Inappropriate gift for 12 yo boy

[alisont1977]

2nd on his xmas list my DS has asked for Philips BG2024. I assumed it was something computer or xbox related but after searching for it on Argos website it is in fact an electric shaver! I talked to him about this on Sunday and he insists he “needs” it for manscaping (I had to google it, but it seems it’s a popular activity). The last time I saw his willy was on holiday at easter and he certainly didn’t need it then!

Even if he does now have pubic hair, it seems wrong that I should be buying him things to cut it all off!



Am I being silly? Is this just what boys do now?

[christinarossetti]

What's his explanation for why he clears his lap top history?

[LaurieLemons]

I don't think it's inappropriate. Possibly TMI but I remember shaving as soon as I got hair anywhere, doesn't necessarily mean he wants anyone to see it.

[AnyFucker]

it doesn't necessarily mean

can we afford to brush this is off as "not necessarily" with such a young child and a known habit of deleting internet history ?

really ?

no wonder so many teens get themselves in a right pickle playing around with their sexuality before they are mature enough to handle it. There are a lot of predators out there just waiting to exploit them

call me alarmist if you wish...but in this particular scenario, I would be digging deeper and not minimising any of it

[JumpandScore]

I don't think a child uncomfortable with his first public hair would either 1)have reached exactly what shaver he wants or 2) refer to it as manscaping

That coupled with a 12yo hiding his Internet history makes me think there is real cause for concern

[AnyFucker]

I would recommend that OP speak with CEOPS and see if they brush it off as nothing to worry about

[fuzzpig]

Agree with those saying it is disturbing :(

[JumpandScore]

I keep coming back to this, which is annoying because I suspect there might be a problem with the thread. Assuming there's not, the small amount of info here raises several red flags for me because of all the cp training I've done. I find Mt very disturbing that so many want to dismiss it as

[JumpandScore]

....perfectly fine. It's just not. All may be ok with the child but there's lots the needs checking out before anyone can dismiss this as normal.

[SealSong]

He is 12. He is hiding what he is accessing on the internet by deleting his browsing history. He wants to shave his pubes in a way often associated with the porn industry. It's not rocket science to conclude that he is watching porn, and that maybe his wish to 'manscape' is influenced by that.

OP you need to get a better grip of your son's internet access at home (and on his phone, other devices etc). As well as the inappropriateness of your son's request and where that wish may have come from, you are seemingly allowing him free reign to access any inappropriate internet content that he may wish to access, or indeed access inadvertently or be exposed to by others.
You need to take control of this situation.

[BertrandRussell]

There are a lot of people who have a vested interest in disassociating removal of pubic hair from porn. Not sure why.

[NerrSnerr]

Bert When I was 12 I removed all my pubic hair. I hated it. I had never seen porn (and probably had limited awareness of what porn was) and I had no desire to show anyone. My friends and I didn't discuss our pubes. It was a personal decision in isolation. It may not be the case with this boy, how could we know? But for some it is nothing to do with porn.

[Fairenuff]

For some. For others it is. Also he may have been encouraged by someone on line. He may be exchanging pictures online. We don't know.

Why would he delete his history if he had nothing to hide?

[BertrandRussell]

Sadly, there have always been children who find puberty troubling. Isn't the answer to find ways to make them feel positive about bodily changes, rather than encourage them to modify their bodies- even in minor ways? I had a friend who bound her emerging breasts because she hated them- should she have been encouraged to do that?

The fact remains that not very long ago, women were campaigning against compulsory shaving on being admitted to the labour ward, and it was considered a major triumph when the medical establishment relented and stopped doing it, and now women are posting on mumsnet actually ashamed at the thought of a midwife seeing them with pubic hair.

[Fairenuff]

Shame OP's not around to join the discussion.

[BertrandRussell]

So why do you think that in the course of my lifetime the change has happened?

And I am amazed that people can be a) so very sure of their motivations as young teenagers and b) so very sure that they are not influenced unconsciously by societal pressures. I can't, on either count.

[wallywobbles]

My 11 year old DD shaves her pits and had a go at her pubes. I found out because she was scratching. I advised against it quite firmly, seems to have stopped. In her case it was definitely not sexual, she is fairly strong opinions on this subject - just experimenting I think, but definitely worth a discussion. I would want to know more about his manscaping plans.

[exWifebeginsat40]

please don't waste CEOPS' time with this. what do you think they will do?! in all seriousness, you want OP to tell CEOPS that her son wants a razor?

OP, do what parents do, which is talk to your son. if you are worried, speak to your GP.

this CEOPS knee-jerking has to stop. they do vital work and will be totally overwhelmed if every reaction is to call them. it's not counselling, it's crime reduction!

[needastrongone]

I agree re the OP being around.

It absolutely boils down the individual situation. It may be sinister, but it may not be.

DD was shaving for hygiene at that age, nothing more, nothing less.

DS has also, albeit at an older age, accessed porn the internet, as has all his mates. I won't go into the details of how I know all his mates have too, but I know they have. These are all decent, well brought up young lads, from affluent backgrounds in the main, not that this matters to be fair. They were all doing it due to hormones effectively, with no chance to physically do anything about it.

DH sat down with DS and explained that the images/actions he saw when accessing porn were not 'real', they did not constitute a normal or equal relationship or how life really is. DS already knew that, to be fair. Was mortified, it's not something you wish to discuss with a parent really.

I am minimising this. This may not be the case here, it absolutely may not be the case here. The OP knows here own child. And the circumstances involved.

[Helenluvsrob]

Exwife can I also please say stop the " call th GP" knee jerk reaction!

Child wants a razor and might want to shave pubic area really isn't a GP issue!

[exWifebeginsat40]

helen I suggested the GP if OP is worried about her son's sexual development. as a rational alternative to calling the police...

point taken though.

[ouryve]

My 12 year old was a little alarmed when hair started to appear and we caught him smuggling scissors into the bathroom. After a little chat and a reminder about how normal body hair is when you grow up, he became a lot more relaxed about it.

A far cry from researching and requesting a particular brand of shaver. I owul worry about what he's been reading.

Windows has inbuilt filters, btw - just requires him having a non-admin account on his laptop and the admin account being password protected.