Did you feel grief or relief after your abortion?

[solodreams]

Exactly that did you feel grief after your abortion or relief?

I suppose it all depends on the circumstances but I had my abortion last month and I’m really struggling with grief tbh. I just feel different now like my life will never be the same now knowing how it could have been being a mum. I’m 27 and would have loved to be a mum at this age if the circumstances were different I think it’s really hit me hard. I felt rushed into the decision by 9 weeks so I could have the medical abortion but I feel it was so traumatic that I have ptsd or something now I read post abortion trauma is a thing. Has anyone else felt this way? Or did you feel relief? I wish I felt that way :(

Never gave it a second thought...And it's nearly 30 years ago

Relief. And rarely think about it now 3 years later. Hormones took awhile to settle so the month or so after did feel odd

Relief, but I already have 3 children and has a stillbirth a few years previously so it was a very different situation and there is no right way to feel.

Grief for me, I am 8 weeks post abortion and feel exactly the same as you so you are not alone.

Relief but sadness. 40 years on

Relief. But I had 2 children and had the implant, so falling pregnant was absolutely not what I wanted. I never had a moment of indecision or upset, and I sometimes actually forget about it. Someone was talking about abortions a few years after I'd had mine and I actually thought "oh yeah, I forgot about mine". That makes me sound heartless and horrible and awful... But it's what happened. For me, it was completely the right decision.

Relief. Then largely forgot about it. Nearly 30 years ago.

Had two DC since, with the RIGHT man.

Relief then didn't really think about it again. 8 years ago now, but you're not alone or wrong to feel grief

I felt absolute relief both times. I knew it was absolutely the right thing to do. The father had made me pregnant by sabotaging the condoms and he was not the man I wanted to be the father of my children. He was a liar and a cheat. They were so tiny they were not even babies at that stage.

Relief.
It was the right decision, I am deeply grateful that I had the option of a safe, legal termination, and having had a wanted planned pregnancy since I am even more sure that it was the right thing to do then.

I felt relief. But everyone’s circumstances are so different. I think many women feel the way you do. Have you been offered any follow up support?

I’ve had two terminations.

First time I felt nothing but pure relief. Didn’t give it a second thought once it was done. Second time (20 years later) was much harder. It was 6 years ago and I still struggle at times to come to terms with it.

I felt both.
And then a lot of guilt and 'what ifs' for five years or so. Still think about it but if I'd had that baby then I would never have gone travelling, finished my degree, met my husband or have the kids I have now.
One day you will come to terms with it.
You will have made your decision with very good reasons. However you feel, it's ok to feel that.
Try getting some counselling?
I hope you feel better soon.

Nice to see so many replies :)

I know both or normal emotions after I just wish I didn’t feel the grief. I think I will try some counselling hopefully it gets easier soon.

I felt grief op. But I feel much better two years on, especially now that I am pregnant in a stable relationship. It was shit and awful but I know I made the right decision

Nothing but relief

Relief.

Name changed

I was absolutely heartbroken. Complete grief that broke me for about 6 months (I didn't want the baby, no one forced me or rushed me)

But the sadness passed and I've never regretted it despite the sadness. It was still the right thing to do. I wasn't a mum at the time but now I am, I can't imagine how hard it would have been to have had a baby in the wrong circumstances

I definitely felt relieved. Have never regretted it but regret that I became pregnant in the first place, I'd stopped the pill and took a risk. So I am sorry about that but have never grieved. All a very long time ago when I was young.

I suffered with a terrible grief and guilt which has always been with me and it has lasted for decades and never goes away. Tbh, its been a bereavement for me that I have not been able to get over. I had my first child quite recently (in the last 5 years) so have thought about it a bit less, but it still regularly goes through my mind. I also count every year that passes as my daughter being another year older (the nurse/midwife decided to tell me what I was having a girl just before the abortion physically took place - I needed another scan immediately before the abortion as there was a discrepancy about my dates). I was 16 at the time. My daughter would have been in her mid 20's now and I still sometimes dream of her.

If a few months down the line you are still struggling to come to terms with this, make an appointment to see your GP so you can be referred for counselling.

I have felt mixed emotions but mainly grief, though my abortion was only this week so I'm hoping that time will heal. It was sm unplanned pregnancy with a fairly new boyfriend, I would have kept it if he had been supportive but he was selfish and vile and I couldn't face a life tied to him and my circumstances didn't allow me to continue alone (exh left me a few years ago so already working full time as single mum to my two dc).

I still feel it was the right decision to terminate, just a very sad one.

Relief that the procedure was fairly painless and straightforward, then grief, and utter fury at partner for failing to offer me a reason to continue with the pregnancy, and him not feeling any sadness or regret afterwards.

We split up as a direct response to the abortion and conflicting attitudes to it, which was when I finally felt relief about it, as I wouldn't have coped alone at that point in my life.

Sorry you feel that way sharon have you had post abortion counselling?

I felt relief after I had a termination. I was 100% sure I was making the right decision.
Surely not everyone is 100%? It’s ok to feel upset and traumatized after the event. It doesn’t mean it was the wrong choice