Anyone had problems with pre school? I think they are trying to label my son as autistic

[roseability]

I am pretty sure my ds keyworker was suggesting my ds is on the autistic spectrum

We are confident this is not the case, as at home and at family functions he shows no signs

We had a meeting today with the deputy head of the school (who oversees the nursery) as we had some concerns about how this has been handled

Does anyone else have experience of this?

I honestly think you shoud have this thread deleted. I have been there is the worrying, i have been there with the nursery making, what I felt at the time, "false accusations" and I understand.

If you don't need the SN forum in future, great! All is well. if you do, then, I odn't know about you, but I would feel a bit silly coming back after having a tantrum.

So ditch it. I'm sure that as the majority of posters here have children on the spectrum, we'd all back you up with MNHQ if you wanted us too (I would anyway)

ava i am fine stop implying that i am losing it

i was angry when it was suggested my son should be felt sorry for. i love him dearly and you must understand my dilema when i have such cnflicting advice

i am confused and upset and yes angry at some posts

ut not losing it!

i can eat humble pie coldtits, i know my faults - i wouldn't feel too silly as i would look back and understand i was a very stressed mum who was worried about the most precious thing to her

i can't sleep

Why don't all the people telling the OP to bugger off all just bugger off themselves?

this is HER thread!

Blimey, I have followed this thread from the start and am so surprised that advice from posters I have admired for years for their calm and wise advice is being met with such hostility.

Fwiw, I have no personal experience of ASD but have a dd who was diagnosed with severe glue ear and hearing loss in Y3. When I look back now, all the signs were there but no-one picked up on them as dd developed great coping strategies and just came across as a bit dreamy and not very bright.

I really really wish that someone had flagged up a concern, however badly. It would have saved dd so much grief, pain, upset and extra work to catch up. I k ow this is a totally different condition but the upshot is the same - early assessmentwould really help IF there is a problem.

Look - an assessment is the quickest and easiest route out of the misery.

he won't know he's being assessed. he will play with some toys, and look at a book or two, and be asked some questions about friends, or birds, or whatever else he happens to want to talk about.

these people are expert, absolutely expert at not distressing children.

Then if, as you are very sure will happen, you are given the all clear, you can drop the matter from your mind entirely.

All I would say is to reiterate what other more experienced posters have said here that the process for diagnosis (either ASD or confirmation of NT) is not quick. Obviously it is quicker to have NT confirmed but it still takes time unless you are in an area that is unusually quick.

From hearing tests to paed referral/assessment and then diagnosis took two months and that was with a GP who personally knew the professionals ds saw and pulled every string going. If we hadn't been able to benefit from those connections (eg if our GP was just a normal GP) then the process would have been considerably longer.

but many of you mention the stigma which is terrible but people are human

lets say he is getting assessed when he starts schhol - i worry this will proceed him and the teachers
perceptions

will it hurt to wait a few weeks

I honestly cannot understand the whole thing about 'stigma' and 'labelling' etc. It is all bullshit. Your child's needs - his real needs - are all that matters. Everything else is bullshit.

i am not really hostile goldenticket

just confused when everyone i trust and love says don't assess yet he is fine

i got angry at some remarks yes

If you don't go through the preschool, and instead go through your doctor, the school have no right to access his medical record, and they have no need to know.

I went the medical route for a different reason, and was actually very surprised to find out what I was asked for permission for to share with the school. basicaly, it was everything pertinant to my son's diagnosis. If I had so chosen (which i didn't, because that isn't the way to get an autistic child's needs met), the school would be under the impression that ds1 is naughty and odd. because his behavior at school can be 'naughty and odd'. but they wouldn't know why because there is actually (very surprisingly IMHO) no obligation to tell them

my dh won't accept anything is wrong, my mil, fil, aunts, uncles

the thing is i am not outraged at the suggestion. he is still my ds

why would you not want the school to know about his needs?

why do they only show symptoms at nursery?

your family all have an emotional attatchment to your son and will not want o accept that he has something 'wrong' with him ( i am not saying ASD is something wrong but some people see it this way)

I think also that the poster who said that the NN probably found it difficult to express exactly what her concerns were had it spot on. She's raised it badly and unprofessionally, no-one on this thread is disputing that. But in her crass and crap way, she could have saved you a great deal of trouble in the future. She could be someone you look back on and feel grateful to. Why don't you yourself go in and observe your son at nursery as a starting point? It may well surprise you (a) how differently children can behave at nursery and (b) how your son stacks up against his peers.

i am not sure he has needs yet boo

i mean you all seem very sure about my ds, do you know something i don't about how this works

Asc can take a long time to diagnois, if you don't want him assessed don't.
He sounds as if he's doing well, you are happy with his development, go with your gut feeling..

Lot's of children (& adults) have autistic traits, they are not deemed to have asc.

A meeting with the key worker may be useful to discuss your dissatisfaction with the way you were approached etc.