what you REALLY want to say when asked "how are you?" but don't!

[heth1980]

All throughout my pregnancy (am nearly 37 weeks) people have been asking me how I am and i always say "fine thanks". I've been a bit more honest recently and have even admitted to being a bit tired to a couple of people, but what I really want to say is:

1. I'm so tired I can't think straight anymore
2. I feel like someone has deposited a concrete boulder in my pelvis and it's slowly splitting me in 2
3. I am SICK of going for a wee
4. I cannot get comfy no matter what I try 5)I am scared of having to give birth again 6)I am scared I won't be able to cope with an oppinionated toddler and a newborn
5. I am scared that my piles will get so big they will take over the world.

anyone else like to tell me how they really are?

(28wks with no 2)
i always say i am ok but actually i'm depressed, knackered, fat, constipated, trying to arrange a house move in the weeks after planned c-sec, know i'll not beable to bf again, getting no advice on preparing bottles in advance because if i do it the same way as i did first time i'll kill her apparently(see end of AIBU totally unhygeinic thread) etc.

so actually, no i'm not that grand but i figure i will be in the next year or two.

bet you wish you never asked

Reading this has made me feel so much better! 11 weeks (with first) and have been feeling extreme tiredness for the last 5/6, and feeling (though thankfully not being!) sick all that time too, never know what I'll be able to eat from one meal to the next. But keep pushing myself as struggling to accept that I can't keep working how I was working before, then feel guilty for calling in sick... and because we haven't told anyone I have to keep pretending to be completely fine and so lying to people I love. Roll on the first scan and knowing we can tell people as finally then it will feel real. AAAHHHH!

23+4 fine thanks

what i really want to say is i am feed up with not getting a good sleep as my nose is blocked up all the time my pelvis is sore as it has split and i feel like crap because i am up all night and havent had a good sleep in weeks

how are you

At 36 weeks today I am glowing! Really -

Back feels like it is going to break in half with the pain
Can't walk more than 5 mins without calf muscles seizing up
Ankles and legs swell up like crazy at night
Have really bad restless legs all the time and so can't get comfortable ever..
Have a constant cold and bloody nose.

feel like babs wants to escape - pushing agains my tummy constantly.
A good nights sleep is a long distant memory. At least when babs is born, DH will be able to take over for a night so I can sleep.. not much he can do about weird dreams and nightime toilet breaks right now!

But only 4 weeks to go till I hold my baby -so it will all be worth it in the long run!

31+1 with first, "Yes I'm fine thanks". Or...

I could quite easily support the whole Gaviscon industry single handedly.

I'm sick of weeing 100 times a day.

My right hip aches so much I feel 82 not 22.

I've suffered with thrush more times in these 7 months than I ever have in my life.

I have to make sure I'm dressed before DH goes to work in the morning, because I need daily help to put my socks on for me.

I hate my veiny boobs and dry nipples.

But....8 weeks and 6 days til I can hold my baby girl

lol@roary yes I no longer pretend to be fine either. If someone asks me I just tell them how it is. Im 34 weeks now and can barely move with pelvic cramps that make me feel like Im carrying the worlds hugest baby. Everyone has told me how big my bump is and how another 6 weeks is such a long time to go (wow you'll be HUGE at the end) thanks everyone.

Only 19+5

What I really want to say when asked all the time at work is 'why are you so bothered now? I barely know you and before you found out from somewhere I'm pregnant you barely would have looked up if passing me in the corridor.' But that would be considered rude, and then probably it would all be blamed on my hormones!

How come I'm no longer treated like a normal person, collegue and hard working member of staff now - I'm just seen as 'pregnant' and nothing else. Grrr.

ooo, that felt good!

22 weeks and I'm honest.

I say "I haven't stayed awake past 9pm for over a month, it hurts like you would not believe and quite frankly I'm bored".

at 36 wk +5, just so terrible heartburn that actually makes me vomit, constant pain in the right side of my ribs, due to intense kicking, sleeping at all the wrong hours, when nobody else is,i feel like carrying a watermelon between my legs, which actually hurts, going to the loo every three seconds and a half, yes, i had it timed, and trying to sort out everything on time, and there is a lot,getting worried that i am worrying too much, ah, and i can't stand anyone, especially when they think they must keep telling how good i look and i don't look pregnant, apart from that, i'm fine thanks

Am 9 days shy of due date and when I get asked, this is what runs thru my head almost every time...

'Just dandy thanks. The other 3 kids are playing up like you wouldn't believe as if they know something is up. My varicose veins in my groin are giving me real jip and I have not managed a poo for 3 days.
I am sick and tired of false labour episodes stopping and starting and regularly find myself fantasising about sleeping on my front and wearing normal clothes again rather than tents and track pants.
I can't stop thinking about cleaning and am like a woman possessed, even though it's killing me..... You?'

Well I am trying not to be too honest about how I feel, otherwise everyone will start trying to avoid me - even dh and my own children (dds1+2 who are 3 and 4).

here goes

"I am feeling 100 years old, my varicose veins are aching and look like a road map of a big metropolis, if you don't mind I am going to reach inside my maternity trousers and hoik up my thick, horrible support stockings that have fallen down for the 1000th time today, oh and before you say anything I am not due next week, I still have 14 weeks to go, but yes I am enormous aren't I."

Ah, that felt better, thankyou for this thread.

28 wks- am doing well thanks. Will feel better when Im not working thus not being harassed by you and your perfect pregnancy and birth hype. Am huge and ache. I want proper sex again... oh sod it any sex again! To feel and be found attractive. Im hungry and no i dont want to know how hard it was for your bf to lose the weight or how much i will want come back to work once bub is here. Im tired and hungry so let me sit in bed with a big fatty thick milkshake while you carry on. Sorry huge rant i do apologise.

31 weeks - Good thanks, a little tired...........And if anyone else tells me how hard it's going to be with 2 children I'll drive over to theirs with my 2 year old DD and leave her there saying "thanks for your help".

And why oh WHY does everyone have an opinion on how big or small your bump is for your stage? "You're tiny aren't you?" NO - I've put on a stone and feel like I'm carrying a boulder up my jumper but if that's your definition of tiny then....

35 + 5. Been very lucky to have had pretty easy pregnancy so far.

But recently -

Head engaged and feel like someone cut open my stomach, shoved a melon in my pouch and sewed me back up. Worried it will fall out.

Hoping I won't fall down the stairs during my few nightly trips (no pun intended) to the loo (no upstairs loo)

Getting a sore bum working full time at desk job .

Fed up being unable to walk to the office loo without a hundred people asking me how I am and when I'm finishing up (same questions, by same people everyda

Getting the response of "you're mad working full time up till you're 38 weeks" and then 2 mins later the next person saying "2 weeks off before your due date, you'll be climbing the walls if your overdue". Is there any right answer to when you should leave?

Fed up trying to explain to my boss that I can't cope with my work and that of three collegues who are all sick or on holidays when I am 35 weeks pregnant and that he needs to come up with a better work distribution and, No, I am not available to do overtime to help with the workload. To top it off his wife is 29 weeks pregnant!

That's quite a list really for having such a good pregnancy. More people annoying me than internal complaints.

Oh, and don't really want to complain about DH, but if he tells me one more time to not slouch on the couch and to sit straight so baby is not back to back.....for the last 20 weeks!

Teaddict - I know exactly how you feel. People have been saying to me oh isn't you bump small for 39+ weeks - have you got your dates right? Apart from the MW who think this is a large baby

People who touch your stomach and then say 'oh do you mind?' last night found myself saying - 'yes I do mind, my hubby doesn't get to touch me at the moment so why should anyone else!' before flouncing off (slight over reaction I'm sure, but I'm fed right up with it)

Thank god for you ladies...
Im 21 weeks with 3rd and feel like im possessed by something..

last night told my partner that i was starting to get heartburn, with just having a glass of water to his reply, thats life, all you`ve done all day is moan!!!

you carry this baby and while your at it...

wear horrid clothes..
have back pain..
have no sex at all really..
thrush everyday..
have people telling you how big you are !! what is wrong with people !!! and these are close friends..
have people stare at you who are actually overweight, and I want to say Im pregnant, whats your excuse ( that probably didnt sound nice)
Have itchy nipples that while scratching you could actually draw blood..
Be no longer be able to see your privates..
Feel embarrassed for eating mine and wanting to eat other peoples left overs..

And i do want to hibernate in a place where i can float in water and not feel the 1 and half stone that I have put on!!

mayte dear, i have done that, i don't have much of a bump, just really huge hips, so i look size 24 more than pregnant, someone who doesn't know me very well told me that i look huge, and he is a size 24,at least, so i told him, at least my big belly is a baby, and it will go away in a few months, by the way, what have you been eating?, you should see the shock in his face, especially 'cos we weren't alone,..., i bet he since has called me a cow.

I'm sick of people asking i know they are trying to be nice but I find it really invasive and annoying!!!

...oh and i totally agree about people saying "wow you are so big" when is it ok to say that its like as soon as you are pregnant people loose all their normal sense when it comes to woman - when else would you say "ooh you look better, much fuller in the face" this has happend to me from someone who should no better - i just want to be a size 10 again! (even thought want my son of course!i just feel ranty today!)

I had a lovely moment today that I just had to share on this thread.

A women at work said to me on my way past her desk, "my your bump has really dropped over the weekend. Last week it was propping your boobs up, but it's dragging them down with it today". Cheeky swine! It's totally untrue as well, bra still holding my boobs in the right place. Some people eh?

I am (guiltily) feeling all these things at 28 weeks:
TOTALLY fucked off with
Going for a wee ALL THE TIME
Back ache
Not being able to sleep because of the above
Numb arse at desk job
Being told "really? July? But you're massive already"
Not being able to join in at weddings/partys lately (not because of not drinking, but because I'm so fecking knackered and achy)

People thinking I'm leaving weddings/partys early because I can't drink

Brain on overtime all times of day and night with endless lists of chores that need doing if I'm not to feel like a complete maternal failure
Panic brought on by above stream of consciousness!

AND RELAX!!

I am so sick of the 'you are so huge' thing and the 'are you sure you are due in June?' crap. Today bloody recpetionist (who inspired another thread) said 'Oh you are sprouting every day you are going to burst'. I walked out, came immediately across a good friend and colleague who opened her mouth to say something and jumped on her by saying 'if you say how big i am, Joan, i am going to smack you' and walked off. leaving her still open-mouthed. (turns out she wanted to ask me about an audit).

Poor thing. Bless her, she fell about laughing at me, but WHY could I not say that to the recpetionist instead!!!!!!

And last week at an anniversary party I had a man say in front of everyone 'your stomach is much bigger than your boobs now'. Um, thanks for that.

FWIW.... I am 29 weeks, still in a size 12, still wearing my regular jeans and knickers and have put on just over a stone, and all that in front of me. NOT that it matters.

Anyway, if anyone asks, I am fine, thanks.

And I have lost my ability to spell. receptionist.

Oh thank goodness I found this thread! Just posted somewhere else that I keep saying I'm fine when actually I feel like I'm about to break. And that maternity leave thing - 'oh how nice you'll have plenty of time to get ready for the baby' - I've got 9 days, 9 DAYS, and why the hell is that making me feel guilty, I've worked over 45 hours a week for the last 8 months with a f'ing smile on my face because I knew I was getting out of there ...
And lovely DH is working all hours god sends, probably can't take paternity leave immediately and is exhausted when he comes home and I daren't even complain to him because I don't want to load him up with even more worries so unfortunately this page is where it'll all come out. So yes, 'i'm fine thank you, no worries' really means 'please help and someone do something nice for me because I think I'm going to cry non-stop for a week if i let myself go and everything hurts just too much and is it really a baby in there or a top weight bowling ball that was slipped in somehow during the one 5 minute sleep i've had in the last 6 weeks. Thank you.