OLD temp buddies, still together.

[rainbowdays]

Sorry I could not think of an original title

And there was me clinging desperately to it getting easier... I had to chuckle at the tin of tiny beads Honeyapple.

Sorry to hear about everyone's woes... I am woeful too

Have decided to stop breastfeeding, very upset about it, but the last few weeks have been hell. I think we've had 2-3 good days in all, but since I last posted it has got worse and worse ... it's no longer just the evening feeds where she goes wild, it is now every feed (except middle of the night)... I have expressed and fed her a couple of times and it has been heaven. Unfortunately I can't express for every feed, so formula beckons.

but relieved to have made the decision, just need to work out how to phase it out without popping

Ready- sorry to hear about the BF. Have you spoken to a BF counsellor? Might be worth talking to someone who is trained in all things BF. (NCT BF counsellors are lovely!) I respect your decision of course- not easy to make I am sure- but I do honestly feel that you are SO close to getting over this difficult time and heading towards BF easystreet .
Big hugs, thinking of you.
BTW Dex is getting worse too! he had a complete lunatic meltdown in waitrose this am- I have no idea what it was about. I had strangers trying to give me words of wisdom- and one lady who followed me to my car reminiscing about her son (now 35yrs old)...

Guess it is the terrrible twos! His bday on thursday

Oh Honey - definitely the terrible twos!! It was almost like a switch was pressed in Toby on his birthday - overnight, we have meltdowns at least twice a week (although recently they've been getting more common). Always related to me doing something in a way he doesn't want - this evening's stressy fit was because I'd finally got around to buying him some vests, but they only had vests with fire engines and police cars on them. I asked him to choose which of the 3 he wanted to wear and he chose the most patterned one. After bath we put on the "nee-nah, nee-nah" vest top on, but my word the screaming and crying when I tried to put his pjs on over the top! Having had a bit of an issue with DD in the bath earlier over the positioning of the bathmat - I then broke down into tears, so all 3 of us were hysterical!! Having a large rum and coke to calm my nerves, as although I got Toby happy and settled asleep (with the pjs still intact over the vest!), DD continued to wind me up. Think you can safely say that I'm really not enjoying not having the support of DH around at the moment. My friend who had her baby last weekend also just texted to say that I can't come over tomorrow as she wants to rest - totally reasonable request, but I really wanted some cuddles with a baby. Feeling a bit emotional about it all for some reason (although how on earth I would cope with 3 children if/when DH goes away again I've no idea!). I did have experience of having 3 children, when I bathed my 2 and my almost one year old niece last week - was relatively ok, but I'm so in awe of people who have to do that everyday!!!

Anyway, enough of my woes!

Ready - I'm sorry you've found BF so hard, but if you really feel that it is the right thing for you and Hannah then go with it, but also have to agree with Honey that this is probably one of the hardest times when they fuss at every feed - I think it was around 17 weeks that my DD calmed down and stopped screaming at every feed. Horrible, so I can see why you're finding it so hard. You've got to enjoy your baby and not feel guilty about anything.

Right - I'd better get on and try and avoid the chocolate or biscuits although I'm not sure I'll be able to!

Take care all.

thanks fettle, sorry to hear you sounding sad. Have to say though that fortunatley I had DS1 and DD with me at the supermarket for moral support and Dex chasing- otherwise I probably would have lost it to- and not come home with any shopping. DS1 was great- following Dex around the shop as he ran around screaming and hurling himself onto the floor- whilst DD and I packed the groceries. I think it was possible started with me putting some biscuits back on the shelf that Dex had picked up. He won't sit in the trolley- has to walk and 'help' me. I spent a good 5 minutes persuading him to part with a rather large leg of lamb . I let him keep the coco shreddies though- so I am not so mean .

Got the last antenatal group on wednesday and there will be 2 real babies coming- very excited . All this talk of birth is making me want to do it again! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Older siblings are great. Not sure what I would have done without dd's eternal optimism at times recently. She was so sweet at trying get toby to eat any supper tonight (she too failed but at least she tried and more calmly than me!). Makes me feel even worse that I lost it with her over a blooming bathmat and her constant sniffing this eve. FGS I'm a grown up. She's 5!!! feel absolutely awful bout it as it is a common occurrence at the moment. She is such an angel and grown up when she really needs to be so she should be allowed to be 5 in the comfort of her own home.

feeling like such a rubbish parent at the moment and can't really admit that to anyone in real life

Fettle - please don't be tough on yourself, you are coping with very difficult circumstances. I wish I could help you in real life, as it sounds like you need a break, you are mummy 24/7 at the moment with no time for yourself. You need to look after yourself too especially with your dh away to add to the stress. I am just in awe over how you cope alone, it is so hard. I am not sure I would cope without my dh to help me. We all loose the plot with our children at times, and whilst it might not be good, we have to remember that: no human parent is perfect, and no child wants a robot for a parent. Just remember your children know you love them, and they love you too. I hope tomorrow brings a better day for you, without bathmat dramas

Ready - sorry to hear it is getting more tough for you. Do not feel guilty for switching to formula and bottles, you have to do what is right for you and H. You have gone downhill quickly, it is tough to climb back up the other way and probrably not the right thing for you anyway. If you wanted to push through to the breastfeeding easystreet you would have to stop all bottle feeding totally. H has clearly learnt that by fussing she gets the easy route of bottle, rather than having to work at boob. She must be a bright little button to already know how to get her bottles!!!!!

To change that now you would have to stop all bottles and that is very very hard, if you changed your mind and decided to continuie to breastfeed then you would have a hard week ahead. You say you are very upset about having to stop, so obviously if you change your mind and decided to go for the short-term pain for long-term gain (of not having to faff around with bottles), then honey and I will be your online breastfeeding support group, but you have been battling long enough and you are already having to deal with sterilising bottles etc so making up formula is not that hard to do instead, and a happier H, will be more enjoyable for you anyway.

So I think that you need to do the right thing by yourself and go for bottle feeding, you need to give yourself a break. Weaning from boob to bottle will happen naturally over only a few days, you could offer the boob when she will take it to relieve the pressure, but sounds like you have already dropped the evening feed so just give formula and try not to express if possible. It should only take about three days for your body to start producing significantly less. Just make sure that you don't let yourself become too engorged, you don't want to get mastitis from stopping too suddenly. Cold packs to relieve the heat and pressure, and the old traditional cold cabbage leaves from the fridge....!!!! I hope this helps.

Honey - sorry to hear that Dex has entered the terrible twos with the full dramatics. So embrassing in the shops, but now I think of the tv add of the mother throwing herself on the floor for the temper tantrum, it makes me smile, but it is horrible when it happens really.

Sorry to hear that Fettle - I can empathise with it a lot because sometimes I'm aware I expect more of my DS1 than I probably should from a 5 yr old. When they are generally so good and responsible and helpful its almost harder when they play up. DS1 did something totally out of character at the weekend when we were away at my mums. He drew on my mums carpet with a pen and after I'd told him off he then went off and drew on the wall . I know its not the same as your DD and the bathmat saga, but still I was so shocked by his behaviour. He's NEVER done that sort of thing before and while I know all kids do naughty things at some point I still went mad.

Well, Theo is definately part of the terrible 2's gang on here. My goodness he's such a pest at night now. He was up 3 times last night and cries and shouts if I dont get into his bed while he goes to sleep again. Then I have to somehow manouvere out of his bed (cot bed!) without waking him up! The bloody thing will collapse soon enough! I had to bring him into my bed in the end after he woke just before 6am - I just couldn't face squeezing myself in that titchy tiny bed again. I know I'm making a rod for my own back by pandering to him, but its hard in the middle of the night. And also I think there is still something bugging him as he gets upset when I leave the room and has started to get upset at nursery. Seperation anxiety perhaps???? any ideas?

Ready - It sounds like you've made the right decision for you both and it seems you are happier. There is nothing at all to feel bad about... You've perservered when many would have given up long ago and you need to do the right thing for Hannah - if she is happier and more settled with a bottle then thats great. You want to enjoy her in these early days and not dread her feeds. After all before long you'll have the weaning battle on your hands .

Well, I did something TOTALLY stupid over the weekend. Me and the kids went to my mums and I took them to the beach on Saturday morning. I didn't think I'd taken my keys with me but I must have done and I think I dropped them at the beach. When I searched the house for them on Sunday just before we were due to head back they were nowhere in sight!!! So, I had no car key and we were 2 hours away from home and DH was away in London - So I had to stay at my mums one more night, I missed work, Max missed school on monday and my lovely MIL brought my spare key down on the train on monday morning. What an arse!!!!! (me, not her!!!!). I felt like a total tit. Anyway if I had dropped them on the beach then they'll be long gone by now (probably half way to France) as the wild weather on Sunday brought the sea way in.

Better head off - hope its a better day Fettle! Remember you are an amazing mum and we've all lost it at some point or another. It will get better .

just a quickie (I am in tax return hell grrrrr)
fettle - so sorry you are feeling down - you are doing an amazing job- I can only imagine how hard it is with 2 alone I do not manage one alone well when DH is away for a week or so let alone months. I quickly become grumpy mummy and feel so mean as I "snap" so much quicker when on my own. I am sure you are feeling worse about it all than your DD - she will not hold it against you at all - C always makes me cry as even when I have been grumpy and snappy he still comes up and cuddles me Major guilt!
Anyway - You are not a rubbish parent - the very fact that you feel this way means you are a wonderful parent who loves and cares xxx

DH lost our car keys on the beach too Chooster - nightmare - luckily it was only a few hours and someone handed them in - phew! Esp as I they were the spare set as I had lost the original set in the supermarket car park about a month before Glad you got home eventually though.

Ready - glad you made a decision that makes you feel better When I stopped expressing one boob had practically given up already so I just took about a week to graduate my expressing down - so 2 days at 4 times a day (I was on 5 before deciding to stop) then 2 days on 3 times as day, then 2 days at twice a day and finally it tailed off to a couple of random expresses before stopping altogether. I was relieved as I had previously had blocked ducts which led to engorgement twice and it was agony - I spent hours in the bath massaging - very weird and very painful!

Hope things are looking up for you rainbow - you really should be a BF councillor!

good luck with the broodiness with new babies honey hope the last class goes well. Happy Birthday to Dex for Thursday

greedy - hope Ellis is feeling better and is recovering how scary that must have been.

Sorry to hear the terrible twos are attacking - I fear C is headed that way too - today he dropped to his knees wailing with huge fat tears when I refused to turn on the TV and offered to read him a story at 4.45pm (we usually have cbeebies from 5.15 to 6.15pm if we are home) A complete overreaction - DH and I just laughed at him which made it worse

waves to everyone else
xxx

Oh - you guys are amazing! Thank you - making a few more tears roll down my cheeks though I have to admit!!

Hoping for a better day tomorrow, but this evening both children were so lovely, so all in all a much calmer evening. I'm just watching Ugly Betty and then I am going to go to bed - I've been staying up to midnight for no reason other than I'm just sitting surfing the net! Lost all impetus to do anything.

Just heard today that a friend of mine and her husband are separating, so I really should count my lucky stars that we are all healthy and love each other!

Rainboyw - I hope you are doing ok?

Seaside - I always feel guilty when I hear people talk about their tax forms - I'm assuming I don't need to fill one in? I think we'll have to next year as we'll be renting out our house and I'll (hopefully!) be self-employed.

Chooster - what a stressful end to your weekend - glad you got home eventually. Good on your MIL on coming to rescue you - she sounds great!

Right - ad break is over, so i'm switching the computer off!!

Thanks again for being here for me.

xxx

fettle - there is no way you are a rubbish parent. like rainbow said, you are having to deal with everything at the moment and it must be really tough. things are so much easier when there is someone else around. i know i am much more in control and relaxed when simon is around even if i do moan at him for spoiling my routines and getting in the way! as we have all said befpore, i dont know how you cope on your own for so long, so i think you are amazing and dont beat yourself up! we all have times when we feel like rubbish mummies!

i felt like a rubbish mummy on saturday! we spent hours getting ready for a halloween party. we made ellis 2 extra monster heads from papier mache so he could be a 3 headed monster and spent ages doing dh's make up and then turned up at the party to realise it had just finished! we thought it was 6-8pm and it had been from 4-6pm! i felt terrible for the kids cos they had been so excited about it and i felt like i had really let them down. poor things! i feel like we are always doing that sort of thing to them cos dh or i get times wrong or turn up too late or at the wrong place!

honey - my friend who is an NCT teacher has 5 kids, so i think being around pregancy and talking about it all the time must really make you broody. i know if i was an NCT\teacher i would be permenantly broody! Marcy went through her terrible twos when she was about 10months till 18months! then she was gorgeous again.................until about 2 weeks ago and now she seems to have turned again! she can have huge strops, but i have to try and stop them before they start properly or they are never ending once she starts. she is also ( i hate to admit) a real biter. she is very affectionate and cuddly, but often likes to sink her teeth in too! i'm not sure if i should tell them at nursery, or wait till they find out!

chooster - i am always doing daft things like that, dont worry!!! did i tell you about the time i got locked in my coridoor for 10 hours with only an empty plum punnet to wee in? or the time i got locked in the house with the kids and had to hand ellis out of the window so he could go to school!........we all do it..........just some of us more than others!!

seaside - glad to hear cassius is on his way to the terrible twos as well............wouldn't like you to miss out now would we!

ready - glad you have made a decision about feeding, and hope you are feeling happier and less guilty. i felt terrible when i stopped feeding ellis after only 3 weeks, but with kiki and marcy i had no guilt at all!

been back to hospital today with ellis and he got the all clear. knew he would cos he has been runjning around like a loony since the weekend!

better go, smelly patients to see.

Wow, a 3 headed papier mache monster!!! Bloody hell Greedy, whether you made it to the party or not, thats one hell of an achievement!! Makes the glow in the dark skeleton t-shirt I bought Theo from M&S seem pathetic! .

All good here! Theo still being a tinker - they've noticed a change in him at nursery as well and I have to confess that he bit someone today - not hard as they stopped him before he did real damage, but still.... I dont know whats got into him. It seems he's changing too fast at the moment. The strops, the clingy-ness, waking up at night... I had wondered if he may be poorly but most of the time he's happy and just plain naughty! Sigh.... Hope it passes soon...

Right, off to start looking for xmas pressies on internet. Only just reliased how close it all is now!

chooster - sounds good doesn't it? 3 headed monster...........but did you see the photos on FB? it looked PANTS!!!

glad you have a biter too! (not for you, just makes me feel better!)

Just looked at your pic greedy and it didn't look pants!! It looked excellent. For pants see my poor boy who will be dressed as a pirate for every fancy dress event until he can make his own costume!

have you seen the new emoticon Am I being clueless but what is it?? In my world saying something is biscuit means it is a bit cheap??

weird if you ask me...

must go look at this monster...

I had a halloween party and did all of DS1's friends as zombies- looked really good! Will have to put up a pic when I get my camera working (boring computer issue).

Dex's bday yesterday was great- went to a indoor playplace after school- had 14 kids- all brilliant- Dex loved it! I forgot my camera though- rubbish parent alert! Am having a family do on sunday too. Can't believe he is 2- bit . He is starting his playgroup on monday- got a peppa pig lunchbox for b'day- all ready- I must make him a super healthy lunch for the first day!

Fettle- how you doing? YOU ARE A FAB MUM!!!!!

At least biscuit means something to you seaside... As far as I know its something to dunk in a cup of tea .

I'll check the pics on FB Greeds - am sure you are being hyper critical of your work and its fab!!

Hi all

Really tired and must go sleeping but just wanted to say I wonder if is related to Gordon browns webchat on here when he refused to admit which was his favourite biscuit? Not sure?

I'm doing much better now. Got my friend down for wknd who lost her brother a few months ago. Having great catch up and the children adore her as she's so much fun with them!

ps greedy. I think your 3 headed monster looked fab. Shame u arrived at the end of the party !!

Sleep well all

xxx

pps anyone know how lottie is? Is she out of hospital? You there lottie?

BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Honey!

Where are you all?!!

Fettle - Sorry I have not been more communicative here. Looks like I am going through another miscarriage. I will come back when I am more chatty.

Oh Rainbow - poor you! You look after yourself.
xxx

Rainbow- big hugs. That's really sad to hear .

forgot to say- Dex has his first afternoon at playschool today! Going to go get his haircut this am as it is really long (although I love it- but thinking he looks a bit too girly ).

rainbow so sorry to hear that xxxxx

going through bf hell atm with herbie...trying to perservere but really feel like giving up am running thin on patience.

hope all goes well with dexs 1st day honey

iam- sorry to hear having BF problems- PLEASE PLEASE ring a BF counsellor (NCT-0300 330 0771) before you make a decision you might regret .

Don't know what to do with myself! Have varnished our new doors...

spend more time on MN honey! thats what you have to do! marcy goes 2 mornings a week now too, but i work one of them and help out in kiki's class on the other one.

anyone ever had or been to a build a bear party? trying to decide what to do for kiki's birthday

rainbowdays - really sorry to her that. cant believe what a terrible time you have had this time with ttc.