Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Inappropriate gift for 12 yo boy

161 replies

alisont1977 · 04/12/2015 09:37

2nd on his xmas list my DS has asked for Philips BG2024. I assumed it was something computer or xbox related but after searching for it on Argos website it is in fact an electric shaver! I talked to him about this on Sunday and he insists he “needs” it for manscaping (I had to google it, but it seems it’s a popular activity). The last time I saw his willy was on holiday at easter and he certainly didn’t need it then!

Even if he does now have pubic hair, it seems wrong that I should be buying him things to cut it all off!

Am I being silly? Is this just what boys do now?

OP posts:

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 06/12/2015 14:21

I would be very disturbed at this request from my ds aged 13!

I don't think it is the norm for boys of that age to be thinking about 'manscaping' and the like, I really don't. That and the deleting of laptop history would raise massive concerns for me.

Removal of pubic hair has become so much more the norm than when I was growing up in the 70's. For all those saying it's a hygiene issue, that may be so but the seed is planted by what they see around them. Societal and peer influence.

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 15:05

"DD was shaving for hygiene at that age, nothing more, nothing less"

How can you be so sure? What put the idea in her head that it was more hygenic?

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 15:09

And still nobody has been able to explain how in my lifetime we have gone from women feeling triumphant about forcing the medical establishment to stop compulsory shaving on entering the labour ward to women being ashamed of going into the labour ward with pubic hair.........

Does nobody think that's at all interesting?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JumpandScore · 06/12/2015 15:15

Sadly, some of the posters on this thread remind me of girls who run off with their teacher "of their own free will". Of course they do, after they've been conditioned to think that way.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 15:27

"Maybe you should ask someone who feels ashamed Bert"

Sorry, yes. That was an unhelpfully polarising way of putting it. What I meant was why, in my lifetime, has it gone from having pubic hair being the norm to not having pubic hair being the norm?

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 15:29

Lets face it, no pubic hair looks better and feels better... Sorry for TMI, but who wants dry bits of piss or period blood attached to those hairs? Ew.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 15:43

I don't have blood and piss on my pubic hair.

Bubbletree4 · 06/12/2015 15:44

OP I would sit him down and ask him to answer a number of questions honestly. Once you have got the answers and believe they are honest you can make a decision to buy it.

Questions along the lines of (and yes I would ask them really directly)

-where did you get the idea of hair removal from, is it what your friends say they do, have you seen porn with it removed or do you have your own personal reasons?

-are you unhappy about the changes that puberty brings/do you need any info/help

-do you want to remove the hair for yourself or for someone who might see, like boys in changing rooms or a partner?

-are you aware that your generation is called "generation porn" for good reason

If he can't discuss it rationally and calmly then I wouldn't get the razor. That said, I believe (although I am too old to know for sure ) that this sort of stuff is actually common amongst young men.

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 15:44

So every time you take a pee, you have a shower/bath? I don't think so and there will be some particles and that's gross, IMO

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 15:50

There will be just as many "particles" on you skin!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 16:01

Honestly, I don't care if girls wanna keep hair, or guys... It is "natural" but I personally find it gross for the reasons I said - I think it traps more odour-for example, if a girl got sweaty, the sweaty 'smell' would stay absorbed into her head hear until she washes, whereas a bald man wouldn't, it would wipe off... Just my personal opinion, hence I would have no problem my 12 year old wanting to shave

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2015 16:24

And you're not even remotely interested in why it's become a "thing?"

Incidentally, why don't you remove the hair on your head if you think it's smelly?

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 16:28

I would remove it, but I think hair on my head looks better... And if I thought pubes looked better, I'd keep them too

JumpandScore · 06/12/2015 16:54

That's exactly it though isn't it? You've been conditioned to believe a woman should have hair on her head and none between her legs, that's why you think it looks better that way

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 16:56

No, I just personally like the look of it bare... Honestly, maybe it is because of society - I always saw my mum had no hair when I was little, so maybe that's why... Maybe it's because I've read on shaving gel, razors, etc. About it, maybe it's because I've seen porn, who knows - but o don't believe it's because of that... I just like it and honestly, if I can bare it with a little hair, I'll have it with a little hair, it's just how I feel.

Willdoitinaminute · 06/12/2015 17:01

It's become a 'thing' the same way most body fashions become a 'thing'. The cosmetics industry have actively promoted hair free body parts so they can keep on making their billions.
As for why young boys may be tempted into extreme exfoliation then they have all been lead to believe that your willy looks much bigger without the fuz! At 12yrs old the size thing matters. As it does at any age and making the most of what nature has decided to give you is paramount.
Unfortunately Google leads you into some dark and frankly weird corners of the Internet in pursuit of the solution to whatever problem you have.
I agree that this would ring alarm bells if my DS11 was to ask for this at Xmas. Fortunately he has an old fashioned dad who happily parades his body forest so that DS sees this as normal.

ouryve · 06/12/2015 17:05

but who wants dry bits of piss or period blood attached to those hairs?

I tend not to make a habit of going round covered in dried period blood or piss, but it's less unhealthy to have it kept away from my skin by the nice, springy hair that grows there than be plastered to skin that's inflamed and damaged by shaving or waxing.

ohtheholidays · 06/12/2015 17:09

It's not something any of my 3DS have ever done OP and they're 14,17 and 19(nearly 20)and they do all tell me everything(have told the oldest before now he doesn't have to go into so much detail all the time for me)

I think if it was me I'd ask him if there's a paticular reason he wants to do it and I agree shaving is usually a bloody nightmare and can leave you really itchy.

SoupDragon · 06/12/2015 17:13

Lets face it, no pubic hair looks better and feels better... Sorry for TMI, but who wants dry bits of piss or period blood attached to those hairs? Ew.

Let's fact it, no pubic hair makes your fanjo look like that of a pre-pubescent girl. Who wants to look like an underage girl? Ew.

Yes, I can make stupid insulting comments too. The truth is I couldn't care less what anyone chooses to do with their public hair and don't make judgements based on it.

I would be uncomfortable with buying a 12 year old a razor for shaving his nuts.

Bluesicles · 06/12/2015 17:22

I think it's weird all you think about is a prepubescent girl

Gatekeeper · 06/12/2015 17:25

girl or boy- I can't imagine why you think it looks better looking like a plucked chicken.A trimmed V shaped mound of pubic hair looks adult and sexual and attractive

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7