I found out I was pregnant on Friday despite taking the morning after pill after an incident with a broken condom and have booked in to have an abortion tomorrow. Although in my mind I know it’s the right decision my heart is torn & I feel incredibly guilty and sad about the whole situation & am now panicking about tomorrow. I’m 27 and my boyfriend of over 2 years is 29. We are in the happiest most loving relationship. Although unplanned he was happy about the pregnancy as he has always been vocal about wanting to start a family earlier rather than later and so, although he is supporting me, he said he wants to keep it. The problem is he is a lot more secure in life than me. He has recently purchased his first home & works for his dad in a successful line of business so is financially stable for the most part (he has a few debts). He’s also been married before. I on the other hand have just finished university & have no money whatsoever, I’m in debt & have no job prospects given the current climate. I live between my mums & his so I don’t feel truly ‘settled’. I always said I wanted to get married, get a job, be a bit more financially stable & move into a house together (his current property is a flat) before having children. I also wanted to wait a few years as I have suffered with anxiety since being a teenager and feel I’ve missed out on a lot of life as I was isolated by myself for many years and so I’m worried about giving up my freedom, especially since I have such a strong desire to travel. Given my anxiety I am also terrified about keeping it and being pregnant/giving birth during a pandemic. I worry there’ll be a lack of support both medically and from family if we have to isolate again. I worry about a second wave & giving birth alone if nobody is allowed into the delivery suite. But now the time has come for my appointment I’m worried if I’ll regret it or feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. Equally, if I kept it I’m worried that I would be resentful of missing out on things. I just don’t know what to do I’ve been so up and down & emotional since finding out. Deep down I feel like keeping it would be very difficult and stressful for me right now but I just can’t stop feeling badly and thinking about the ‘what ifs’. What if everything was ok & we have end up with something so special? I don’t really know why I’m writing this, I know ultimately it’s my decision and nobody can advise me but despite discussing it with my boyfriend I feel quite alone and feel like I need a different perspective other than his but I don’t want to tell anyone close to me through fear of causing unnecessary upset. I just don’t know what to do for the best.