Termination trigger- head or heart?

[Mummyto3GBG]

Found out I’m pregnant not planned....already have 3 children....youngest is 10months. They are all csection babies. I was advised at my last section by consultant not to get pregnant again due to complications last time and also further complications that can arise for me the more section you have...she was very clear that some of these complications are life threatening...desperately trying to find the right thing to do....Spoke to a consultant who highlighted the risks but said so long as I don’t have them I should be fine 🤔 which doesn’t really help me, she also said a termination isn’t without risks either....would love another baby (but wouldn’t of said this soon) and also petrified that I’ll leave my current children without a mum if I continue. Not sure I could live with myself either way 😫

@Mabelface

Listen to your consultant, not Dr Google.

I came on to say this- @Mabelface had already done so

Thank you all, I haven’t been in this situation before and I know I shouldn’t go with what strangers on Mumsnet say or frantically googling every possible complication of csections and terminations but I don’t feel I have anyone else to talk to about it apart from my partner and because I’m such an anxious person and I over analyse everything that after trying to reassure me that the worst probably won’t happen in either case he just gives up in the end.

Google will always tell you your gonna die. Don't go googling. I would have leukemia 100 times over. It was always something minor.

I’d trust your consultant over google. Googling is never going to tell you anything good. If your consultant thinks the risks are low and you want the baby I would personally go ahead with the pregnancy

Hi OP

We're just moving your thread over to pregnancy choices for you.

Hi OP

I really feel for you, I have no personal experience, however I do know someone who has had 6 - yes, really, six! C sections.

At the last one she was told, that it really was the very last one they could do, under no uncertain circumstances.

I don't want this to come across wrong, but at the end of the day, they have to cover their derrières against anything and everything that could go wrong and deliver worst case scenarios - much akin to google!

Perhaps, take a little step back and try to think how you would feel if the c section element wasn't there, as in, taking that out of the equation how do you feel able to manage a fourth bubba?

State the obvious, but seek a professional opinion too.

I know my friend really pushed it with her last two, but it WAS doable, and she was ok.

The world record is 13 I believe!

Taking the csection out of it I would cope fine with a 4th....I mean I had thought about having a 4th in a few years if I would of been able to persuade my oh- I would have however consulted with the consultant first after my previous csection to check it was safe before going ahead and if she’d of given me the list of possible complications I know now I probably wouldn’t of risked it because Im a very anxious person and would of assumed I’d get every complication.

This is where I’m finding it hard...the deed it done now, I can’t go back. If I want the 4th child it’s now or never and Im scared what to do for the best.

When I say I’d cope fine with a 4th I mean they’re hard work and expensive but it’s not the actual end result baby I’m not wanting in all this

Dear OP
I have recently found myself in the same situation as yourself. I have just found out I am pregnant with 4th. All my other 3 children were csections, first two no problems but 3rd (born March 2020) I lost a lot of blood and was advised not to have anymore.. which I wasn’t planning on doing however I’ve found out I am pregnant and I am absolutely petrified!
Head and heart are pulling me in two different directions. I really am struggling to make a decision. My partner is keen for me to not continue with the pregnancy and I know my family will think the same.
How did you come to making your decision? Do you mind me asking what you decide to do? And what if any complications you’ve had if you continued your pregnancy? Again I’m guilty of googling and constantly worrying about dying and I’m just driving myself mad with the constant worrying already.. feel so emotional about the whole thing and I’m so desperate to hear some positive stories. If I had had my other children naturally without any complications I would have had this baby no problem but the health risks are so scary. Please can you tell me what you decided and how you came to reach that decision xx

I know it’s such a difficult decision, l found out that l was pregnant again when my DD was only 6 months old, and after a CS, after a Coil failure.

My older kids from my first Marriage were still at Junior school, and l had just started back to work in a job l loved. I decided to keep the baby, and request a sterilisation procedure at the same time as my planned C Section, which they recommended due to previous history of non defending breech presentation.

I have no regrets, everything went as planned, and l never had to think or worry about getting pregnant ever again!

@SavannahLands thank you for replying! Such a hard choice to make. I feel so confused and so unsure I keep changing my mind. I’m glad you shared your positive experience with me, it’s definitely helping to hear the good.