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Pregnancy choices

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Original poster

I regret my abortion

54 replies

Regret2022 · 14/02/2022 15:44

I’m not sure why I’m posting here an what I’m hoping to achieve but here I am anyway.

I had a medial abortion at 8 weeks, I had the first pill last Tuesday the 8th and the four other pills in the Thursday. Now I ak absolutely overwhelmed with regret, sadness and anger. I would do literally anything to go back in time and stop myself from doing it.

I am 32 and have a nearly 3 year old. I had always wanted another one but his dad was dead set against it. After talking about it again last October I finally got my head around not having another. However, it seems a pill mishap over Xmas ended up in pregnancy and I found out at the start of Feb. When I told my partner we spoke about it and he reasoned that abortion was the best idea, for lots of reasons that seemed important at the time. I feel like I kind of just got swept along by the idea and agreed. I focused completely on the fact I was going to have an abortion and didn’t take proper time to consider my options. I just thought if I could get through to the appointment at the clinic 10 days later it would all be fine and I would be ok afterwards. I wish I had read threads like this before I went as I wouldn’t maybe have reconsidered. I think I was ok until I was scanned but by that point I felt too far in to change my mind. I don’t know why. I’m just devastated. I can’t stop crying. I’ve told my partner I regret it, told him how I don’t think we thought it through, just focused on the negatives, but while he is trying to be supportive he doesn’t feel the same. I feel like I’ve ruined my one last hope at every having another baby and I just can’t comprehend how I made that decision when I had always wanted another.

I’ve spent most of the day on bed reading threads on failed abortions and holding out some ridiculous hope that this could be me.

Sorry for the long post, again, not sure what I’m looking for here but don’t know what else to do

OP posts:
SnowySpa · 06/12/2023 13:32

Thank your for your honest words, Elaylah. I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through and hope you can find healing and peace one day. Maybe your post will help someone who is in the middle of deciding what to do. Unplanned pregnancy is so stressful and scary and many act very quickly just to be done with it. I'll be praying for you, dear. I mean that.

Barelycoping1234 · 15/02/2024 16:12

Hey just wants to see if anyone in this threat 2 years later feels any better. Struggling. I’m 6 months out and have 3 beautiful daughters. The third wasn’t an option. I was early and felt like it was right decision but now just consumed daily with guilt. Any advice?

Lornahere · 16/02/2024 19:46

Hi there, so sorry to hear you are going through this. 2 years after I still feel torned to be honest. It gets better and I learned how to manage it better, but somedays are still hard. Hooe you feel better soon, thanks for reaching out, somehow it also helps to know I am not alone here

myangels999 · 31/03/2024 00:26

Elaylah · 06/12/2023 01:17

Hey,

I realise how sombre and shit my last post was and I apologise for my crudeness but in the moment my mind wasn't in the best place. It's been over a month now and I got my first period since the abortion in late October but besides that nothing has really felt normal since. I find myself still thoroughly wracked with guilt and crying regularly. I'll be in bed or working and then suddenly burst into tears thinking about the baby I won't be holding in my arms next July. My partner and I both agree it was a huge mistake as life seemed to sort itself out not even a few days afterwards, we both wanted our baby and I don't think we will ever be the same again. He want us to try for another so we can make up for our mistake and get it right but I'm just not there.
Sleepless nights and a long about of depression have ensued with no signs of stopping and I'm terrified of dreaming.

I don't care what pro-abortionists or feminists will tell you, even though I felt it was right at the time I in no way felt empowered, like I was exercising a choice or like I would fight for the right to do it again. It was, is and forever will be the most horrible thing I have ever done. A small ball of cells or a fully formed infant, that was my baby and I ended its life because I was too stupid to see the wood from the trees.

I stand by what I said and plead to all women to please not put themselves in a position they aren't equipped to handle. Parents, please tell your sons and daughters to use a condom or wait until they are ready to risk getting pregnant and save the most horrid experience imaginable. I wouldn't wish the pain and subsequent agony on anyone not even my worst enemy.

@Elaylah i’m sat in bed crying reading all these post and yours is soo similar to mine. i had two abortions, one medical(2022) and one surgical summer (2023), i got pregnant the second time a month after my first abortion. it’s now 2024 and i still feel so much sadness. exactly what you said. i cry every single day, im in therapy, i have PTSD now. i don’t feel empowered, surprised there’s not much noise about us women that suffer so deeply nor do they let you know the ACTUAL pain and realities of an abortion.

id love to talk to you, one grieving mother to another. if you ever wanna talk please don’t hesitate to message me.

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