Please someone help me :-(

[Halleberry]

Does anyone know anything about the accuracy of clear blue digital? I'm absolutely terrified at the moment. My husband and I have had a rough year due to a major family
Incident. We have seperated,got back,separated,so on and so forth. My husband and I had a "dinner date" to try and work things out. We slept together that night (the 25th August)....And the following morning and for 3 days in a row after. Then we had a massive row resulting in another break up. We stayed apart a few weeks. On the 7th of September I stupidly had sex with my very best friend. To much wine and tears and one thing led to another. 1 week later I didn't feel right and was tempted to take a test. I did so, and what do you know..... The test said I was 2-3 weeks pregnant. My husband and I are back together and having couples coincilling. I am
Now terrified that this baby could be my best friends (this would ruins relationship with my
Husband who I do love dearly) and we have tried so long to have a baby :-( I'm so happy but also not at the same time. What are the chances of a clear blue saying 2-3 weeks pregnant only 1 week after conception?? As i said, when I slept with my best friend it was Sunday the 7th September. I took a test exactly 1 week later and it said 2-3 weeks pregnant. Is it more likely to be my husbands?! Please help as I'm considering a termination over this even though this child has been long wanted by both my husband and I.
Thanks for listening

I would say it is impossible to get 2-3 weeks only 7 days after sex, the only exception would be if you are having twins or triplets in which case your hormone readings will be higher.

What I would say is that you should have a discussion with your friend About the situation as he may well think he is the father and could say something to your husband.

Do your friend and husband look alike?

Thanks again to all for your replies. I wish I had £100 I could spare for an early scan. Yes my husband and friend do actually look a tad similar (well, they are both approx 6ft,dark hair,average build,both have brown eyes). Their features are different but there are similarities. But my "friend" would never tell my husband. He is a bit of a hippy,travelling type guy. He plays in a band and they travel alot. He has never settled with any girl. He is a ladies man and a notorious cheater. But that never and still doesn't bother me, because we were always and have always been just friends. So his personal life was his business. It was just this one silly night he came to see me after major row with husband and we drank lots of red wine into the early hours and one thing led to the next. If it turned out to be his I could never continue the pregnancy. My friend would not be interested in bein a father ( he never has been) and my husband would never forgive me. I also could
Not live with the guilt of having my husband bring up someone else's child and pretend it to be his :-( stuff like that always comes out in the end and my husband would be devastated. As far as I know twins don't run in my friends family so I'm
Doubtful it's twins. I called an online midwife service earlier today. I explained te situation. I swear I could hear judgment in her voice and I'm positive she was purposely trying to be as unhelpful as possible :-( the call
Ended up in her saying "only way to be sure is tell your husband and your "friend" and when the baby is born do a DNA!!!! THAT is exactly what I'm trying to avoid!! Xx

Oh dear halle, that doesn't sound like a very helpful conversation. Judgement is not what you need.

The only way to be certain may be a DNA test, but you can be pretty damn close to certain from a lot of other information.

I think it is pretty unlikely, from what you've said, that the baby is your friend's.

Apart from all the other things mentioned above, you've also said you had sex over 3 days with your husband, and only once with your friend. It takes the average couple six to twelve months to conceive, and that's when they're trying. Obviously you can conceive from a single rogue incident, but 3 consecutive days of intercourse 2 weeks into your cycle is much more likely. Odds are that 3 days of sex at right point in cycle + fits with test timing + symptoms = husband.

I wish I could suggest a way that you could find out for sure, but I'm afraid that other than an early scan I can't think of one . . .

What a difficult situation. It can't be made any easier by all those pregnancy hormones. Do take care of yourself

The only way to be absolutely 100% certain is a DNA test, yes. But I think you can be about 99% certain, based on everything you've said here, that your husband is the father.

Look, I realise that your main concern is the pregnancy.

But you have apparently had unprotected sex with a 'notorious cheater'. You need an STI test, ASAP, for your own sake and for your DH's.

I know. And I am concerned about this also. And when I see my go next week I will get all the necessary tests carried out. I guess at the moment I'm so caught up in the pregnancy and worry over who's it is to worry about much else just now. Thankfully my DH has not been trying to have sex lately as I have been really "unwell" and flog to bed very early. He doesn't realise I can't eat or sleep and I'm unwell with nerves over this xx

99% certain it's your husbands

Please don't flame me for this.

You can request an early scan on the NHS if you tell them you have bleeding/abdominal pain/history of miscarriage.

In a week or so they should be able to see something and tell you how far along you are if it's your husbands.

It is possible to get early scans on the NHS sometimes, if you have had a previous miscarriage, bleeding or severe pain in this pregnancy or sometimes if you've been seeing a fertility consultant. Does any of that apply to you?

I agree with everyone else btw, there is virtually zero chance that this baby is your friend's.

I won't flame you slithy, but it's worth saying that every appointment given to someone who doesn't have bleeding or a feared miscarriage is an appointment less for people who are going through that stuff.

I have lost 4 pregnancies and had 1 early scan on the NHS due to bleeding. I was not able to get an appointment for several days and the wait was horrible.

Now that I have lost 4 I am under consultant care and will get automatic early scans - I'm guessing this isn't the OP's situation as she's not mentioned anything like that (apologies if I'm wrong). Therefore the only way to get an early scan for free would be to fabricate some MC symptoms and I'm just not sure that's ethical . . .

You may be able to get an early scan because of your irregular periods. I'm not sure an early scan would answer your questions anyway as they can be really bad at predicting how many weeks pregnant you are as a couple of mms can make the difference between 5/6/7 weeks pregnant.

It's good if your friend is not going to say anything, I think it actually makes if harder that both blokes look the same as your friend might see a baby who looks like him (and your dp!) and ask questions.

I'm no expert, but I have 4 years of TTC, tracking cycles, fertility clinics, IVF etc...under my belt and I would say it would be ALMOST impossible to get a BFP a week after having sex. Even if you happened to be ovulating at the exact minute that you had sex with best friend and that fertilised egg implanted immediately it a positive at 7dpo would be highly unlikely.

Currently pregnant after a frozen embryo transfer and this little guy was 5 days old before he was frozen,thawed out and plonked in my uterus and we were told the next 48 would be spent implanting - only after this is finished will the hormone be in your urine and high enough to register on a test. Never mind a Digi which is notoriously less sensitive than ones such as FRERs.

I'm sure there will be some odd Internet story of someone getting a bfp 7dpo, but chances are they have their dates wrong and it isn't truly 7 days later.

Sorry I'm getting boring now!

If I won the lottery I would almost be so bold as to say I would bet every million it was your husbands.

• should add implantation takes anywhere from 2-6 days after sex and then a few more days on top for hormone to get high enough to be detected.

I really am leaving now

I actually did suffer a miscarriage .... And that's the truth. But that was many years ago. Before I even met my husband and I was only very very early on. I am however already suffering from extreme back pain every night. I think if I explainf to my gp that I'm considering termination if the baby is not my husbands I could get an earlier scan?? Maybe the gp will be disgusted in me and make me wait :-( see, this is what I worry about to. The horrified looks of doctors and nurses. Some of who may have trouble having children. And here I am pregnant and considering a termination because I messed up big time. I feel guilty to this child my husband and all the mums out there who struggle to have the chance to carry a child. I just don't see another option if the scan shows the dates are a high possibility that its my friends baby. What a pickle to get myself into. And what a selfish irresponsible woman I have been :-( xx

Halle I can't imagine what you're going through, and this is from a woman who spent half her twenties trying to get pregnant.

I tried to find the best website that would explain what my jibberish post was saying.

www.mommyedition.com/am-i-pregnant-how-early-can-i-take-a-pregnancy-test#1

I found this. Have a read, you'll see it says that to detect pregnancy 6-8 days after sex a blood test will be required and it wouldn't show on a store bought test.

If you're sure it was seven days before the positive test it isn't friends baby

I'm really sorry to hear about your earlier MC, halle. Sadly it will not be enough to get you an early scan. Even having had a recent MMC (11 weeks) wasn't enough to get me an automatic early scan for my next pregnancy. It wasn't until I was placed under consultant care that I got automatic early scans, and they will not usually put you under that level of care until you've had three or more miscarriages.

Speaking as someone who is finding it hard to conceive, I don't feel a jot of resentment towards women who choose to have a termination. Your situation is yours alone, and nothing to do with me or anyone else who may want a baby. I have a close friend who had to have a termination just after my second MC and I felt nothing but sympathy for her. Not everyone is judgy, I promise

As for selfish and irresponsible . . . well, if anyone came on here and posted those things about you, I'd tell 'em to do one . These things happen. Biology's like that. It doesn't do things when you want it to, and it does when it's the worst possible moment. You didn't choose this situation and it's terribly difficult for you. I don't see you as a bad person

Doctors and nurses hear all kinds of things all the time, and they would see that you were upset about this and understand you weren't taking it lightly. And doctors and nurses are just people too. Some of them will have had or known people who've had unplanned pregnancies and terminations. They're there to care for you and they won't punish you for having a horrible decision to make.

If you are having extreme back pain you actually need to go to the GP or call the early pregnancy unit, as it can be a symptom of ectopic pregnancy.

There is another way to get a scan... Go to bpas and say you want an abortion. They won't do anything until they have seen an embryo on the scan (they couldn't see mine 3 weeks after exact conception date).... So they can tell quite easily how far on you are. Then you don't have to go through with the termination (obviously)... And you can call therm directly you don't have to go through your gp and it should be free...

But I agree with all the others... You are really not going to get a positive test 7 days after conception.

I know that lambs. I personally think though that early scans are useful for mental as well as physical issues - I was offered them for this reason. My post was not condoning lying, merely stating it as an option.

Incidentally I was offered early scans off the back of a) not knowing my dates and b) being terrified I would lose the baby.

No bleeding or history of miscarriage. But the stress was driving me up the wall. It can't hurt to ask, different rules apply to different trusts.

Early scans are accurate enough to put your mind at rest on this .

I think the abortion advice clinics may actually be the best way forward - no experience, but surely they will have someone who can advise you, do an early scan, talk you through your options etc?

As regards getting an early scan:

Go to your local Early Pregnancy Unit which offers early scans. You will be at the "back of the queue" behind women with bleeding or pain, but if you wait long enough (and maybe go back a couple of times) then you will probably get a scan.

Many EPUs do not need a GP referral, they are walk in.

Oh and I agree with the rest - there is really no way you'd get a positive pregnancy test 7 days after sex, especially on a clearblue digital or a cheapie. And especially no way you'd get one which said 2-3 weeks pregnant.

Agree with what has been said above re dates. I know exactly when I conceived ( via ovulation sticks and clearblue fertility monitor etc). Fourteen days later I got a positive on a clearblue and that said 1-2 weeks.