2 abortions 2 months

[honeybun7979]

I have a 6mo ds. When he was 4 mo I fell pregnant and instantly knew I couldn't do it all again so soon so me and my partner decided to get an abortion. 2 months later I fell pregnant again 🙄I have no idea how as I've been religious with the pill. Anyway I actually felt happy this time. I felt ds had grown up lots in the last 2 months and I'd really got a hang of things. Dp has just got a promotion so we think we'd be able to afford it (just) and he was over the moon. He would have kept the first one if I wanted to.
But now the sickness has started, I knew it would be bad because it was with ds but now I have him to look after and I just can't cope. I can barely carry him without wanting to collapse, I just have no energy whatsoever, can't eat anything and I'm being a shit mum and putting him in front of hey duggee all the time because I can't cope. We are moving in 2 weeks as well so I need to be fit and well for that as we have no help, just us two to move everything . Dp is helping as much as he can whilst working.
So we've decided to terminate even though neither of really want to but I just can't deal with this.
Is it bad to terminate a pregnancy because of the sickness and has anyone else done it?😔

Have you spoken to your GP/midwife about the sickness? I know women who have terminated because of HG (I'm assuming this is what you've got), and I have total sympathy for them. But it seems desperately sad that you would have to terminate when you actually want the baby.

I had awful sickness with my youngest and vowed to terminate if I got pregnant again. It is a perfectly legitimate reason.

That said, are you medicated for the sickness? If not then there are drugs that will help that won't harm your baby.

Sounds like you could do with a coil or an implant OP otherwise it will keep happening.

You can have an abortion for whatever reason you want one, but I think you need to make sure you ready do want one.
If you're liabile to get get bad morning sickness, there isn't really a good age to have the other one. So are you happy having just ds?
Have you spoken to GP? At the v least talk to him about contraception as something hasn't worked and you don't want to keep ending up here.
I hope you can work it out

Yes, you can have an abortion for any reason you want, its your body and your choice.

Yes it would be sad to abort purely because of sickness, so I think you should speak to your gp and see if there are any options first (I say this as non judgemental as I can, no judgement on your choice)

Good luck

If you both want the baby then have the baby! Your husband can just pack things and get you moved -
He will manage! Can you not call a friend to help or something?

We are moving soon and it’s literally a week before my due date - I’m very stressed about it all but my husband is taking control of the move and I don’t have to do anything !

We’re you sick for the whole of the last pregnancy or just for the first few months? You will get through it

Go to Dr and get medication for it, get some support fro baby.If you want the baby have the baby.

You can terminate for any reason you want. You don't have to justify yourself to anybody. That being said, when I was pregnant with my 2nd and suffering from terrible sickness I considered termination however I managed to get a dr who worked with me to find the right medication and I carried on with the pregnancy. If you are not taking any medication i would definitely suggest seeing your gp to get something.

The reasons you give are immediate problems but not problems in the long term. I had severe morning sickness it's awful but it does fade eventually. If you want the baby keep it, these problems in a few months will go.

The sickness won’t last. It’s totally your choice of course but remember the sickness is temporary. If anything it might be better to get the sickness stage out of the way before your DS is a toddler and it’ll be harder Dirk.

No idea what ‘dirk’ means!

I have. And I really struggled with it. That is me personally and you may be different. I would urge you to speak to a counsellor first. It’s a really horrible decision, and morning sickness is horrendous (going through it at the moment and have considered terminating again). Would you want another baby eventually? Or don’t want to be pregnant again?

Thank you everyone. I tried medication last time which just made me sicker. We've had the year from hell (who hasn't) and only just getting positive news and getting on our feet again so I feel like I just want to enjoy this time instead of extending my miserableness for the next few months while I wait for the sickness to go.
Some really good suggestions here so thank you, this is my first time posting about something like this so I really appreciate it.
I think I will talk about my options with the gp:)

best of luck OP x

Honestly, if I had to have awful morning sickness for a second time, I'd choose it when my first was a baby, rather than toddler. Your partner might have to do more in terms of looking after your baby at night so you can rest, but the first half of your pregnancy at least will be spent with a largely immobile baby, or one happy to crawl/cruise round the lounge.

d the option at least if napping (several times perhaps!) during the day. With a larger gap, you are likely to be juggling work, and your child will be fast, exploring the house, needing to go to the park/scooting/burn off energy.

If sickness is a feature of your pregnancies, then it's likely to be the same whether you have a baby now, or in a year, or two years.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

If you want the baby I would try and get something to help with the sickness if you can. Are you sure the first abortion worked? Could you still be pregnant from the first time? Just thinking if you’ve been religious with contraception xx

@Mummyto3GBG that's a good point, I thought it was too far apart though and the symptoms fully stopped with the first then 4 weeks later have started again but the pregnancy test does say 3+ weeks 😬 I have an appointment tomorrow with the gp I shall ask them x

For the future, I'd also look at your contraception. The odds of Falling pregnant twice by accident whilst on the pill must be minuscule.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

The GP can help with medication to control sickness and maybe think of sending baby to childminder a few hours a week to rest.
There are options. Morning sickness isn't easy but you will get through it.
I feel people can be so blasé about abortion as some quick fix. I will hold my tongue now but think long and hard.

I worry about having a 15 month old and a newborn also. I just need a break and another baby will not give me that.
Yes contraception is getting sorted before I even look at dp again. Either coil or implant whichever I can get first!
@Cloverglens why thank you for holding your tongue 🙄🙄

@Cloverglens

The GP can help with medication to control sickness and maybe think of sending baby to childminder a few hours a week to rest. There are options. Morning sickness isn't easy but you will get through it. I feel people can be so blasé about abortion as some quick fix. I will hold my tongue now but think long and hard.

Any woman should be able to have an abortion for any reason she wants to.

I feel people can be so blasé about abortion as some quick fix. I will hold my tongue now but think long and hard.
A termination can be a quick fix, that doesnt make it a bad thing

I'm not sure 15m and a newborn is any more difficult than 2y and a newborn or 3 and a newborn. Tbh, the newborn just fits in, and the older child is usually the challenge, and personally I find them a lot trickier at 2 and 3 than 15m, but everyone has a different view on that.

@Thespottytortoise

I'm not sure 15m and a newborn is any more difficult than 2y and a newborn or 3 and a newborn. Tbh, the newborn just fits in, and the older child is usually the challenge, and personally I find them a lot trickier at 2 and 3 than 15m, but everyone has a different view on that.

That's true I'm considering having ds as an only child at this point! Not that dp will agree but I've found it all so difficult

My last 2 were 15 months apart and I was nearly 40. I also suffered from absolutely dreadful nausea and vomiting with both pregnancies. In my most desperate and darkest hours I considered abortion. They are now 15 and 16 and in so so glad I didn't.

Your boyfriend needs to step up and do more parenting and housework, he sounds shit. He also needs to take responsibility for contraception and stop behaving like an out of control fire hose, jfc.

@evenBetter just checked this thread. How offensive, he is absolutely not shit and like I said does everything he can whilst working. How can you even deduce that through one post 😂