what you REALLY want to say when asked "how are you?" but don't!

[heth1980]

All throughout my pregnancy (am nearly 37 weeks) people have been asking me how I am and i always say "fine thanks". I've been a bit more honest recently and have even admitted to being a bit tired to a couple of people, but what I really want to say is:

1. I'm so tired I can't think straight anymore
2. I feel like someone has deposited a concrete boulder in my pelvis and it's slowly splitting me in 2
3. I am SICK of going for a wee
4. I cannot get comfy no matter what I try 5)I am scared of having to give birth again 6)I am scared I won't be able to cope with an oppinionated toddler and a newborn
5. I am scared that my piles will get so big they will take over the world.

anyone else like to tell me how they really are?

This is priceless!
Clearly, at 15/40 I have lots of fun still to come, but right now:

1. I want to be able to blow my nose without it looking like the texas chainsaw massacre
2. I want to be able to do up the trousers on my interview suit in 2 weeks time (not a hope in hell). Failing that, I want some kind of reassurance that the bump band is going to work, and I am not going to stand up and have my trousers round my cankles.
3. I want to be able to re-read the job application form I completed in week 11, pole-axed with fatigue, baby brain & nausea, and not break out in a cold sweat at the nonsense contained therein.
4. I want to want to eat something that isn't chicken-liver pate, chocolate mousse, zabiglione or blue cheese.
5. I would very much like people to STOP BUYING ME DECAF COFFEE FROM THE COFFEE SHOP. When I say I want a latte, I mean a REAL ONE. I don't give a rat's crap what you/your wife/your pregnant half-sister-in-law/the other 8 pregnant women in the department think about the risks of caffeine. I am cutting down, not giving up. There are limits.
6. I would like to be able to say to my husband: 'I think we've escaped without too many mad hormonal mood-swings so far, don't you darling?' and for him to agree with me, not to inhale half his dinner, regurgitate it through his nose, and go purple coughing, then say 'if you say so.....'

That feels much better.

Thanks

This post is sooo good!

31 weeks

HUGE sore boobs.( 3 cup sizes already?!Dread to think what breast feeding will be like) Hate waist bands. "ouch" do you really have to practice karate/synchronised swimming in there, DD?

Can't bend down. out of breath. Your call as to whether i've been kicked awake or woken by awful leg cramps/the need to pee/throw up or hellish reflux a gazillion times each night.
My previously slender ankles are now puffy & horrid, running seamlessly into my equally swollen ugly lumps of tripe aka feet. can't fit into any of my shoes (which leaves me with a choice of horsey wellies - not a good look or slightly too small trainers....or slippers, debating which to wear when I go out to buy new comfy shoes)

but seeing as you asked "fine thanks, can't complain"!! sorry must dash as need to pee again.........

heth - very true words! and when your baby is born you can add "How is he/she sleeping"

I'm 27 weeks and it's just bollocks. DD1 is 6 and now I remember why it has taken me 6 years to even contemplate another child. My back hurts to the point where I have been reduced to tears. I am so tired I cannot get any of the stuff done that I want to. My house is 4 storeys and the toilet is on floor 3 so I have to lumber up umpteen stairs about a hundred times a day to produce a thimble full of piss. My piles are applying for their own postcode. I am shit scared of giving birth again. My boobs have been leaking for the last 3 months and they are enormous and hurt. I can't get comfortable at night and have to get up at least 3 times for trips to the loo. I have put on god knows how much weight (too scared to check) and now cannot fit my thighs into most of my maternity clothes. I have heartburn all the time which makes me want to puke and I have to drink that shitty Gaviscon stuff.

What I say: 'Yes, fine thanks, can't believe how fast it's going!'.

Oh yeah!! 11weeks and a half and getting nice flashbacks to last pg coupled with the horrors of this one so far.

'fine thanks' means

1. Actually I have been spewing my ringer for the last 8 weeks non-stop and haven't eaten a proper meal in that time either.
2. Crazy dreams about my dying grandmother/midgets/ teacups and miscarriages are keeping me up most nights between the hours of 3 and 6.
3. I'm really bloody fed up of living with fil while waiting to get a house - I need my privacy so I can be disgusting in peace!
4. I'm fed up of being the only woman in a house of 3 guys where my acute sense of smell is alerting me to the fact that their aim at the toilet is well off and the constant cooking of meat is making me hide in my room with room spray in hand at all times!
5. I'm fucking terrified of being super-pregnant and dealing with my toddler ds.
6. I'm fed up of headaches which paracetamol isn't touching.
7. I miss beer. I miss beer so very much.
8. I'm fed up of my friends writing us off already(!) because we will have 2 kids and it will be "much harder to get out"
9. I'm finding it really bloody hard to keep my hormonal emotions in check when visiting gran in hospital/talking about gran/watching anything sad on Tv.

10. I'm scared that high bp will have me hospitalised this time. 11. I'm scared that baby will be bigger than the 10lb 9oz I had last time. 12.I'm really looking forward to being fat horrible and grumpy again when I swell up and cannot move.

"But otherwise, "yes, I am delighted! We are so excited!"

This thread is brilliant!

I'm 31 weeks and baby breech. Terrified of having to have c-section having had v quick easy natural birth first time! Any tips on getting it to turn??!

I have constant bogies and bleedy nose when I blow it (although bogies sometimes satisfying!), need to wee every 3 mins, my pile has taken a leaf out of my book and is also breeding, I have repulsive cankles and never seem to get that lustrous hair everyone bleats on about! Oh and can't see my pubes - do I even have a foo foo...

Which leads to - sex is off the agenda and I feel guilty about that as DH going up walls, poor chap. And I've still got 2 months to go!

AND am worried about neglecting DD when the new one comes along - love her so much that sometimes I'm not even 100% that I want this second one. But I know that's hormonal as will love this one just as much. And how will I cope with 2 babies - DD will only be 18months!

But my response isn't just "I'm fine, thanks", it's "I feel great". Which is a total lie!!!

Oh one other - erotic dreams are a plus of pregnancy, but not when they involve David Tenant - he is always in them and I find it really disturbing!!!

"Yeah not bad thanks, just counting down the days now"...Or...

I'm so bored of pissing all day long. Even once I've wiped I've got to sit back on the loo pronto to let out another dribble.

Fed up of DH laughing at me performing a military operation just to sit up or turn over in bed.

Scared my bathroom scales are going to scream "fat cow" each time I stand on them.

Reflux so bad that I've experimented with the entire Gaviscon range, ranitidine and now omeprazole.

Lady garden so terribly overgrown that I'm now finally on my way to have it waxed. Though I'm sure the girl will just laugh at the disgrace of it.

But still, smiles sweetly, just 20 days until my due date...

What a brilliant thread!

Every morning when I step on the train, I want to scream "right you bunch of selfish bastards1 STOP pretending you're asleep, STOP pretending you can't see me - I'm the size of a fecking house! I'm 7 months pregnant and if you don't give me a seat NOW the motion of the train will cause this baby to dance a jig on my bladder and I WILL piss on your shoes..."

Thank you.

Fine thanks, other than now that the baby has started decending ready for the big day, it does rather feel like someone's kicked me up the *

Oh and for all those people who feel sorry for dh and presume he's not getting any sex at the moment - WRONG! FOOLED YOU!

I'm hornier than a horny goat overdosing on horny goat weed thank you very much. DH is LOVING this pregnancy.

I'm not pregnant, but I'm going to keep this thread for when I feel broody .

bouncingblueberries I think I love you! I've been wanting to say that on the subway for ages, maybe I will one day in the next two months!

Heh. DH basically ran away from me and hid on Sunday. MONTHS of me not really feeling up for it, and suddenly last week something changed dramatically. On Sunday he just wanted a rest, poor dear!

blackcurrants

10 weeks (bloooody hell is that all )

Yes, not too bad thanks............................

.....instead of going in to detail about what makes me feel sick, what makes me gag (everything) and how worried I am that something's going to be wrong at the scan.

Oh, and while I am here...

Yes, I know you can see I am pregnant. I know my previously slightly flat stomach is no more and my invisible boobs are now huge, but I have NOT HAD A SCAN yet and if I wanted to tell you I was pregnant I would so please please stop looking at me knowingly when I walk past. And yes, I have stopped smoking (yay) and yes I have put on weight. thanks for asking.

21 weeks tomorrow.

My pelvic floor feels like a knackered old trampoline already; I can no longer turn over in bed without lots of huffing and puffing; and my libido has evaporated.

24 weeks today!

1. fuck off I might be huge but....
2. actually this sodding hayfever is officially about to kill me, if I am not sneezing myself to oblivion and causing a nose bleed I am peeing my pants so again fuck off and no I CAN'T TAKE ANY FUCKING BENEDRYL
3. yes fine thanks, maybe you can tell me why it is that I wake up every morning at 4am with a dry mouth and can't back to sleep and dh snoring and me wanting to kill him.....
4. i am a crap mother to dd who actually just wants to play tea parties with me when i just want to sleep........

there are many many many more but mainly to do with my weight gain.....

but actually I am fine thanks

No I'm not fine ok?! I am absolutely TERRIFIED.

Not pregnant any more but spent whole pregnancy like that.

(it was fine btw )

Don't have anything remotely funny to say but just wanna applaud you all. Having a really shockingly bad day at work today, saw this thread and now can't stop sniggering at some of the comments (I'm talking full nose snorting snigger here).

Thanks for the link Blueberries

I get this too,
"Gosh that was a loud sneeze!"

• yeah well sorry about that but if you want me to function in anyway I have to sneeze, if you want me to do it quietly you are going to get sprayed with blood, and why the hell do you all think it is hilarious to have hayfever whilst preg? And yes that is a little bit of wee on my chair

NOW FUCK OFF!

Sorry, getting to me the whole sneezing thing and being pg, and how are you?

I would really like to tell people how much the combination of sudden sneezing (from hayfever which I can't medicate) and poor pelvic floor muscle tone sucks. But I won't.

What a fine x-post doodleydoo. I feel your pain.

At 40+3, I've given up saying "fine thanks!" My standard response is now "fed up and want this baby out NOW!"

doodleydoo snort!

(actually, I got gp to prescribe me steroid nasal spray - beclametasone I think - and I've managed to keep the incontinence episodes down to a bare minimum)

(but then all the horizontal exercise I'm demanding from dh is keeping my pelvic floor is remarkable shape [preen] )

I often just want to sob if i'm honest, "I am tired, my back aches, i am hormonal, i am being a crap mum with a short temper, i desperately miss being me and being able to do things like ride my horse, or even just get out of the sofa easily. Yes i would like to be able to eat what i like, but to be perfectly honest i am terrified of becoming huge or having a huge baby, and at the moment i think my bump weighs a stone by itself"

I also hate the fact that i am limited what i can wear, i look crap reguardless and i am not looking forward to mum and toddlers tomorrow because i know that having not seen me for 2weeks everyone will comment on my enormousness and i am only 25 fecking weeks!

Quite theraputic isn't it?