pubic hair, it seems wrong that I should be buying him things to cut it all off!

Am I being silly? Is this just what boys do now?

I feel more clean.

Your hairless skin is actually less clean by dint of being hairless

sweet jesus, people - the thread isn't titled 'TELL ME EARNESTLY ABOUT YOUR PUBES'

gosh.

that might be the first time ever I have been accused of oversharing

I think it's moved on as OP lost interest a long while back.

Or did they?

Maybe this is exactly what OP does want to hear all about?

I don't even know. this thread went down the rabbit hole three pages ago. unconfirmed reports that the rabbit hole is hairless.

let's not bring rabbits into this

or holes

indeed

I have no doubt fairenuff is right.
I own an almost 14yo boy and the idea of him asking for some sort of manscaping tool for Christmas from his mum is on the other side of 'yeah right pull the other one'.
Even the over-sharers on the thread were removing hair furtively at this age, not asking their parents for a subscription to 'body hair removal monthly'.
I call bollocks. Big hairy ones. You can swing them if you like.

I remember going to school at 13 and my best friend said to me "Ere look at this!" His pubes were blue. It could be worse.

I wouldn't automatically assume it was sexualised behaviour.
I started shaving mine as a teenager, long before the days of porn and long before I had any sexual thoughts. It's not something I discussed with anyone else. I just didn't like it. Yes it itched when it grew back and I swore I wouldn't do it again, but then it annoyed me again and I got rid of it. Eventually I learned how to do it so I didn't itch growing back.
I've continued to shave, on and off over the years for the past 35 years.

People can come up with their own reasons as to why I and other people shave their pubic hair, but they're wrong if they think it's all because of porn or because I want to look more childlike. I don't mind the look of it and do grow it sometimes, but I love the feeling of it bald - it feels great, just like my legs feel great smooth too.

So it wouldn't worry me unduly, but I would still talk to him to make sure there isn't anything to worry about.

With regard to the internet, most filtering is fairly rubbish and can be bypassed by an average teenager. Keeping the computer in a family room is more effective but also talk with your son about the images that he will inevitably see and about the reality of pornography. Not a lecture about keeping away from it, but a proper conversation so you can get an idea about his understanding and opinions.

I think ive had the most embarrassing conversation of my life! But I have at least found the motivation for all of this…

He was worried “it had stopped growing” and he’d read on yahoo answers that trimming the surrounding area would make it look bigger This conversation should surely have happened on Saturday when he was out with his dad!!

Somehow in all the awkwardness, he managed to get me to agree to this for his birthday (April!). What was I thinking?!? Hopefully by then he will have had a growth spurt and feel differently.

I've only just noticed there are 6 pages of replies to my question!

I have BT netprotect controls but he is a little genius and I'm sure he has probably figured out a way around it if he has looked at porn sites. I unplug the wifi at night but we are so close to a coffeeshop you can sometimes get on their free wifi and strangely they leave it on even when they are closed.

We talked about the laptop and my ipad and I did ask about the history. He denied all knowledge of the empty history at first but when i really pressed he admitted he had deleted it - but because he'd been searching about puberty and penis size. That was enough to silence me on that point!

If anyone knows of a web browser where you cant delete the history do let me know.

That's good it's sorted.

Bt net protect is ok but are you sure you have configured it ok. It's not just porn you need yo block. As long as you don't let him have the password it should be secure.

If he has a smart phone then he needs parental controls on that.

I'd speak to the coffee shop. I'd be a bit if they didn't have something set up to prevent porn being watched on their network.

I'm pretty sure you can restrict the times a specific device can access the Internet with BT - I would set that up.

Sorry, I was getting confused you need BT FAMILY PROTECTION plus not
BT NETPROTECT.

If you haven't already got it then do some research and consider getting it.

He's got an android phone but i have disabled data so it should only work on our wifi.

I'm pretty sure I've set BT up properly - but I'm certain that no matter what I buy or install, there are always ways around it.

If big companies full of IT people can be hacked, I'm sure boys will always find a way to look at porn online.

I'm over the embarrassment of our talk already, and everything was fine this morning before school. I actually feel good that we talked

BT family protection is free

Here is a list of its feature (copy and pasted)

BT Parental Controls help keep your children safe online. Once activated, all devices connected to your BT Home Hub will have content filtered to a restriction level that you set. These filters will also apply if you use your BT ID to log in to BT Wi-Fi.
The key features of BT Parental Controls:
Protects all devices (PCs, laptops, tablets, iPads, handheld devices, smartphones) that connect to your home internet connection.
Three predefined filter levels (strict, moderate and light)
Personalise your own filter levels
Works when using your BT ID on UK BT Wi-fi hotspots
No software required
Simple set-up
'Always allow' specific sites
'Always block' sites that you feel are inappropriate.
Set up homework time - for extra peace of mind when children are doing their homework.

That's good it's sorted.

Unfortunately kids can always access porn as plenty of their friends parents won't have bothered disabling their kids phone data or intalling parental controls on their phones. Some parents are really careless about Internet safety.

Filtering does bugger all - any browser that has a data saving or compression feature will bypass it by default - it is incredibly easy to get around.

Thanks ClancyMoped, it is BT parental controls that I have on the account. I will double check the settings though.

I agree ItsAllGoingToBeFine, weren't teenage boys responsible for having TalkTalk?

As long as you don't let him have the password it should be secure.
No, that just makes it a bit more difficult.

Unfortunately kids can always access porn as plenty of their friends parents won't have bothered disabling their kids phone data or intalling parental controls on their phones. Some parents are really careless about Internet safety.
Parental controls don't stop kids from accessing porn, and they don't need to go round to friends houses either. People place far too much faith in parental controls as a way of ensuring their children don't access inappropriate content.

People place far too much faith in parental controls as a way of ensuring their children don't access inappropriate content.

This parental controls may^ stop a 5 year old accidentally accessing unsuitable content (although filters are never 100% and if there browser compresses data it will have no effect at all). They will not stop a ten year old with the ability to Google.