what you REALLY want to say when asked "how are you?" but don't!

[heth1980]

All throughout my pregnancy (am nearly 37 weeks) people have been asking me how I am and i always say "fine thanks". I've been a bit more honest recently and have even admitted to being a bit tired to a couple of people, but what I really want to say is:

1. I'm so tired I can't think straight anymore
2. I feel like someone has deposited a concrete boulder in my pelvis and it's slowly splitting me in 2
3. I am SICK of going for a wee
4. I cannot get comfy no matter what I try 5)I am scared of having to give birth again 6)I am scared I won't be able to cope with an oppinionated toddler and a newborn
5. I am scared that my piles will get so big they will take over the world.

anyone else like to tell me how they really are?

Oh you poor things. DS is now 2 but I remember the 4am waking-up-with-heartburn episodes like it was yesterday!

Something that really annoyed me a few months ago though - my uncle talking about how ill my cousin was when she was pg. I said "oh, it's awful isn't it?" my gran turned to me and said "but you weren't ill though were you?" in quite an accusing tone
actually, I had diaorrhea(sp?) and constipation at the same time, nausea for 4 months, heartburn for 5 months, backache for 6 months, a 24 hour labour which ended in cs and to top it all off PND for 2 years! I'm just not the sort to tell the world

But one the whole I enjoyed pregnancy, which is why I would just say "great thanks, can't wait for him to arrive "

Good luck everyone!

38+6 today feeling shittier than a shitty thing in shitland

• have had bad SPD from about 25 weeks cannot move unless I dope myself up on strong painkillers which I hate taking
• ditto acid reflux
• feel like I am walking with a melon between my legs
• cannot drive or walk
• a good cough or sneeze and I am done for
• scared of labour again
• fed up getting told it will be easy for me as it's DC4
• fed up with being told how neat my bump is
• fed up getting told how happy I must be at finally getting a boy
• fed up peeing every 5 minutes and feeling my pelvic floor is on the floor 5 minutes behind the rest of me

i love this thread! I was just wondering who I could moan to. It's my first day of maternity leave and I have tonsilitis which came on suddenly last night.

I have spd so can't walk further than the end of the road.

I really want to have sex, but it's too painful with the old pelvis thing.

i'm gutted that I haven't finished my phd, and will now have to write it up with a baby rather than just enjoy having a baby and 2 children in school.

i have chafing between my legs, now inflamed from the olbas oil bubble bath i had earlier. ouch.

Mpuppkin I feel for you - I am starting to get the insanely annoying "are you sure it's not twins" comments - despite having LOST a stone in the first 3 months and only recently starting to weigh more than I did in the first place!

I feel like saying: I'm carrying a whole baby round with me, so yes, I look bigger than normal. What's your excuse?!

I'm pleased I found this thread because I see that there are a few others like me who have not stopped vomiting throughout the pregnancy. At yoga/NCT etc. I feel like I'm the only person & no-one understands!

I also notice that even people who are not puking their guts up are all struggling with different things - not getting sleep, heartburn, tiredness and missing the joys of non-pregnancy (I'll take sex over wine any day). Yay, people who understand what it's like!

It's good to have a good old rant and even better to have company doing it! So thanks guys!

I'm fed up of having the same conversation everyday with countless people - "How long have you got to go now?", "Do you know what it is yet?"... Have got to the stage where I am avoiding neighbours and anybody else who looks like they might want to talk to me. Too huge as well to hide it effectively (37 weeks). Damn it.

Also husband is working himself into an early grave, decorating and doing countless crap every night after work. Feel very guilty and lazy...

Crumbs I was feeling dreadful till I read that lot. Funnily enough I feel marginally better now! But I gave up and had a glass of wine tonight!

31 + 1

I too swig gaviscon and lactulose straight from the bottle.

I cannot believe how I am passing these giant ball shaped pooh's (with a lot of effort and pain) And I have to have iron on top now which I am certain will help no end. Not.

I am totally sick of the sound of my pelvis 'clicking' back into place (SPD) and being overtaken by pensioners.

I cannot believe the idiots I work with (my boss!) who thinks they can save money by not covering my maternity leave. What on earth do they think I do all day long? I only wish I could be there to witness the mutiny.

My legs are starting to swell in the warmer weather.... eek at least I can wear flipflops without looking a complete prat.

I also get 'You're huge, you're having a boy with that bump (we didn't find out and I am carrying exactly the same as with DD go figure) and today to top it all someone actually said to me You're face is getting really fat. OMG.

Yeah, I'm doing just grand thanks!

How am I?

-So exhausted that I have taken to pinching my hand in ward rounds to keep awake

-In moderate to severe neck pain, for which I can no longer use my trusty ibuprofen gel

-Sufficiently anaemic that I wheeze like an old lady when climbing stairs

-Severely constipated, to the point of having to give myself a manual evacuation a few weeks ago

-Fed up of fucking All-Bran for breakfast

-In desperate need of a full bottle of Chablis to myself, and maybe even a cig

So, fine, thanks!

No, not really any cravings (other than for that brie sandwich and large glass of wine you just ordered in front of me you inconsiderate cow).

I am not sure if this thread has made me smile more or be wary of whats to come - hopefully...

Only 5 +3 ....

I am tired but often not tired enough to sink into a nice sleep

My brain feels a bit mushy and lack concentration

I am eating too much good and bad stuff

Tingly sore boobs

Pre-tending to myself just to get on as normal (cept safety stuff) as its early days and not to get excited as last time all bad stuff happended but really I am looking up bits n bobs and thinking about dates.

Yes I too am lying to people havnt even told mom.

I am 27 weeks
Vaguely incontinent
Completely unprepared for a BABY
With SPD as a special third birth add on

35+1. Tired. So very very tired. I am sure the fact that I am anaemic despite vast quantities of SpaTone doesn't help.

And so incredibly annoyed that when all I want to do is sleep, it's the one thing I seem incapable of doing. No sooner have I perfected my little bed nest of pillows than I realise that a) My hips hurt and I have to turn around and b) I need a wee. Repeat half hourly through the night, until my three-year-old starts bouncing on the bed and declaring that she wants breakfast.

Also, sore. My breech baby is kicking up a jig on my bladder/pelvic floor and it's enough to make me scream from time to time.

Oh, and I hate people. They keep asking me when I'm due and then giving me this disbelieving look when they find out that no, it's not tomorrow. And this has been happening for two months already!

Running out of clothes that I can wear outside the house. Getting to the point where wearing the gigantic black maternity tracksuit bottoms seems like my only option. Who cares if I expose a serious amount of lady garden in the process?

I am also really hungry in the evenings but can't let myself eat after eight as it means I have to battle serious heartburn all night. Sometimes I give in anyway.

Wow, it feels good to vent. Of course I'm delighted about the baby, but carrying it is SUCH HARD WORK.

TheArmadillo made me laugh. You sound like Computer Says No woman.

Feel particularly sorry for Twinkle - you poor thing.

I'm another indiscriminate moaner, and am probably already being avoided by alot of people.

I'm 13+1, and there is too much to post, really.

• I can't sleep
• I'm exhausted
• I feel sick ALL THE TIME.
• I throw up every day
• I'm already uncomfortable anyway I sit/lie.
• People say 'it gets worse later'. This was the worst bit last time. And why would they say that?
• 'You'll stop feeling sick soon'. Not if it's like last time I won't.

And, and, and.... I F*ing HATE BEING PREGNANT.

.

33+5 and If i answered honestly

1. I am so tired i would just like to go to sleep and wake up in 6 weeks time.

2. My sense of hearing and smell are so sensitive that DH's every cough, sneeze or breath make me want to physically harm him.

3. I am worried about so many things that i'm not sure i'll relax enough to enjoy motherhood.

4. NO, i'm not prepared, there is no nursery or birth plan yet...the baby will sleep in a draw (just kidding)

5. I have but on 15KG so i don't believe you when you admire my neat bump because i feel like an elephant.

hmmmmm not as cathartic as i'd hoped...i really need a cigarette and some alcohol and a holiday.

35+1

• i am so tired i could sleep sitting up if it wasnt for the huge amount of pain im in
• i havent slept through the night (not even ignoring toilet visits) since 20weeks and i actually think im going mad
• my husband is annoying the hell out of me, hes either fussing too much or just plain ignoring me
• i know i dont have long left, that doesnt make trying to survive through unimaginable pain any better
• i resemble an elephant crossed with a hippo, heavily pregnant one at that...ugh
• i can no longer get upstairs without wanting to chop my legs off with the pain and thus havent showered in days, as also standing makes me feel sick dizzy and in pain, so im pretty sure i stink
• mainly i am just scared, scared that im going to be left suffering from this pregnancy for the rest of my life and whilst i will love this child and never hold it against her, right now, i wish i hadnt got pregnant again

but instead what i say is: same old same old

ahaha
i love all the comments!

only bout 10 weeks(dont think gp got my dates right , anyway...)

-sore boobs(which is a shame since quite happy they are bigger)
-pin and needles, numb arms/legs, sometimes for 10 hours which drives me up the wall
( which i am sure its related to pregnancy, doctor doesnae think so...im having to do countless blood tests, arms super sore now like pin cushions!!)
-cant get myself to tell anybody i am pregnant so find stupid excuses at work not to lift heavy things...
-for the same reason, having to find excuses too not to have a drink with friends and neigbours..
-while actually dying for a drink...ps just bought a bottle of rum to do nice mojitos , found out i was pregnant the day after... gutted :-)
-sick of having to have to cremate my eggs and eat cheddar cheese
-wanting to cry when hubby went on space mountain in eurodisney and have to wait outside as "not recommended for expecting mother"

I've had hg since 15 weeks now have infection in water and blood - in hospital on wednesday which is when i found out the latter of the illnesses - must have been asked 20 times the next day - Are you feeling better??

OH yes so much better - not only am i dehydrated and wee'ing every 30 mins, it now bloody hurts when i do so, i fall over every time i stand up, and my temp is through the roof - i told you all this yesterday - but yes is ALL gone now and i feel great!!!

Now P* off!

I am 14 weeks and when ppl ask how I am this is what i would loovee to say..

what do u freakin think u idiot im pregnant!
-constipated
-sick 24/7
-cant leave the house without taking a spew bag!
-sooo put off food even the thought makes me sick
-thirsty so thirsty!
-Bloated
-headachey
-Grumpy/emotional...basket case
-people telling me my boobs are huge..um no sh1t u think i havnt noticed when I have to move them out the way to see my tummy:/

and my favourite - After all this pain and suffering ive gotta push this thing out of me??? um no thanks i change my mind!!!!!

30 weeks -

No i'm not bloody okay. My back aches and my vag looks like a cheeseburger. Not to mention my nipples are free flowing a milky river and I've got discharge thick as dairyleigh!

35+6

I'm so sick of myself and my moaning and people constantly calling me and asking how I am I wanna scream "Everything sucks! Now bog off!"

20 weeks

• I'm tired ALL THE TIME and sick of people telling me it will get better - it hasn't yet, has it? and it means I can't concentrate at work which is horrible as I love my job
• always: thirsty / hungry / needing to pee / constipated / piles / discharge / snotty
• for some reason I have developed awful dandruff I can't do anything about (why, why?)
• want this baby so badly am just terrified it isn't going to work out ok, even though I know there's no reason it shouldn't
• craving sweets / chocolate / cake / biscuits / crisps all the time and just can't blame the baby for it!
• everything, everything has changed - clothes / sleeping / emotions / plans / the way I sit, stand, move... nothing to ground myself with, I'm not 'myself'!

Why do people expect you to be fine? And why is it so damn hard to explain to anyone?!!

Hah! Beccas, I got overtaken by a pensioner yesterday using a walking stick.

Had a [male] colleague ask me 'Why DO pregnant women waddle when they walk?' I replied 'Because we have somebody's head in our pelvis. '

Was worth it for the look of disgust on his face. Why do you think, ffs.

This is my first post on mumsnet and I am soooooo glad I found this thread.

32wks with my first. What I'd love to say:

1. Yes, I'm still being sick, no it doesn't stop at wk12, and BTW don't get too close as I haven't brushed my teeth for two days as it makes me gag so violently.

1. Why would you want to touch my bump you freak?

1. You're a midwife, surely you're meant to listen to the response if you ask how I am.

1. I hate myself for wishing I'd never got pregnant.

1. I've found out its possible to suffer from constipation and diarreoh(sp?)at the same time

1. I'm so tired I can't sleep - why do you feel the need to tell me it will be worse when the baby comes? Can't you see I'm about to burst into tears anyway?

1. I'm bored even though my house looks like a pigsty.

1. I feel like such a failure for having to give up work already

I'm sure I'll be back to add some more - probably about 4am......

Dear everyone who has posted

I'm currently 30 weeks and these posts have literally filled em with joy.

It's reassuring to know that it's not just me

Thank you all very much

I just say "yes fine thanks."

Unless it is DH that asks, then my responses make me sound like a spoilt toddler: "I'm hungry!" "I'm tired!" "I need a wee!" "buy me some sweets!" etc etc

• I'm only 26 weeks but the spd is so bad that I can't open my legs wide enough to have sex any more so I'm questioning how I will manage to actually get the baby out.

• when I sneeze, a little bit of wee comes out.

• When I sat down at a crowded bus stop the other day, the seat made a loud creaking noise and everyone turned to stare at me.

• fed up with 'well meaning' strangers or friends kindly informing me "oh, you really shouldn't be eating that". BACK OFF.

I'm only 6+4 and my list already goes:

1. I need to pee so please get out of the bathroom....yes I know its the 6th time already and it's only 9am....GET OUT!!
2. I'm short tempered with my DD who's 3.....
3. I feel so guilty about being short tempered I cry.....
4. Yes I realise it's just a film but WALL-E is one of the most romantic films EVER and I'll sob if I flaming well want to!
5. I swear if your clothes don't find their own way to the washbin I will actually KILL YOU!
6. I'm a wee bit emotional
7. Im too hot get off me.....Im sooooo cold cuddle me and warm me up
8. My boobs are already huge (although I quite like this one)
9. I'm working 12 hours shifts, with no breaks, running the house, taking care of DD and am so tired I cry but if you tell me one more time how tired you are too when you only work 4 hours a day (sitting down!), can and do stay in bed till 11AM and can eat what you like without throwing it up I will kick you in your man parts!

You alright babe......?

Yeah Im fine