In turmoil

[Jockerty]

I’m booked in for a surgical termination next week. I’ll be about 8 weeks.
I already have children and I’m in a nice(albeit new) relationship with someone. He is adamant he doesn’t want this baby as the timing is all wrong for him. He wants us to start a family in the next couple of years. I’ll be 43 by then which concerns me.
My main reason for this is I had a one nighter with someone after we briefly ended things. Stupid stupid thing to do. I was upset and very drunk. The other man pulled out(I know it’s not foolproof) but I’m worried this baby could be his. I was having regular sex with my partner and he never pulled out. I was taking contraception at the time too.
What a total mess. I’m just going to have to go through with the abortion aren’t I? I’m so sad about it as I very much want to have this baby.
Any advice would be lovely

If you want to have the baby then don’t terminate or you will likely regret it. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy

I know there’s no guarantees but I slept with other man on the 15th June and my current partner pretty much every day but that day. I’m guessing I ovulated on the 14th. What’s the odds of it being the other mans? I can’t think of anything else and I’m sending myself crazy

Thanks girls. I know DP doesn’t want this. But I know he wants me and would be sticking around. I’m so worried I’ll resent him if I do terminate and end up not wanting to be with him anyway. Don’t feel like I can talk to him about options as he’s dead set on the termination and think he assumes I am too

Thanks @SudokuZebra I think I’ll do that

I haven’t really told anyone as I’m so ashamed I’m even considering a termination
He’s not pressuring me per se but he definitely doesn’t want to go through with it. He’d be a great dad and partner but I know he will be very stressed and anxious about it

I want to keep my baby. I do. I’ll talk to him and set him straight. Thanks so much. Fingers crossed it’s not Mr one night stand

OP, you're very vulnerable at the moment. Do you have support from friends/family?

I don't like the sound of your partner. He doesn't want this baby, and would be happy for you to put yourself through an abortion, but he wants one in a couple of years?!? What the fuck???

If you want a stranger's opinion: I think you'll love this baby far more than you'll love your partner, or any other partner.

He’s one of these 5 year plan type of people. I get it, I do. He’s caring, selfless and wonderful in every other sense. I’m going to talk to him and tell him how I really feel

Hi OP I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow, my partner was adamant he didn't want me to keep this baby, I was about to book a termination but I decided against it... this is MY BABY! Nobody else's
I gave my partner one of 2 options...
option 1- crack on and be supportive
Option 2 - move out and I go alone
Luckily he came around in the end because my mind is set
Please OP do not have a termination if it's not what you actually want... your body your choice!
You are the person who has to live with this decision for the rest of your life
Sending you 💐
And whatever decision you make
Make sure it's the right decision for YOU!

You’ve all been so nice. I thought I’d be flamed for sleeping with the other man(this is MN after all!)

I’m feeling much clearer already. I don’t want To terminate my baby

@Liverbird77

OP, you're very vulnerable at the moment. Do you have support from friends/family?

I don't like the sound of your partner. He doesn't want this baby, and would be happy for you to put yourself through an abortion, but he wants one in a couple of years?!? What the fuck???

If you want a stranger's opinion: I think you'll love this baby far more than you'll love your partner, or any other partner.

Wise words

@Jockerty if you want to discuss this again, please just post. A lot of us will be happy to chat.
I am glad things are clearer.

The baby is more than likely your partner's. Hope you come to a decision you are content with. Best of luck.

Still here... still pregnant... BF still doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy. I’m so fed up. He still assumes I’m going to terminate. Won’t entertain any conversations about continuing with the pregnancy. It’ll ruin his life and so on. I’m thinking I might have to just cut him out of my life and carry on alone.

It'll ruin his life yet wanted kids in a few years? Yeh right. He's full of bullshit.
He never wanted kids but did want to string you along... See?

Not such a great guy

Personally I'd leave him and have your lovely baby. Good luck

He does definitely want kids in the future. He’s going to have to suck it up or get lost