What happens after a termination?

[Springheeled]

Apologies, I don't want to upset anyone with this thread but I would really appreciate some info.

I wondered what happens in the immediate aftermath of a surgical termination very early in pregnancy? For example, with bleeding and with the hormones leaving? And with getting home from the clinic?

I know it will just unfold as it unfolds and what will be will be but I want to have some concept of it. Also will I need things like brick sanitary pads?

I know what an mc is like and that left me wiped out for a couple of months, but I lost masses of blood with that which I think was the reason.

The emotional side, I just have NO idea how I will feel so again that is a bridge to cross and I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm imagining the physical side is similar.

And with work- I can't really take time off, or tell anyone there. Am I going to end up needing to? Work require documentation for appointments and time off.

Oh, and I've no idea how long it may last unfortunately. With any hope not too long.

I think it can be quite normal as Tea said it hasn't been long and I think it's normal to have a hormone crash (from what I remember being told) I had the pregnancy symptoms (severe sickness) for several weeks and the doctor said it can take a while for your hormones to settle down. If you feel very dizzy or weak it's worth getting checked over.

Hope you're ok emotionally.

Thanks both, I am ok emotionally about the termination but not ok emotionally generally iyswim. I feel incredibly wobbly and thin skinned. But not regretting the decision or any less relieved, just utterly grotty, spotty and awash with tears

I would say just go with it. Indulge your emotions, curl up and cry. Not easy when you've got children to look after though.

Maybe when they're in bed do whatever it is that brings you comfort be it a long bath, a good film, listening to music, reading a book. For me it would be a big bowl of soup, a cup of tea and some good telly.

We're slaves to our hormones. It's amazing how much they control us.

I think that's normal spring. As Tea says indulge yourself a bit. Your hormones will settle down and you'll feel stronger soon and being kind to yourself now and taking things slowly will help.

*Wobbly and thin skinned" - yes, definitely, that describes how I felt for a month or two after my termination. It made a weird clash with the relief that the time of stress was over and that things were, well, not a problem any more - but I still felt very raw and easily upset for a while.

Remember no matter how sure anyone is about their decision it is still a MASSIVE thing to go through, plus you are swimming in hormones and the after-effects of the shock and stress of finding you were unexpectedly pregnant.

peach and allyouneed are so right. Just take things slowly and indulge yourself at the moment.

Thanks both, it's hard as work is a real pressure. I was so wanting to make a great start this year but it's so hard at the mo to get my head straight. I can just about go the five hours and after school revision but that's it, then nothing left for the dcs in the evening energy wise. Exh has been a godsend of kindness and support.
In the evenings I get so bloated, painfully so. I wonder when that will get better?

I'd give it a few days but if you're still bloated maybe see the.GP? I do remember the antibiotics made me ill for a few days.x

I've admitted defeat: woke up with stinking cold, throat, sinus and phoned in sick. Now having a wibble and a wobble and a cry under the duvet. Much needed.

Just what you need i think. Our bodies have a funny way of forcing us into defeat if we don't give ignore time enough to recover.

Be kind to yourself

I second what Thurlow said about seeing a GP if the pain and bloating continues. I can't say i remember the bloating afterwards but that's not to say it's unusual.

Indulge yourself today

If we don't give it enough time to recover. I do wish my phone wouldn't second guess what i want to say!

How are you feeling today Spring?

Thanks for asking- full of cold and a bit weepy still. In general I am not good with hormones and these ones are quite fearsome- just reminding myself that all my anxiety and sad thoughts are a passing symptom and not to be taken to heart.
I can't wait to feel ok again! To run and swim and be in my body if you see what I mean.
I'm also thinking about the need to be assertive- to stand up for myself better both at work and with men. I mean, don't get me wrong- I don't have any dealings with men or go dating but I haven't dealt well with any men who have crossed my path recently and am wondering what stopped me being more assertive and less reckless with myself.

Hi Spring hope you are feeling a little better today. You seem to be dealing with things really well and you sound very strong
I know what you mean about the anxiety though, the hormones really do play cruel tricks on us at times. I couldn't even read a book or concentrate on anything at all really for a good month or so but slowly it did get better

Thanks thisis but I'm seriously not doing well in the strong dept- had a massive wobble today and phoned the aftercare line to be told that most people have it all sorted by now.... .
I think I'm still in shock mainly.

Yes I think that you are still in shock definitely. Just be kind to yourself. Were the aftercare line not very nice then? What do they mean "most people have it all sorted by now"?

I remember phoning the aftercare line at least 15-20 times and that isn't even an exaggeration. I think it drove me mad the whole thing to be honest.

It's wrapped up in fear and stress about work- just couldn't have come at a worse time the whole situation right bang at the start of term, when I'd had high hopes of starting the year positively.
Yes, I asked how long roughly I might feel hormonal and weird and tearful for and the woman on the line said everyone else managed to function normally by now.
She was a bit unhelpful really.
Anyway, I just wish everyone knew and then everyone would just give me a fortnight's grace, a bit of time and space and leeway, to get my head and body together. I don't even mean time off, just an absence of pressure and hassle and expectation. And some understanding and then I'd be fine.
But I can't tell everyone, so it is just going to confirm everyone's suspicions that I am inexplicably useless!!!

I don't believe for one minute that most people have it 'sorted' by now. It's such a personal thing that there is no normal recovery time. What an extremely helpful person.

With regards to work, i know it's not nice to lie but would it help to tell them you've had a miscarriage? People don't generally ask too many questions. I didn't tell anyone that myself but a couple of people presumed and i didn't correct them.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with it. It's such a difficult place to be. Please keep posting here.

Thanks allyouneed actually work was good for me today- keeps my mind off things. I still feel a bit nauseous and faint at around 4,5,6,7 o clock, and a bit bloated. I wonder when I will get my body back?

I can't really tell anyone it was a miscarriage or an abortion as that would kind of reveal me to be a person who has random shags, which I am actually not, not at all!!! This was really quite out of character for me, to say the least. Having had an mc I don't think I could ever lie that I had had one- I have been trying to concoct some kind of gynae lie in my head but that won't wash really.

Spring, this might be bullshit cod psychology but it sounds a little like part of your shock and upset is related to your hope that this year was going to be positive, and also that you haven't dated in a while?

It seems like you have a lot else on your mind at the moment and it's all tied up with the pregnancy and the termination? That must make it so much harder for you. It's no surprise you are taking a while to feel better. It must have been an enormous shock.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend by suggesting you lie about it being a mc. And fair enough that you don't want people making judgements about your private life. Plain old gynaecological problems is usually enough for people to accept without probing further though if you felt you needed to say something.

I'm not sure about the bloating as i don't remember that. It might be worth a trip to the GP just to be checked out. Maybe mention the light headedness too. Everything's probably okay but it's a case of how long should you persevere with physical symptoms presuming them to be normal before being checked out?

I'm glad your work was good today. I always found work to be a welcome distraction. Good days and bad days. Eventually the bad days will get fewer and the good days more frequent.

It had occurred to me to lie and say it was an mc allyouneed- I wasn't offended by your suggestion, I just had to discount it as an option after thinking of it as I knew I'd feel all wrong trying to pull it off. When I did have my mc I tried to hush it up at work and it ended up backfiring in the end as I trudged on not telling anyone then got very anaemic and exhausted and it looked like I had just flaked out for a week (which I sort of had really)
I really like the idea of the good days getting more frequent :)

thurlow yes, I don't think that's cod psychology- more hitting the nail on the head. I just feel very self defeating! I really need to stop making mistakes- but I never know I have made them until I have made them!

Don't feel self-defeating! It's nothing that you have done. It was just a series of bad timings.

Is there any excuse you can come up with to explain why you're under the weather at the moment?

I feel so much better now mood wise. On the other hand, I still feel bloated, soreish in my abdomen and a little nauseous. I am having mad thoughts that it may not have worked... I am quite sure it did. But disconcerted by the continued odd feeling in lower abdomen. Is it usual?

I know felt funny for quite a few weeks but I was still vommiting a bit. I'd see the doctor or call the clinic if i were you just to be safe. It could be that they were a bit rough and that's left you sore or it could be a minor infection (i remember being told to contact the clinic if I was worried, which I did for bleeding and they were very quick to see me and investigate).

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better emotionally. Keep being kind to yourself and look after yourself.