Should I get an abortion? Please help!

[S4976]

So I have 3 children already. Two of secondary school age and one primary. I have just found out I am pregnant again. This is with the father of my children but he is in another relationship and she is also expecting.

He is adamant he will leave all of us for good if I keep this baby however I feel like it’s all for his girlfriends benefit and so his affair doesn’t become public.

There are so many things for me to think about but I don’t think I could cope if he didn’t come back and hated me for keeping the baby.

i know people will say it’s my choice and strong mommas can do it alone but I feel like I’m having a dilemma and any advice would be appreciated 💕

why dont you value yourself more though?
you're worth so much more than someones 'side piece'

@Maybeebebe it's not that I don't value myself. If you've read the thread you will see he disappeared for a long period of time. Nearly 3 years in fact and the emotional trauma of what came with that was worse than anything I've ever endured and I've definitely not lived a sheltered life.
When he came back it was almost to prove to myself that I was good enough and then it became too hard to let go. Now I lose again either way because of my own stupidity.

Have an abortion, because one way or another you will be doing this alone. As your life stands at the moment you will manage as a single parent. Your husband is scum and needs du,ping ASAP. Do I g this at the same time as carrying a new baby would be so difficult. For your sake, and your children's terminate early and divorce your H

@bluegardenflowers I see your point about doing the two things together. Having to watch his other child be born and him play happy families is going to be a bitter experience all the same.

I was convinced DS2 was a girl. Obviously he wasn't, so don't let that nonsense influence clear thinking. If you have a child of one sex you are more likely to have another, and for the third the chances are even higher statistically.

The whole thing is going to be a bitter and difficult experience. Abortion regret will happen, but a mental regret is preferable to a lifelong struggle to raise another child alone and cope with all the distress of divorce and single parenthood while looking after a baby. I had an abortion and regret what happened but I know my life is so much better and the lives of my children too without that pregnancy.

Please stop focusing on your awful H and his life and his gf and baby. Focus on yourself and your children and making a new life without him. He is toxic to you and your family. Believe me it will get better.

@bluegardenflowers Thankyou 💕

Does his pregnant partner know he's been sleeping with his ex who is now pregnant at the same time? I'd want to know as she might not want to be with him after finding that out.

@rickandmorts if I tell her he will stop seeing the boys we already have.
He wins in every situation.

@S4976
Don't get one because your ex partner tells you too.
Don't get one because you feel you won't cope, you will.
Get one if you actually want one. For you, no one else.

Your ex partner is a twat, he will be a twat no matter what you do. You have to do what's right for you and the family xxx

Also speaking as a mum of 2 boys I completely understand the longing.

I really wish you luck xxx

@Babiesandboardgames thankyou so much for the no judgment and kind words.
So much to process but I'll try bare this in mind 💕

No he doesn't win

He loses out on his own children. They don't get a shitty role model, and they get a mother who respects herself.