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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant again! - I'm happy, but DH not!

137 replies

baggybear · 25/07/2005 08:35

Hi! I haven't been on for a while but I need somebody to chat to who is impartial!

I've just found out I'm pregnant with #4. I'm happy but my DH isn't. Not really sure what to do. I does love me, I know that and he has told me. That is why this is so hard for him. I feel as though I've got to keep any symptoms quiet (just starting to get a bit of morning sickness)so its not in his face. I know he'll come round in the end, but I need some friendly words from somebody.

OP posts:
Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 09:25

But because i wanted another baby so much i think he thinks i "tricked" him into it. But that just isn't true. At the end of the day I would rather be pregnant and him be happy about it. I love him too much to risk our marriage. Thing is I want both things - my husband and my baby. I know things will work out for the best and I know eventually, once we've worked out where we are going to put our family and how we are going to transport them, things will be fine. Its just waiting for them to get fine...

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Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 09:27

Blueted - i've got to go now and get kids sorted to go out. Will you be on later tonight? DH goes to work at 9.30 so could meet you then.

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 09:30

Yep I will be around!
Take care.

Loobie · 25/07/2005 09:45

This happened to me with number 3,we werent planning anymore and along she came,he refused to talk about it and made my life hell from the day i done the test we split when i was 5 months pg because i just couldnt take his attitude over the baby any more as you say he is 50% to blame too,but hey dd is now nearly 3 and the most wonderful thing in my life,along with her brothers of course.I am still on my own with the kids but happy,if he could treat an unborn baby how would he have treated her when she got here,the answer to that was given when she arrived and still shows that he didnt want her so we are better off on our own.
hope you have a better time of it than me and he comes round in time.

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 16:55

Afternoon all. thanks for all your views on this. I'm feeling much more positive this afternoon bout things. Spoken to my midwife friend, and she has been really good to chat to. DH is talking to me normally again so things are looking up.

Really want to get excited about this baby and feel i'm being held back - is that selfish?

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Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:34

blueteddy - are you there??!!

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:36

I am here! How are you feeling now?

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:38

Have you had a talk with dh tonight?

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:45

Have you dissapeared???

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:50

Sorry, just writing email to friend I gave all my baby clothes to!!!!!! Better have them back at some point!!!!!

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Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:51

DH still not normal with me but much better. Actually having physical contact (hugs etc). Yesterday, he couldn't even look at me!

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:51

Yeah I guess you had better!

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:51

Really? Well that is an improvement then!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:53

Not sure when things will be back to normal, or as normal as they can be. A bit scared that he might do a runner. Still at the back of my mind. Your DH came round in the end tho, didn't he?

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:53

Have you told your Mum yet?

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:54

Yes he did & he adores ds2 to bits now!
It took a while though.

Angeliz · 25/07/2005 21:54

don't really have any advice but wanted to say Congratulations anyway+

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:55

Yeah. my mum knows but haven't told DH mum yet. will do that on wednesday when she sees DS2 for birthday. My mum happy, I think. she laughed and said "wot are you trying to do to me!!??!!??" Bless her - she loves it!!!

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Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 21:56

thank you angeliz! just that makes me feel much better

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 21:59

I bet your Mum is pleased!
When I spoke to her at your ds3's party last week, she said how she was waiting for your brother to have a baby because you were not going to have any more!

blueteddy · 25/07/2005 22:01

You had just got to the stage where you could have a drink again too!

Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 22:04

I know, she told me that you were all discussing whether I would have more. When I told her I wanted another months ago, she said she didn't blame me for wanting that. I think deep down she wanted to have more than 2. Silly thing is I know everyone else is happy for us but the most important person in this isn't happy. I don't care what anyone else thinks, apart from DH.

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Original poster
baggybear · 25/07/2005 22:05

OOOO, i know (regarding drinking thing). Just got the taste back for the old vino. Got right into the rose this summer!

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blueteddy · 25/07/2005 22:08

I am sure he will be ok soon, but I know what you mean.
I hated feeling reponsible for making dh miserable when I was pregnant with ds2.

Angeliz · 25/07/2005 22:08

I'm glad.