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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Boy/Girl!!!

133 replies

AnotherHelen · 29/06/2005 11:08

Im growing more and more worried about how i might react to the sex of my baby! i hate that im even writing this as there are far more important things than this, but, i have 2 boys already and my sister has a son also, she recently gave birth to a girl and now she and my mum and partner are worried that i may be very dissapointed if i get another boy, i am a very maternal person and there's no way i could ever look at any of my babies and feel disapointed!! but what if they are right? what if when he/she is born and they say its a boy, how will that feel? id hate to think i could EVER feel dissapointed about a baby, has anyone been in this situation? how did it work out?
Helen 28+1 xxxxx

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Original poster
AnotherHelen · 30/06/2005 14:44

Awww! - Mamatoto, that is soo sweet! i think i will be the same! if it is a boy i will only feel a little dissapointed for a little while! i would never feel really upset and reject baby in anyway becasue of it as its just something i could never do (infact i cant believe anyone could?!) im just being a child really by wanting to buy pink things and do the flowery barbie stuff!! I LOVE my boys and i would love another as equally i know! i will try and stop flapping about it, as its really rather quite pointless!

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Original poster
AnotherHelen · 30/06/2005 14:47

Really redhelen? its abit bizarre isnt it! i think my desire to call her she and buy pink is overwhelming - my dp truly believs im just wishful thinking but i cant believe i would be like that! i feel this baby is 'girlie' i cant describe it - well you will al know what i mean! i really really feel like this baby is a girl - i will be very shocked if its not, although if it is a girl and im right that will freak me out abit too! xxx

OP posts:
coldtea · 30/06/2005 17:15

We didn't find the sex out with either of our children. When i was pregnant with my son we could agree on a boys name & not a girls...we had ds! The 2nd time we could agree on a girls & not a boys name...we had dd.

Maybe natures way of telling us something??

jessicasmummy · 30/06/2005 17:16

i hope your right coldtea coz we can onyl agree on a boys name right now, yet we couldnt agree on a boys name last time

coldtea · 30/06/2005 18:34

just for fun!

Worked for both of mine.

jessicasmummy · 30/06/2005 18:39

it says girl for this one.... it was right for jess.

tried it before and kept praying it would say boy but NO!

spidermama · 30/06/2005 18:42

I had a girl, then 2 boys, then when pregnant again really wanted to have a girl to even things up. In labour I was saying, 'Oooooh! I think SHE's stuck'. HE wasn't. That was 6 months ago. I would've loved a girl to even things up but equally I wouldn't swop my wee boy for anything. You'll be in love with whoever comes along.

muppety · 01/07/2005 16:24

When I was planning a family I just took it for granted I would a girl. When ds1 was born I fell in love with him straight away, but new I would have another baby to get my girl.

With ds2 I found out at scan, as thought I needed to prepare. Truth is I was 100% sure he was a girl. All my symptoms were different and chart said so etc. I honestly had to try so hard not to cry when we found out and completely hated myself for it as really I should have been relieved he was healthy. The worst thing was everyone knew I wanted a girl. Now he is here I love him to bits obvioulsy.

We only ever wanted 2 children and now I have that dilema about whether to go for a third. I am sure I read somewhere that if you have 2 boys your third is more than probably going to be a third too. The issues are would I be disapointed with another boy and I desperately don't want ds2 to feel 'unwanted'. I wonder if anyone has ever regeretted having a another and getting the 'wrong sex'.

What makes it harder is all my friends at the moment are having girls and I have got weepy about it. To be truthful most people don't understand.

Anyway sorry to waffle. I love my boys to bits but maybe that feeling of wanting a girl will never go away?

muppety · 01/07/2005 16:25

Oops I meant if you have 2 boys a thirs will probably be another boy!

Mamatoto · 02/07/2005 18:13

Another helen - have you tried coldteas gender chart?

bonniej · 02/07/2005 18:23

just tried the gender chart. Concieved January at age 33 and it predicts a girl. I asked the sex at my 20 week scan and was told girl (well she was 90% sure). This has made me feel even more hopeful that the scan was right

PeachyClair · 02/07/2005 18:51

Hiya.

can sypathise as I have three boys (all girls on the Chinese calendar). With the first irt was great as I am one of three girls, the second was a bit oh well, the third...

well, we decided to have a gender scan. A few weeks before though the double test came back as high risk downs. We didn't want amnio as with two others resting just wouldnt happen, and I knew I would want my baby anyhow. We agreed to an extra detailed scan, and that was the same as the gender scan. So by the time Harry was a boy, all I cared about was that he had no Downs markers (and didnt have the syndrome at birth either).

I guess it was a persepctive thing.

Two years later, my sisters also have a boy each (dh's brother has yet to even leave home, let alone get a girlfriend, even though he is 30). We always planned to have 4 and may yet, but our eldest has Aspergers and the middle has hearing probs, so we'll see. A girl would be nice, but I learned my lesson last time!!

blueteddy · 02/07/2005 18:54

That gender chart says that ds1 should have been a girl!
Also, how do the gender charts account for boy/girl twins???

Mamatoto · 02/07/2005 18:56

is that so muppety about if u have 2 boys more likely to get boy?

blueteddy · 02/07/2005 19:05

I have heard that if your first 2 children are of the same sex, you have a 75% chance of having the same sex again with your 3rd.
Don't know how true this statistic is.

PeachyClair · 02/07/2005 19:47

That's probably right, but if it's true that there are factors that influence conception of a boy / girl, then aren't they more likely to have remained constant the longer (and more kids) they've been in placE?

I heard that the older you are the more likely you are to have a girl, maybe i'll wait a decade until I am 42!

muppety · 03/07/2005 14:18

Yes blue teddy thats what I read. It makes sense and I also heard that it was even more so for boys.

The chinese charts were wrong for me as were all the other quizzes which all had me having a girl!

You are right Peachyclair it is all about perspective. The thing is thats what makes it harder. I feel such a horrible person for wanting a girl. Its so hard to explain. I think I see boys and girls as totally different things in a way. Almost like cats and dogs and I imagine the expereince of bringing up a girl to be different. Maybe I am wrong? If I had 2 girls I honestly have no idea whether I would be having this conversation the other way round.

sweetkitty · 03/07/2005 14:30

gender chart got it worng last time, this time it's saying girl but I have a feeling this one's a boy.

practically from the moment I conceived DD I knew she was a girl, I never looked at anything blue or boys names. If the sonographer had said boy I would have fallen off the table.

I always wanted a little girl, with number 2 I can honestly say I don't care, I will be delighted with another girl or a little boy.

We've decided we would like 3 children and ideally I would like another girl and a boy but 2 boys or 3 girls would be great.

I have a friend who lost a baby 3 days after she was born and for me being blessed with a healthy baby is enough I don't care about the sex.

blueteddy · 03/07/2005 20:09

I have to say muppety, that I would not advise trying for another baby unless you are 100% sure that you would be happy with either sex.
At the end of the day you cannot send a baby back because it is the wrong kind & you really have to be sure that you really want another baby & not just a certain sex child, as you could end up seriously dissapointed if it turns out to be another boy & could lead to big bonding problems between yourself & your new baby.
Sorry to be harsh!

dinosaur · 04/07/2005 09:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

jambo1707 · 04/07/2005 10:11

dinasour i am the same.

Hate when people say "shame" bet you wanted a girl

Well in actual fact I WANTED boys and am extremly happy

MommyD · 04/07/2005 10:14

I have two boys and am 37 weeks pg with #3. I always wanted three children - I would love a little girl for #3, but am 90% sure #3 is a little boy. Three boys will also be fabulous and I can't help thinking that to have a child to 'try for a particular sex' will, in half the cases, lead to a level of disappointment! You really get what you are given and very little, if anything, can really influence that. I think I was supposed to be a mummy to boys and I am just thrilled that I have been able to conceive the three children I really wanted so easily!! My boys are adorable.

MommyD · 04/07/2005 10:16

...oh and someone asked me last week (when I was out with my two little lads) if I knew the sex of #3. I said I thought boy and their exact words "...oh well, never mind - you could always try again". Eh? Did I win the booby prize? Daft.

Original poster
AnotherHelen · 04/07/2005 11:26

I know what you mean mommyd!! most people say to me 'what if you get another boy!!!!' - well then i will love him and spoil him rotten like his brothers! - it does kind of make you fell like you got a bum deal! i have done coldtea's gender chart and its right for my first two boys and this time it says a girl!! [trying to not raise my hopes] does anyone think that genetics could play a part at all?? as i have a very large family of mainly girls! and most of my sister cousins aunts have had 5-6 kids each and i have to say for as long as we can look back, we have only produced girls!! there is about 1 boy born to every 8/9 girls usually! (on my dp's side also - to a lesser extreme!) i am the ONLY one to produce 2 boys! i have also heard that if you have 2 children of the same sex then the third is also likely to be that sex also, but then i think maybe genetics could play a part too? - its like some kind of game of odds!!! - who'll win?? xxxx

OP posts:
andif · 04/07/2005 12:13

Totally sympathise with your feelings, AnotherHelen.
I also have 2 boys and am 29+4 wks with 3rd. I decided to find out sex this time (hadn't before) as wanted to be prepared if it's another boy. They THINK it's a girl, but I really won't believe it until I see it, and actually it has made me realise that I'm less bothered than I thought, as long as it's healthy. My friend had her 4th boy and found out at the scan. She was momentarily disappointed, but said it helped a lot when people kept saying 'I bet you're hoping for a girl this time' to be able to say 'actually we know it's a boy'.
Have just re read post and don't know that I have really helped you!! I would say that a LOT of people I know with 3 have 2 of same sex, then 3rd is different, so there may be hope!!!!!!!