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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant again! - I'm happy, but DH not!

137 replies

baggybear · 25/07/2005 08:35

Hi! I haven't been on for a while but I need somebody to chat to who is impartial!

I've just found out I'm pregnant with #4. I'm happy but my DH isn't. Not really sure what to do. I does love me, I know that and he has told me. That is why this is so hard for him. I feel as though I've got to keep any symptoms quiet (just starting to get a bit of morning sickness)so its not in his face. I know he'll come round in the end, but I need some friendly words from somebody.

OP posts:
Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 22:56

catching up on goss??!! baby mags for me now!! spoke to my midwife friend today(you know which one ) and she was really good. have asked her to be my named midwife so should see her most of time and have her to deliver, all being well. And, don't ned to see GP or register pregnancy with surgery coz she will give me notes and forms - bonus. They don't see you now til your 12 weeks, y'know!

OP posts:
blueteddy · 25/07/2005 22:59

Really? It has all changed from 2 years ago then!
It is good that she can be your MW though. You were hoping 4 her last time wern't you?

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:04

I think you may have to allow dh to have his little op after this baby though don't you?!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:04

yeah. really wanted her to do hat-trick. but it wasn't to be. Already thinking of a water birth at birthing centre. M/W will try to talk me into a home birth, I know but not for me, especially with 3 others running round! need my break in hosp for few days!!

OP posts:
blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:05

Quite right!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:06

oh def! i'll take him to doctors myself!!!!! or do it myself with a couple of bricks! will tell him this when he is a bit happier. he might think i'm taking the p**s if i say it now

OP posts:
blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:07

The DIY option sounds like a good one to me!
Yeah, leave it a week or so before bringing it up!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:09

Have to laugh though. I can't sleep a wink at ATM so thinking a lot. Already worried what i'm going to call him! I've run out of boys names i like (without nicking other peoples choices!)

OP posts:
Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:09

Coz, lets face it, he will be a boy!!

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:09

I am going to have to go to bed now coz I am feeling rather tired!
Hope you are feeling a bit better now.
I am sure everything will work out just fine.xxx

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:11

night night hun. thanks for chat. feel much better now hope you get good nights sleep. love to boys. oh, drop DS1 off at mine at 3pm on wednesday an I will take him in my car.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:12

You never know what the stork may bring!
You have a few months to decide on names though!
Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.
Take care.xx

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 23:13

Oh excellent! I will drop him at yours at 3pm.
He is looking forward to it!
Night!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 23:14

Night! XXXXXXXXXXX

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blueteddy · 26/07/2005 10:11

How are things today BB?

Original poster
baggybear · 26/07/2005 13:20

Hmmm, okay with DH. Got a bit worried this morning coz I had a little bleed. I think I'm doing too much. To try and make DH happy, I'm doing everything - housework, cooking proper meals, washing up, looking after the kids and all the running around that involves. He's not really doing a fair share. I'm trying to creep round him, but I'm making it hard for myself. I don't want to start saying "oh, I feel sick" or "I'm struggling" coz I'm frightened he'll just say it my own fault and if I want this baby i'll have to put up with it. I DO want baby and I will put up with it but I won't risk my health or baby's. Does that make sense???

OP posts:
marne · 26/07/2005 13:49

Hi baggybear, your dh sounds like mine, he didnt realy want another, he had me running around after him until i had a bleed last week, take it easy, put your feet up and tell dh to look after you.

blueteddy · 26/07/2005 16:26

Take it easy BB.
I am glad your dh is calmer now though.

Original poster
baggybear · 26/07/2005 17:53

Marne - is everything okay now, though? Hope so. How many weeks are you?

Blueteddy - I will, I promise! Doing quick dinner tonight then settling down to watch holby city!!

OP posts:
blueteddy · 26/07/2005 21:09

Hope you are putting your feet up now!

Original poster
baggybear · 27/07/2005 09:03

Morning, Blueted! Morning all!

Yeas Blueted, by that time last evening I was watching TV. Having a chilled morning seeing as I'm taking 6 kids bowling this afternoon!! Got friend coming too, so should be okay.

Is your DS1 excited?

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blueteddy · 27/07/2005 09:42

Hi BB!
Glad to hear you had a chilled evening last night & were able to put your feet up!
Hope you are going to do the same this morning in preperation 4 the big event this afternoon!!!
Ds1 is really looking forward to it!
I bet your ds2 is very excited!
How many children have you got going?

blueteddy · 27/07/2005 09:43

Sorry, you answered my last question in your last post!!!
It is still too early 4 me to be functioning properly!
Has the bleeding stopped now?

Original poster
baggybear · 27/07/2005 09:49

Yeah its stopped but I'm in that really paranoid stage where i'm running to the bathroom every 5 mins to check i'm not bleeding. Now I've got him i don't want to loose him.

Hed good talk to DH last night. Told him I couldn't avoid talking about it anymore coz i'm starting to feel rough and I can't do everything anymore. We both had a good cry but still not sure where i stand. He said he definitely doesn't want me to "get rid" - which is a good job, coz I wouldn't!! - so he is getting used to it but just very slowly. Told him I had a bleed and i think that scared him a bit. I just want my DH back, the one i know and love, not the one I can't talk to or can't look at me

OP posts:
blueteddy · 27/07/2005 10:17

Oh bless! That is a BIG improvement though isn't it?
It is good that he definitely does not want you to terminate & that your bleed actually scared him a bit.
I know that although my H wouldn't have forced me into termination, he would have been over the moon if I had said that I was prepared to go through with one when we found out about ds2.
He was also praying for miscarraige at the time. (although he didn't admit it till much later)
I am sure you & H will be just fine very soon. It is all still a shock ATM.