DS 10 doesn't seem to realise/care that he's overweight

[CarolDW]

My 10 year old boy is overweight, he's 4"5 and weighs 6st7lbs. He really does look quite fat especially when compared to other boys at his school. The problem is that he doesn't seem to realise that he is overweight or that it is a problem, he just seems completely oblivious to it and I don't know why. Should I try talking to him about it or should I just give him a hint about it ? I'm sure someone will know what I should do :)

That's what I thought willow, I spent quite a bit of time posting on one just before Christmas.

I agree with lots of posts here. DONT mention his weight to him or alert him, it is a glorious thing that he is happy in himself and not self conscious. However I would quietly slash potion sizes gradually over a few weeks, start introducing fun family activity walking, swimming, cycling and ask him what sport he would like to try and sign him up. Let him choose what he would like to do. I would keep Mcdonalds to treats only and slowly replace the cakes and biscuits for low calorie cereal bars (some are delicious) rice cakes etc. If left, this will become a major problem for him eventually. Best to deal with it now whilst you can so easily and under the radar, and save years of potential anguish and/or bad health. Good luck ~ he sounds like a lovely lovely boy so you are clearly a great parent.

Okay, lots of junk food then - his diet is why he is overweight.

What about asking for the help of a dietician? (you can be referred through your GP)

She /he will help you make changes.

How is your confidence in the kitchen?

I would suggest things like roast chicken, jacket potatoes and peas, beans on toast, tuna pasta with sweet corn.

Pasta is a lot better health wise than pizza.

I'd still let him have a small cake for a dessert if he wants one, a mini roll or a wagon wheel etc. he'll only resent it and rebel if you take all his treats away.

Maybe gave mcdonalds once a week?

Recently I've been trying to improve his diet. So today he has eaten:

Breakfast: Bowl of Porridge and a glass of Orange Juice

Lunch: Fish & Chips with peas, Chocolate sponge cake, large cookie.

Dinner: Bowl of pasta with bolognese sauce

Snacks: Walkers Baked (Cheese & Onion) , Twirl, Milkshake.

I've also tried to reduce the frequency of McDonald's visits, he went there twice last week, which is much better than the usual 4 times.

This cannot be serious. No wonder there is an obesity epidemic if people are this deluded.

You are killing him (and yourself more than likely) with "kindness".
The snacks- crisps, chocolate, cake and biscuit today, and a milkshake. Only twice to McDonald's this week?! This is crazy.

There seems to be a misconception (albeit an understandable one) that I am overweight too, I'll just clarify by saying that I am not overweight and my husband isn't either. My other child is 15, and his diet is actually quite sensible and balanced. My 10 year old has different eating habits to the rest of the family, and prefers foods which are generally considered 'unhealthy'

I know his diet is shocking, but what do you expect when he's overweight, there's too many people who seem amazed by the fact that an overweight child has a poor diet.

Fruit and vegetables. I don't want to tell you off, though you probably deserve it, but why aren't you giving him fruit and vegetables for snacks? If he doesn't like them, fine. He doesn't need a snack at all at his age. He also doesn't need to go to McD's twice a week. Once a month would be plenty.

His diet is shocking but it isn't his fault. It is your fault.

A 10 year old is not in control of their diet, a 10 year old is not the person who does the shopping or meal planning or cooking, a 10 year old is not the one who is buying McDonalds. It doesn't matter that he prefers unhealthy food you just shouldn't be giving him them.

To be fair I don't think people are amazed that an overweight child has a bad diet. I think they are amazed that you are saying 'omg, he has a terrible diet and he's really fat. Why doesn't he know?
' Rather than 'omg he has a terrible diet. I am going to change it today'

It is entirely your responsibility but you are talking about this as if it is his fault. You buy the crisps and the chocolate bars and give them to him. It really is that simple.

You really don't seem to be getting that people are telling you to change his diet.

His diet would make grown adults fat - you need to stop it and take control of it.

You seem to be placing it all at his door. Don't have junk in the house and feed him better then you should see improvements. I was a fat 10 year old - I am horrified at the photos now. But my mother always cooked healthy food - I just snacked and ate too much. Once I realised and controlled my portions things changed. The difference is my dm didn't shovel junk down my mouth. I would never let my child get to that stage.

What primary school where allows kids to go back for seconds??
What kid would prefer to go back for 2nds and not go out to play with his friends instead?

Can you speak to the school and ensure they don't give him seconds or both cake and cookie at lunchtime?

Your changes to his food intake, while an improvement, are still a long way from a healthy diet. On the snack front, you could offer ONE biscuit when he gets home from school, then it's fruit and nothing else. If he's hungry he'll eat the fruit.

I completely understand I need to change his diet, but I want to do it gradually, I can't just suddenly start giving him half the amount of food that he currently eats because he needs to get used to eating less and I don't want him to start thinking that he's on a diet because he's overweight, i'm now aware that it's better for him not to be aware that he's overweight.

He must earn a decent amount for a 10yo to be able to buy himself food like that. I seem to remember £5 a week at 15 years old!!

Perhaps you could talk to his employer and ask that (for health reasons) his salary is paid to you and then you (as the grown up) can make the adult decisions about what he eats. Rather than, y'know, him driving himself to McDonalds and the supermarket to buy his pizza. And milkshakes. And crisps.

It's very easy to engage a child with a dietary change if you are positive about it and, preferably, do it as a family.

My DD had to exclude dairy, gluten, soya and nuts aged 11.
We started referring to junk as junk and stopped having it in the house. We bought lots of fruit and decent snack. We got her involved in cooking - for starters if she wanted a cake we had to bake it.
We just did it without it being about what she couldn't have but about eating much better things that make her feel great , full of energy and strong.

The better his diet the easier it will be to get him to be active. If you eat shit all you want to do is sit down

I think he does know. I know for a fact that year 5's and year 6's are VERY aware of weight.

Are you taking the mick? You're trying to improve your child's diet and you've given him fish and chips, cake and a cookie all at dinner?

*Recently I've been trying to improve his diet. So today he has eaten:

Breakfast: Bowl of Porridge and a glass of Orange Juice

Lunch: Fish & Chips with peas, Chocolate sponge cake, large cookie.

Dinner: Bowl of pasta with bolognese sauce

Snacks: Walkers Baked (Cheese & Onion) , Twirl, Milkshake.

I've also tried to reduce the frequency of McDonald's visits, he went there twice last week, which is much better than the usual 4 times.*

Breakfast: Porridge is fine, juice is fine, add some fruit like a banana or some berries or an apple.

Lunch: Fish is fine, peas, no chips, no cake, no cookie. Give him sweet potato wedges or a baked potato instead.

Dinner: Bowl of pasta is fine but change it to wholewheat, it tastes the same anyway. Make sure portion isn't too big.

Snacks: If he really, really has to have a snack then a funsize bar of chocolate or the bag of baked crisps aren't the worst things in the world. Get rid of the milkshake.

He doesn't need to go to McDonalds twice a week. Would once a month not be enough? How about going the last Friday of every month instead?

Where's the veg? Where's the fruit? Where's his fibre? No wonder you describe him as a couch potato, he's on such a bloody sugar high at lunch that he'd be ready for a sleep come 4pm.

If he really is getting that kind of crap food (and seconds) in school then you need to get a couple of parents together and go to the Head teacher and sort that out. ASAP. Because if it is the truth, I'm sure there are others who would like to see that changed, I'd be on the warpath if my child came home from school and told me he had eaten chocolate cake, chips and two burgers.

If this isn't a wind-up you seriously need to sit down and re-read this thread. Your son is eating what can only be described as food-like substances, and you wonder if you should tell him he's fat?

Bizarre thread. You feed your 10 year old loads of shit food and you want him to realise he's fat and sort his own diet out!

You don't need to put him on a diet, just stop giving him junk, stop going to macdonalds and feed the poor kid some vegetables.

You start multiple threads about your 4ft 5in, ten year old son who has a 39in waist asking for weight loss advice.

And then you feed him shit. Poor boy.

He's 10, and he's fat because you are enabling him to be so.
You are allowing him to eat a very unhealthy diet, how is he paying for maccyDs twice a week? You don't seem to have mentioned exercise at all, apart from what he might do in school.
Have you been to the GP or the nurse at the surgery to ask for help and advice? He seems rather short for 10.
Perhaps the taunting he'll get at secondary will be the only thing that might work and inspire him to change his diet, as you seem to be little help to him.