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Preschool education

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Original poster

Anyone had problems with pre school? I think they are trying to label my son as autistic

345 replies

roseability · 01/02/2011 20:15

I am pretty sure my ds keyworker was suggesting my ds is on the autistic spectrum

We are confident this is not the case, as at home and at family functions he shows no signs

We had a meeting today with the deputy head of the school (who oversees the nursery) as we had some concerns about how this has been handled

Does anyone else have experience of this?

OP posts:
Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:05

I told you why, I was advised not to by the early years education coordinator for the council. She knows the system, the teachers and the schools

She said this had all happened far too fast and it was ridiculous to suggest assessment at this stage

The deputy head did not once suggest assessment in our meeting

Who do I trust?

I can get assessment through my GP no? they might not know much but presumably we would be referred onto someone who does

We will take stock after parents evening in a months time

Nothing to be 'bemused' about really

OP posts:
Supersunnyday · 02/02/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhForBoonessSake · 02/02/2011 22:09

yes you would be referred. it wouldn't be your GP doing the assesment.

i still dont see the harm in getting the ball rolling while still collecting your evidence. what harm is it that you think the assesment will do if he isn't DX with ASD?

saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 22:09

GP's aren't always that keen to refer on (and often imagine they know something about autism), but you can try. A HV or pre-school advisory teacher (often called different things in different areas) can often be more helpful.

Actually if nursery are already involved in the discussion pre-school advisory can be very helpful. They will come in and observe and ime are pretty good at identifying who needs a referral and who doesn't. They also know which services are available locally (GP's often don't).

saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 22:10

And nursery can ask the pre-school advisory themselves. So it's much faster that sitting on a waiting list for a paed for a year.

silverfrog · 02/02/2011 22:12

it was highly unprofessional of the person at the council to suggest that no need ofr ssessment/too quick to judge.

has she seen your ds at the nurseery? she is not qualified to judge this, tbh.

in your shoes, I owuld trust the person who sees your ds day in, day out, at the nursery.

oh hang on, that's his key worker.

yes, you can get referred by your gp. if they take you seriously. and you will go on the list. jsu like if you fill in th eassessment forms the nursery worker was trying ot get you to read.

but if you sign the nursery forms, you might also get on the list of the ed psych, at next general visit, or get him seen by the SALT when they come, etc. or the portage workers who sometimes pop by, or indeed the early years senco.

none of whom can dx, but all of whom could add more advice and evidence (either way)

KangarooCaught · 02/02/2011 22:12

Excellent post from SuperSunnyDay Smile

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:16

Supersunnyday your post is lovely and I am in tears just hearing some kind, thoughtful words

You articulated so well my dilema and my concerns

If more concerns are raised in the next few weeks (when we have parents evening and another meeting with deputy head) then we will seek out a trusted third party - we already have a name in place

I don't think a few weeks will jeopordise my ds future either way.

I am seeing the GP on friday about a hearing test and will also mention concerns to him. He may not be an expert on autism but I know him well and I trust him, he is an excellent GP. He may have some suggestions which will be useful

Thnaks again Smile

OP posts:
maryz · 02/02/2011 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:20

oh stop wittering and trying to be right silverfrog Angry

SupersunnyDay articulated herself far more kindly and supportively and I have taken her advice

If I were you I would read her post and see how people can really help without sarcastic remarks

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/02/2011 22:21

OP I had about 6 month of worry and watching after my DD was pointed out (by a very competent head teacher) as being possibly in need of asessment...I took on board the concerns raised...in my case it was some anti social behaviour...and an unwillingness to do any "work" but only to colour endless pictures...and I went hell or leather to improve the situation as much as I could.

I thought...well if she does have issues, my organising more playdates and out of school challenges won't change anything...but if her behaviour is simply because she led a sheltered life before school and happens to love art...well then fine...either way fine.

DD turned out not to have any issues...but that 6 months of my helping her to come out of her shell really helped. The staff mention her to parents of new and shy kids to the school...they say "Well Wimples DD didn't speak to any of the teachers for two terms!"

DD is in year 2 now and STILL doesn't like "work" but loves arts of all kinds to the point of obsession...but that's just who she is...the school is very appy with her on all levels, academic and social.

cece · 02/02/2011 22:22

I wonder if the council early years person you spoke to has to cut her/his budget and so therefore reduce the amount of assessments that they carry out this financial year? Hmm

For what it is worth I have concerns about my DS and his language development. I have asked for a referral for SALT. I was told the waiting list was 4 months long - not great when he is 18 months old but hey. The letter duly arrived to only inform me that the list was so long they couldn't offer me an appointment at this time... They will write again when we get far enough up the list to be offered an appointment. I am guessing that is when the 4 month wait starts. Sadly DS needs the help now.

My point is that there is no harm being on a waiting list for an appointment for an assessment. These can be long, things can change and you can always choose to cancel should you need to.

Finally my best friend has a DD who has just be diagnosed at the age of 13 with Aspergers. She was completely surprised by this. She works with aspergers children...

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/02/2011 22:24

"very appy" Went a bit Allo Allo there!

saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 22:24

Um sulersunnyday is the godmother to a newly diagnosed child with autism - she has said some kind words but she doesn't actually have any experience with autism. (sorry but that's true).

I'd really recommend the pre-school advisory/early years senco (am guessing this is the same thing) as good people to take a look and see whether further assessment is needed. They are good at judging that.

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:25

maryz don't worry about me I have been through and coped with a lot worse

OP posts:
OhForBoonessSake · 02/02/2011 22:26

you really are being needlessy aggressive with posters OP.

Supersunnyday · 02/02/2011 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jacinda · 02/02/2011 22:26

I've had a few friends who were deemed very bright up until they went to top universities and THEN fell apart. I feel so sad for them, they could have done so much better with proper dx and support.

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:27

god saintlyjimjams the self righteousness on here is unbelievable

It was the manner and tone of her post which struck me. It immediately warmed me to her - it is called people skills

And she did not tell me what I wanted to hear as it were, she just expressed empathy with my situation

that meant a lot

OP posts:
OhForBoonessSake · 02/02/2011 22:28

"it is called people skills"

they are a great thing to have OP, you should try it.

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:31

was it not you who exclaimed

DENIAL!!! ohforbooness sake

agressive and unkind to a mum going through a rough time

That will provoke hurt and anger and if that is you way of helping well it doesn't

OP posts:
silverfrog · 02/02/2011 22:32

rose, you have had empathy by the bucketload form every poster on this thread.

you may choose not to see it, because some of us have also said that we htink you should be going ahead with assessment and not delaying, but it has been there nonetheless.

the only posters you have responded to without agression have been ones who have agreed with you.

that speaks volumes, tbh.

I will leave you now, and I wish you all the best. I hope the nursery's fears are unfounded.

saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 22:32

I have expressed empathy with your situation right from My first post. (sharing for example my experience of taking my son out of nursey).

My point is at well meaning words don't always get you what is needed. My suggestion to see the pre-school advisory ones is made because it could save you a lot of heartache. They would be able to see your son within a few weeks in a familiar setting and may well finish the session saying he's fine and giving some general advice to the nursey. Far better than sitting on a waiting list for a paed for a year wondering. And if they recommend referral well at least you know it's a reasonable request.

Original poster
roseability · 02/02/2011 22:34

well I have nursed for many years, I think that requires a certain amount of people skills - so yes I have tried it

I wouldn't have approached someone in the manner I was

oh and I have posted extensively on stately homes where I think the posters would vouch for the fact that I have people skills

That is a thread for people from abusive childhoods btw

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 22:35

And my earlier link to forepath was made with the same thought I mind. You can fill the questionnaires in from home and get a clearer idea very easily. Gives you more ammo if you want a referral and reassures if nothing is flagged up.