I feel like I am being pushed into having a termination and I just dont know what to do :(

[Jfg95]

Hey guys, I found out I was pregnant on Sunday and it is currently Wednesday.. Over the last few days there has been a lot of chatting and thinking going on. I currently live at home with my mum, have recently recovered from Anorexia and have EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), ADHD and Autism. My circumstances are clearly not ideal. However my mum is completely dismissing and uninterested in how I feel as she thinks I should just have an Abortion, which I don't want, I feel to anxious to make the decision now as I cant tell how much of it will be influenced by her opinion. It doesn't feel like its my choice and it feels very disempowering, but I cant tell if I would be being unreasonable not terminating. This is too much of a big decision to make when youre full of hormones :(

Spoken like someone who's never even contemplated doing it. When terminations are freely available, virtually no women voluntarily relinquish babies for adoption, because carrying a baby to term and then relinquishing it is a shitty process for all concerned, much more traumatic than a termination.

Much more traumatic for who? Not the baby who could live and live a life being loved by someone who could only dream of carrying a baby

absolutely

@Cleo09

Much more traumatic for who? Not the baby who could live and live a life being loved by someone who could only dream of carrying a baby

Don't underestimate the trauma of parental rejection.

Yes, I don't think I've ever met an adopted person who hasn't struggled with the fact that they were adopted. Even when the adopted parents were superb and much-loved, and investigation revealed that the birth parents could not have provided the kind of stability and care that was needed. There is good research indicating that adoptees have twice the risk of addiction than non-adoptees. I've also seen research indicating that adoptees are up to four times more likely to commit suicide than non-adoptees. The idea that adoption is a harmless solution is naive.

Sure, but the alternatives here aren't great either (non-existance, or being raised a in family situation that is not remotely well set up for this). Any facts about "adoptees are more likely to commit suicide etc." are worthless unless one compares these outcomes with a control group in the form of sibling pairs (ie, look at situations where a mother adopted out one of her kids but not the other, and compare the two). I can tell you that the kids who stay with the parent are likely to do badly on average as well.

I'm not sure you've thought this through.

This must be so hard. I think it’s so hard to comment as autism and adhd affect people so differently . It’s relevant to bear in mind there is a high genetic chance the baby will have autism and adhd and whilst children with these needs are adorable it’s also more challenging as a parent which can be very hard when you struggle mentally yourself