I don’t know how to decide pls help

[vrycncrnd]

Hello everyone,
I am new here and I am looking for advice. I am around 7 weeks pregnant. I am married, married in January of this year. We were using contraceptives, so this pregnancy is a shock. I guess the details don’t really matter.

We had discussed trying for a family sometime next year. Meaning we’d likely give birth in 2022 if all went well. This pregnancy is way too early for us both. But...this is where I’m conflicted...I’m 35. And I fear if I don’t keep this baby we may struggle to get pregnant later. But, as we’ve both discussed we really are not ready to have one yet.

It all sounds so selfish. I know lots of women get pregnant before they’d like or at inconvenient times. Is that a reason to get an abortion? I have no idea what to do. I cried for days on end when I first found out. I don’t cry as much now. But I do not know if I should keep this baby or not.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I feel like a terrible person contemplating this.

The OP has said she’s concerned about current issues in her relationship. Hardly ‘entitled’ or ‘selfish’ reasons to think twice about bringing a DC into the situation, and could well be the opposite.

Agree that OP should think through the scenario of future fertility probs. But should OP experience such problems that’d be nothing to do with her past choices.

I wasn't going to post as I really didn't want to seem judgemental and wanted to try and be understanding but unless there is lots of undisclosed information, I find the mere idea of discarding this pregnancy when you are planning to try next year, quite bizarre.

Have you had some sort of test to prove that you have a 100% success rate when it comes to trying to conceive, at any at any point you decide? Or are you are actually content with the possible scenario of not actually being able to ever conceive again, which is a possibility. Sorry but if you're considering termination because the 'birthday' is few months earlier than ideal, then I'm not sure parenthood is for you as it's rarely textbook in itself.

Had started writing my post before I'd seen there were relationship issues. Obviously changes things fairly significantly depending on what those issues are and how serious they are.

Before termination I'd go onto the conception thread here. To have a look. Funny enough planning to have a baby in a year doesn't mean you will have it even in 10 years. Your own body can play all sorts of tricks with you. I'm not being sarcastic. You need to be aware that your planning is not necessarily what is going to happen. It would be horrible to have regrets for the rest of your life.

She did say herself that it’s an inconvenient time and that next year would be better. Without context it sounds ridiculous to me but I’m sure there is a backstory. She asked for advice and if people had been in similar situations and I have so I replied. I’ve just never really understood why people who really want children would leave it until the last minute. In my own situation I knew the relationship would most likely not last and that I would be really busy while pregnant working and finishing a course but I’ve never expected that my life would be “perfect” and being a single parent has never bothered me.

Convenience and not wanting a baby at the current time in your life is just a valid reason to abort as any. “Taking the piss” is a deeply nasty thing to say.

You can abort for any reason, and if it's not right for you now, then that's what you should do. BUT, you don't know what is in the future. You could keep the baby and your marriage could end (if so, it doesn't sound like the marriage is going to last anyway) you could keep the baby and stay happily together forever, you could abort the baby and never get pregnant again, your marriage could still break down etc etc. You have to be able to live with your choices, so maybe think about what would be the best-through to worst-outcome and see what you can live with, and what you can't before you decide?

@dodgeballchamp Convenience and not wanting a baby at the current time in your life is just a valid reason to abort as any.
I believe abortion should be legal for any reason but on a personal level I strongly disagree that inconvenience is as valid a reason as any other. But I’m only posting in a forum not actually imposing my views on others. Of course people should have the right to choose but to ME it seems ridiculous compared to people who are forced to make an extremely difficult decision