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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Abortion but planning TTC in next 6 months

104 replies

Lifelyk · 28/09/2023 16:12

Apologies but posting her for traffic as pregnancy choices is really quiet.
I am thinking of abortion with my current early pregnancy at 5 weeks but ttc again in 6 months.
I have a 2 yo DC and I want to finish my studies due Dec 2024 and plan a baby for Jan/Feb 2025. I am so unsure at this point on what to do if I couldn't conceive then as I am 34 and will be 35 then.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:
madamreign · 28/09/2023 16:14

Can you not take a break with your studies?

Certainlyreally · 28/09/2023 16:16

You can abort for ANY reason you want to.

I would still abort at this stage, you are young enough and have been pregnant twice so looks like you can conceive (you havent written any issues in getting pregnant)

Original poster
Lifelyk · 28/09/2023 16:16

@madamreign I already took a long break due to maternity break with my DC. I feel it would get very tough with 2 DC.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 28/09/2023 16:17

I think that sounds sensible tbh, it suits you and your aims far better, get your studies out of the way and then crack on.

Original poster
Lifelyk · 28/09/2023 16:21

@TomatoSandwiches my only worry is the regret I might feel if I face difficulty in getting pregnant again. This pregnancy happened very quickly so I don't have any fertility issues but it's just me being so confused and unsure.

OP posts:
Runningonempty01 · 28/09/2023 16:21

You can abort for any reason you like, I completely believe in free choice. BUT getting pregnant ( and staying pregnant) is never guaranteed. I think you might regret this is you go on to have miscarriages or troubles conceiving. This does gradually increase with age.

Jessforless · 28/09/2023 16:21

Is there no way to continue your studies or pause them?

as others have said you are young and will in all likelihood be absolutely fine but I would just worry in case there was a problem conceiving in future.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 28/09/2023 16:24

What support do you have from family/ partner?

Original poster
Lifelyk · 28/09/2023 16:25

We don't have any family around but I have a very supportive DH who looks after DS a lot. He is supportive of any choice I make.

OP posts:
Seryse · 28/09/2023 16:26

It's your choice, but be mindful fertility can change very quickly. I had DD then 17 years of unexplained secondary fertility and thought it would never happen after various fertility appointments then randomly fell pregnant with DS (17 months now), fell pregnant again when he aas 4 months old (while on the pill the first time we had sex since the c section might I add) which unfortunately aas a chemical and a cycle later fell pregnant with our youngest DD (15 weeks now). Tubes are clipped now lol. Have a good think, you still have time for that but absolutely wish the best of luck in whatever your choice is.

scaredorganicyoghurt · 28/09/2023 16:32

I had a termination (that admittedly I did not want, but rather felt very pressured into. It was an unplanned pregnancy. Morning after pill didn't work), with the plan to start TTC half a year to a year later. It's now been over 9 months of TTC and nothing, but with the bonus of having some severe endo issues finally become diagnosed. It's entirely up to you what you decide to do, but if I were you, i would not do it. Your studies are extremely important, but your mental health is moreso. Only you can decide, do not let your partner influence you either way.

Best of luck OP, it's a situation I wouldn't wish on anyone in the world. I hope you find peace xxx

AuntieBadge · 28/09/2023 16:34

You can for any reason but however hard I wouldn’t risk it because if you did not manage to get PG again it would be a mess your head up with the what if I hadn’t.

ActDottie · 28/09/2023 16:37

I would keep it, I think you’d regret it more if you struggled to conceive later on. I’d instead look at deferring your studies or maybe studying part time or something? Obviously completely your choice though.

Cadenza12 · 28/09/2023 16:44

If you definitely want another child then I would think very hard. There's never a perfect time to get pregnant.

jlpth · 28/09/2023 16:47

I would keep the baby and see if you can get some help in order to finish your studies. I went into premature menopause late 30s with no warning. You do want another child, so I wouldn't risk not having this one.

dkdkjf · 28/09/2023 16:49

I have an opinion as to what I think I would do if I was in your position, but it's completely irrelevant, you do what you need to do and it'll be the right decision, either way.

Alloveragain3 · 28/09/2023 16:57

I fell pregnant easily first time but then had a mmc next time and spent 20 months ttc number 2 at age 32.
Horrible experience.
So, for me, if I knew I wanted another DC I wouldn't abort.

ittakes2 · 28/09/2023 17:03

My sister fell pregnant with dc1 at 35 in the first week or two of trying but then took three years to fall pregnant with dc2 - then fell accidentally pregnant at 42 with dc3. Unfortunately fertility can not be guaranteed.

MrsMarzetti · 28/09/2023 17:08

I truly get having an abortion because you are not in the right place to have a baby but to do it because it is 5 months to early to fit in with your studies sounds drastic.

Justgonefishing · 28/09/2023 17:12

i’m fully supportive of any woman who doesn’t wish to continue with an unwanted pregnancy ….but I really struggle with the idea of a “6 months too soon “ abortion. I would advise counselling ….fertility and being able to conceive at a certain time is just not guaranteed and you have no idea how you (or your husband)will feel after an abortion.

Pipsquiggle · 28/09/2023 17:13

You can abort for any reason you want. Yes studying would undoubtedly be harder with a baby.

It's difficult as we don't know our own fertility and therefore chances of getting pregnant again.

I had my 2DC at 35 and 37, 2 really great pregnancies. I also had 4 early MC which were pretty awful.

Family planning services, which includes abortion, have really helped women to maximise their studying & earning potential. It's a tough one this, either option is ok to do. It is your decision

Babyghirl · 28/09/2023 17:37

@Lifelyk
Just make sure it's right, I had 4 miscarriages from the age of 35 to 38, your fertility declines age 35 op.

Snowonthebeachx · 28/09/2023 17:41

I'm pro choice but I wouldn't do this. I know quite a few people who have had secondary infertility after 35. You can't always plan these things.

Pebstk · 28/09/2023 17:45

I am pro choice but this seems so clinical to me.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 28/09/2023 17:48

It is absolutely your choice first and foremost.

But could you look at ways that you could make your plans work first, before you make the final decision, so that you don't have regrets later.

For example, will your DC age 2 be ready for nursery soon? Can you find some extra child care to fill the gap. Your DH sounds supportive. Do you have any family support? What kind of support could your uni/college provide?