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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

What happens after a termination?

78 replies

Springheeled · 18/09/2014 18:45

Apologies, I don't want to upset anyone with this thread but I would really appreciate some info.

I wondered what happens in the immediate aftermath of a surgical termination very early in pregnancy? For example, with bleeding and with the hormones leaving? And with getting home from the clinic?

I know it will just unfold as it unfolds and what will be will be but I want to have some concept of it. Also will I need things like brick sanitary pads?

I know what an mc is like and that left me wiped out for a couple of months, but I lost masses of blood with that which I think was the reason.

The emotional side, I just have NO idea how I will feel so again that is a bridge to cross and I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm imagining the physical side is similar.

And with work- I can't really take time off, or tell anyone there. Am I going to end up needing to? Work require documentation for appointments and time off.

OP posts:
PicardyThird · 18/09/2014 23:02

Oh, and normal pads were adequate throughout, no bricks needed.

Agrestic · 18/09/2014 23:05

You're a braver women then I am. Good luck Flowers

AllYouNeedIsTea · 19/09/2014 10:57

Thinking of you today spring.

Thurlow · 19/09/2014 12:01

Thinking of you, spring, and wishing you all the best today Flowers

TheWanderingUterus · 19/09/2014 12:12

Thinking of you Spring x

Original poster
Springheeled · 19/09/2014 16:26

All done. Many thanks all, you have helped more than you can imagine. Maybe I can write about it later, that might help somebody else.
Thanks again all xx

OP posts:
Thurlow · 19/09/2014 16:27

I hope you feel ok x

Original poster
Springheeled · 19/09/2014 16:45

Thanks Thurlow I do, just a bit vacant, from the shock I think. It was very quick. I didn't have any sedation but I did nearly break the nurses' hands Blush! I was shaky afterwards but settled down. I had to have a few glucose tablets before they let me go.

I was very tearful in the scan and having second thoughts of sorts, I can't really explain... The man who did it was just so kind, he helped to put my mind totally at rest that this was the right decision, but he did it very gently and with humour and no persuasion.

I know that nurses and docs are just people at work, not angels etc! but wow they were all so lovely and reassuring and down to earth.

The clinic was soooo busy. There were at least ten of us just in the short time I was there. I doubted the 1 in 3 stat before but not now!

OP posts:
Thurlow · 19/09/2014 17:02

The clinics always are so busy. That's why I'm so surprised people don't talk about it more.

Do you have any time for a bit of TLC this evening? At least curl up with the kids and a film, get some takeaway?

Original poster
Springheeled · 19/09/2014 17:16

I think people don't talk about it more like they don't talk about many things- others' judgement, the fact that there's ALWAYS someone who says something bloody stupid (me in the past I expect, I'm sure I've come out with a line or two in the past about how can anyone get pregnant by accident these days or 'oh I don't think I could ever do that') and a sense of shame- which I expect comes from the general way we as women are always supposed to be ashamed about something or other to do with our sexuality and reproduction or our behaviour...... Even mumsnet, which has been in existence for years, needed the jog along to get this thread together!! Anyway, maybe the more we speak the easier it will get.

I'll be ok tonight, exh has dcs and I think they'll drop in but the nurse thought it not ideal for me to be jumped on by an energetic dd this evening, or to do any lifting or be pulled about, so I don't think they'll stay long :( oh well, back to normal soon .... And no men in future! Ever!!!!!

OP posts:
Thurlow · 19/09/2014 17:19

Grin Not no men ever. Just only the ones that bring you tea and chocolate.

Hope you can get some rest tonight. I know it's been a long and confusing day but try and do something that will help you relax and wind down a bit so you can hopefully get some sleep.

Original poster
Springheeled · 19/09/2014 21:48

Thanks Thurlow and all who helped me get to and through today. No regrets. The man in the clinic said this is life, one thing after, and we just try to do our best and make the best decisions we can at the time and keep moving. We are very fortunate here indeed to have access to termination, and to the NHS. And to this new board for women who need to talk about termination.

OP posts:
Agrestic · 20/09/2014 03:17

So glad today went well, sping. Take it easy for a few days and enjoy your dc :)

It was really busy when I went around 5 years ago. I recognised the women from my initial appointment at the hospital. There was a girl the same age as me who was terribly upset. If I think about the abortion it's her I think about tbh, I hope she was alright. I really regret not speaking to her but wasn't sure if I should at the time.

AllYouNeedIsTea · 20/09/2014 10:23

Really glad it went well Spring. I think its good that the ex took the dcs for the night so that you could just spend some time looking after yourself. I hope you're still feeling positive today. Smile

Thurlow · 20/09/2014 12:50

Did you manage to get any sleep?

thisisnow · 20/09/2014 16:37

Offering hugs and Brew.

I had a surgical at 14 weeks and was fine physically afterwards. Mentally I was not but that's a whole different story. I hope you're ok tonight xx

Original poster
Springheeled · 20/09/2014 17:50

Thank you all- I feel ok, a bit drained. Not much blood???

Mentally, I think the scan was the worst part, but the conversation afterwards with the man who did it was really helpful. And being around the dcs and knowing that the decision to terminate means that I can be more present for them, not just in the next few months but for the next few years. It's made me see life anew and reaffirmed my priorities. I don't know if I'll be hit again later with hormones etc and regret but at the moment I don't think so.

I know I have to be a whole lot more sure of my instincts also- I knew I wasn't really ready to date and I shied away from dating this man and I should have stuck to my guns on that rather than taking the 'oh well let's try this out, maybe my instincts are wrong' attitude. What's the worst that could happen? What did happen!

OP posts:
Thurlow · 20/09/2014 18:45

My bleeding went on an off, though it was a medical termination. You might be fortunate though and not have too much.

It's great that you are finding some positives to focus on. It is a horrible, upsetting situation to be in but if you can find any positives, keep thinking about them. And for me, knowing that I had made the difficult decision for the best for my daughter was what helped me most.

AllYouNeedIsTea · 20/09/2014 18:55

My bleeding was heavy after my medical termination but after the erpc i had to have afterwards I hardly had any. I suppose they remove the bulk of it which is good. Maybe you won't have too much more.

MrsDavidBowie · 20/09/2014 19:00

I had bleeding afterwards but was back at work in two days.
Emotionally I Have never had regrets or what its...it was the right thing to do.

MrsDavidBowie · 20/09/2014 19:00

What ifs

PeachOwl · 20/09/2014 20:27

Glad you're feeling ok Spring. I found doing stuff (when I felt up to it) with my dc was really useful, it just drove home how much I couldn't have done if I hadn't had the termination. Don't worry about the emotional side, just work through things as you feel them and remember to be kind to yourself for a while yet.

thisisnow · 20/09/2014 20:58

I had little to no bleeding afterwards, don't know why it made me panic even more, I think I just expected there to be loads but there was none. Sorry for TMI Thanks

Original poster
Springheeled · 24/09/2014 16:41

Oh Crikey I think I am having a massive hormone crash, I feel awful- dizzy, tearful, useless and grubby. How long is this set to last?? Is it normal??? I thought I was fine but today I am clearly not :(((

OP posts:
AllYouNeedIsTea · 24/09/2014 17:22

I would imagine it's quite normal. It's not even been a week since the procedure yet has it? I guess as you say your hormones will be crashing around now. I became anaemic after mine too (although it was medical so lots of blood) so i made sure i look vitamins.

You don't have any pain in the pelvic area at all?