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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

DS 10 doesn't seem to realise/care that he's overweight

120 replies

CarolDW · 27/01/2015 21:35

My 10 year old boy is overweight, he's 4"5 and weighs 6st7lbs. He really does look quite fat especially when compared to other boys at his school. The problem is that he doesn't seem to realise that he is overweight or that it is a problem, he just seems completely oblivious to it and I don't know why. Should I try talking to him about it or should I just give him a hint about it ? I'm sure someone will know what I should do :)

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mrscumberbatch · 27/01/2015 21:59

If he's happy leave him be.

Don't knock his confidence. Maybe just make some changes at home foodwise/activity wise or encourage a new hobby to get him out and about.

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:06

I'm just worried that one day someone else will say something about it that will upset him

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ClashCityRocker · 27/01/2015 22:08

Well, who feeds him?

I mean, does he need to 'realise'? Is it something you can take control of?

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ClashCityRocker · 27/01/2015 22:09

Sorry that sounded like a dig, it wasn't meant like that.

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:11

I feed him but I don't know how long it will take to try and help him with the problem or how well he will respond to my attempts to change his diet and lifestyle

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SavoyCabbage · 27/01/2015 22:12

Can't you do something to help him without him? My dd is 11 and what she eats and the after school activities she does are still in my control at the moment.

I do the shopping. She makes her own packed lunches but she does a meal plan so we have the things she wants in the house. And I make her dinner.

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 22:12

IME some boys grow out around the belly before they grow upwards. I wouldn't worry about this to be honest, I would have a look at what he's eating though and encourage him to cut back the snacks if that's what he does.

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SavoyCabbage · 27/01/2015 22:14

I've a friend who is helping her ds lose weight before high school. She is taking him swimming a few times a week after school and at weekends and she is getting up 10 minutes earlier (which is killing her ) and they are going for a brisk walk together before school. He already walks to school but it's really close. He has lost quite a lot of weight.

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ClashCityRocker · 27/01/2015 22:15

Well, I wouldn't make a big thing about his weight, personally.

Slow and steady improvements are the key. What's his diet like? How active is he? I do agree that boys tend to grow out before growing up.

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pepperrabbit · 27/01/2015 22:17

Can you try to encourage more activity for all of you and at the same time reduce the number of snacks in the house? Mine know I don't let them have biscuits after school, so they eat apples. (I miss biscuits though!)
A sort of family healthy living thing as opposed to a "just DS" thing?

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:20

LadySybil- I thought this might be the case at first because my 15 year old had a little bit of a belly when he was 10(but he's skinny now) but I don't think this is the case because he's a lot fatter than his brother was at his age and it's not just his belly which is too fat.

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 22:26

What's his diet like? Portion sizes? Exercise out of school or a couch potato?

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:30

His diet is pretty poor, he eats a lot, and he is the definition of a couch potato

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Starlightbright1 · 27/01/2015 22:31

I also wouldn't make an issue with him about it...Why do you think he is overweight ? This is something you can help him with without the weight issue.

Whether it is a change in diet or encouraging activity

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Coyoacan · 27/01/2015 22:35

I definitely wouldn't make any comment about his weight, Carol. Could you slightly reduce portion sizes and surreptitiously cut back on any unhealthy food he eats. Gently, gently. And find a way of increasing his physical activity.

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Starlightbright1 · 27/01/2015 22:36

I think you can change this at ten, change what you cook increase the veg on his plate if he is a hungry boy, Look at what you can do to get him moving whether it is going for a family cycle, walk, game of bowls what ever will work.

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 22:41

There's your problem, sorry. I agree with everyone else, change his diet slowly and don't make a huge deal of it. Encourage him to get active, swimming once a week, a walk to the park, walk to school for example. Buy less snacks and replace them with fruit. No junk food, nothing fried and no fizzy pop either.

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anothernumberone · 27/01/2015 22:41

Find the elusive activity that he will enjoy. Study after study is showing that exercise is key to keeping weight down long term. It is very likely that our dd1 has dyspraxia which makes her dislike understatement many activities that demand good coordination. We have persisted to find stuff she likes. She is not overweight but I am so I am determined to encourage activity.

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:42

I still don't understand how he hasn't realised that he is overweight, there are often situations which make it obvious that he is too fat but he never notices or realises.

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 22:43

My son's dyspraxic too, anothernumberone. He can manage a bike though but anything that involves running... nada. He does archery at school though.

He probably does notice, Carol, he doesn't want to say though.

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:48

My worry is that someone at school might call him fat and I don't want him to be upset or suddenly worried about his weight.

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 22:49

Time to sort it now then. What sort of things does he eat and I'll give you some replacement ideas

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defineme · 27/01/2015 22:54

I am usually tactful on here, but quite frankly I think you are very mixed up in your thinking here op!
You should be thrilled he hasn't noticed, do you honestly think if he did he would put himself on a diet? What would actually happen would bethe start of a terrible relationship with food, low self esteem etc.
I have 10 year old twins, one is a sporty bean pole, the other would sit on the sofa out of choice, but she doesn't get that choice because we swim, bike, run, walk the dog, walk to school, drama class, hike, ice skate...some of that with me, some in classes.she would also eat fried food, mayonnaise and biscuits everyday givena choice but they are an occasional treat and she knows why thst kind of food is bad.
Take chsrge before he realises.

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CarolDW · 27/01/2015 22:58

He eats a lot of fast food (particularly Mcdonalds, which he loves)
He likes cakes and biscuits and chocolate- one of the main issues I think
He loves pizza and pasta and eats a lot of food like that

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LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 27/01/2015 23:03

Blimey, he's eating shit, sorry!

Get rid of the cakes, biscuits and chocolate. Just don't buy them. Buy fruit, make a carrot cake. Make a pizza, don't buy one as they are usually packed with salt. Pasta is just carbs. No fast food. If you can cook it yourself from scratch then do that. Fresh, not fast. Do it slowly and work it up.

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