OLD temp buddies, still together.

[rainbowdays]

Sorry I could not think of an original title

Oh minxi. You poor girl. I think I know how I'd feel in your shoes. Poor chooster obviously went through all this a few months back.

So typical that some people desperate to be pregnant can't but when you really don't want to be it just sort of happens.

You have to tell dh. And have a long hard talk about it. It will be fine. It is just a big shock for you now and you need to get your head round it and what happens now.

Take care
xxx

sorry girls i've been too snowed over to post- and i miss all the goss-

minxi- wow- well hopefully you come around to the idea and so does DH- some things just meant to be i guess.

well- for being a cheapskate- i just got Dex his first bed- and it cost...£39... from...IKEA! of course . It's really nice! Plain/practical- big thumbs up. He did come wandering into our bed about 3am though...

iam- sorry dont know about the injection- however it is still hormones so may effect you same as pill. You can get a non-hormone coil. I dont fancy myself.

right i can smell dexter's bum from here...
x

oh- and seaside- dont worry please- big age gaps are great. DS1 was 11 today

minxi - wow, wow double wow!!! congrats!!! i am sure you will soon get your head round the idea and be really excited. i think 'happy accidents' are great! fate, just like honey said.

seaside - i agree, all/any age gaps are fab!!! me and my bro are 8 yrs apart and that was great and ellis and kiki are 1.5 yrs apart and that was great!

iam - the injection made me leak milk!!! only down side though, and apparently that was quite an unusual side effect!

Am feeling a bit better - still haven't managed to talk to DH but think the conversatin would have been a jibbering wail! Anyway am calmer now after a busy crazy day, and will deal with it and speak to DH - this would be I am sure looking at dates and trying to remmeber the one and only time managed to have sex during December...a miracle...and I thought it only happened to teenagers! I am not laughing by the way just merely trying to figure out how ironic - DS1 and DS2 take 9 months or so and DS3 takes 3 years and this one well guess never going to work that one out.
Anyway thanks ladies as ever it was just nice to blurt out on here what has just crashed onto my doorstep - so thank you.
I am going to collect my thoughts now and will be back tomorrow to chat as will have more time xxx

hey Minxi - as fettle says this was me back in September time. I so know what you mean about the panic that sets in. It doesn't matter how much considering you may have done about another child, I still think its hits you like a ton of bricks when you see that line on the test. I did the same as you and held back from telling Dh just simply because I needed the time to think things through myself and just to find the words to say it out loud! BUT, it will be fine... I was in as much shock as you and started thinking about all the negatives to start off with, but then slowly i started to come to terms with it and even had a few positive / excited thoughts. Unfortunately as you'll know it didn't work out for me, but even with that I just reconciled it that it was fate again.

I too think happy accidents are there to surprise us and you will be a wonderful family of 4 - just think how close DC3 and DC4 will be... And you always say how wonderful your two elder boys are.

Good luck with getting your head round it and telling DH. The only thing I would suggest having recently been through it is dont focus on any negative practicalities - you wont be excited enough yet to be able to sweep these minor issues under the carpet and you may get hung up on them. I remember gettting stressed about how we would have to change the spare room into a bedroom and how would we ever go on holiday again, how would I find time to help DS's with homework etc.... You get the picure.... basically getting wound up about things that in the grand scheme of things dont matter a jot. I think that when its planned you dont worry about stuff like that, you're just so thrilled to be having a baby .

Take care
x

Hi minxi - big hugs and a virtual cup of sweet tea just to help with the shock
I am sure you will have great support from your DH and like everyone said sometimes fate deals you an interesting hand - just when you think you are in control!

I bet it will be brilliant and meant to be iyswim esp with DS3 - equal numbers and all (as if greedy needed any more tempting!) Even I (in the height of TTC desperation) can empathise with erratic feelings, though we are actively TTC I have these weird wobbles just around OVing when I think OMG what am I doing - I am just passing out of the baby stage with DS1 and life is lovely etc etc! But of course life is always about the bigger picture and you are a great mummy of 3 already so 4 will be a breeze - and rainbow will be keeping you company on the road to DC4
xxxx

oh Minxi I hope you are ok xxx sending hugs & from East London

Big hugs Minxi, hope you are ok. I can't really put any different a spin on what everyone has said, just echo what they say really - thinking of you. What has dh said?

Fettle, it's a tricky one with the house, I would say for me personally, it depends on how long left you have on your mortgage and the equity in the property... but in the current financial climate I would be more inclined to let the house until you are ready to buy again. I think that the money you make in rent would be better than the interest you could make from the proceeds in the bank with the current interest rates. I presume you live in an area where people are crying out for places to rent? Military areas are always good for that.

PS. I don't think it is cheap to buy at ikea, I have lots of things from there... just that I thought people would think I was cheap. Cos I am stupid that way.

x

minxi - just wanted to give you a hug reading your post. It is hard getting a shock that you are not expecting, I have so desperately craved a 4th dc, and can think of loads of positives, but when you are not looking for a number 4, it is hard to not think of all the things that are worry-some. I hope you manange to get out of the shock soon and talk to your dh, he will need time to take in the shock too. I am glad you came to talk to us about it, I hope that putting into writing helped in some way. I will be checking here to see how you are doing with the shock over the next few hours/days. Chooster is definitely one to be talking to here as she went through the emotions recently too. I hope between us we can help you through this time.

Ooooo Oooo oooo!!! i am officially VERY excited for you all!!! nice to have lots of new pregnancies and still more to look forward to!!!

I was thinking of you again this morning and hoping you are doing OK and coming to grips with your pg. Have you spoken with DH? Really hope he is supportive and you are able to have sensible conversations about it all. My DH really shone through this at this time and was so understanding - much more so than I expected. I hope your DH is the same.

On another positive side, I see so many threads on MN about "should I / shouldn't I" go for another child. At least in your case and mine a while ago that agonising about whats right is taken our of your hands - and the stressful ttc days had you decided to go ahead. Hope you are OK...

How are things for your rainbow - how many weeks are you now? Feeling OK?

Hi fettle - I'd forgotten about your letting / selling question. Me and DH both let out properties in London and an agent manages them for us as we are 300 miles away. Our experiences are slightly different as DH has had a stream of people through his flat so he's had the worry every 6 months or so about whether it will be empty for a period of time. On the other hand I've had the same people in my flat for 5 years now - they've been there longer than me! . Mine is also unfurnished and I've had no issues with things needing to be fixed. DH has had a steady stream of things that have needed to be fixed which has been annoying and costly. Ironically his is a 90's new build mine is ex-council and very 'lived-in'. So from my experience its been really positive and I've made some monthly cash as well as the value increasing - albeit slowly recently. In hindsight I think DH would have sold his. So I guess the questions are:

• How active is the letting market in your area
• What kind of people would your property attract (ie families who may stay longer)
• Whats the condition of things in the house like electrics / plumbing / appliances etc
• Are you in a position to dedicate some time to the management of the property, i.e simply assessing what the agents are doing can take time.
• Can you survive financially if you had a few months annually where there was no income but you were still making the payments

At least thats what we've been considering recently when we think about selling DH's place.

First bit was for minxi obviously

Hi All

Minxi - how you today?

Honey - hope you've enjoyed your snow? Its snowing outside here again now - I'm just fed up - I want to see my snowdrops! And with DH coming home next week - I want to know that we can do what we need to do when we want to do them and not be restricted by the weather!

Chooster, rainbow, ready - thanks for the advice on the house front - I can see positives and negatives to both sides and without a crystal ball I don't think we'll ever know what the right thing to do is! Chooster, it is a modern build and we've already had loads of trouble with the plumbing - you'd hope we've had enough of that now, but I doubt it! It will be unfurnished (although that's another question, should we leave a washing machine and fridge? Dishwasher is built in, but the others we'll have to buy replacements if we leave the current ones here).

Greedy - keep meaning to say - I'm sorry your trip to lapland was curtailed so much. But as it was all weather related - I don't suppose there is much that the travel company and airline could do about it - although I still have to chase up BA as they promised me a refund for my outward trip before Christmas, but I've not received it yet!

Right - my course has been cancelled tomorrow because of this snow, so I'm going to try and get an early night (again!) So tired at the moment.

Take care all.
xxx

hi ladies

snowed in again here!! and oscar is now full of cold so duvet day it is today!

minxi - wow what a shock for you, i hope you have managed to talk to your dh and take some of the weight off your shoulders. as the others say im sure you just need time to adjust and get used to the idea and concentrate on the positives.

fettle - i dont know what your original question was but dp rents out 10 properties all managed by himself and they are all unfurnished. even in the recession he has no shortage of calls from people requiring property and thats just from advertising in the local paper. All his lets are unfurnished too apart from washing machine, fridge freezer, it is written into the contract that they are responsible if these go wrong. Obviously all other maintenance issues he deals with and has a good team around him.

honey - thanks for the advice, i defo dont fancy the coil option thats why i was intrigues about the injection but after greedys experience...and i vaguely remember it having an effect on ttc too, i think il give it a miss.

ds2 is 3 months am i utterly crazy to be considering number 3? lately its all i can think about...and about having a girl

hi
more snow here again- just when i thought it was starting to go- grrrr- I have a tutorial tommorrow- not sure whether that will go ahead...I am stuck in as DP has taken my car to work as his is automatic and it is much harder to drive in the snow. And i had things to do today! Dex is snuggled up watching his favourite peppa pig dvd.

iam- girls are nice! But boys rock too . Unfortunately we can't choose what we get!!! I would recommend waiting a little bit longer before having number 3- I think it can get a bit chaotic when you move from 2 to 3- especially if they are all little.

right i need a cuppa
x

Hi girls - yes managed to talk to to Dh last night although not in too much depth as we are both pretty shell shocked!!
I saw my best friend last night too and she knew something was wrong straight away - anyway she has 4 boys!! she then rang me this morning laughing about Kerry Katona and number 5!!! Feel better for telling her and now DH.
I feel I can just chill for a few weeks now and take it all in. We are lucky space is not an object - we have 6 bedrooms and another home in Spain so holidays will be more of a challenge but not as bad..it is just the immense shock of a baby when I have a 10 month old! and all the thoughts seem a bit of a blur...

Anyway thank you very much for all your words and wisdom....

Must go as boys off again today due to the snow fall again - looks like narnia out side!!

minxi - glad you feel a little better now you have managed to tell dh and your friend. Small gap between children is hard at first but then fantastic, so it will be fine. Have you worked out your due date yet, or is that one step too far? In the meantime, enjoy the narnia snow, we are back to slush and no fun here.

Iam - you have hit that my baby is growing so I need another baby stage.....I can understand that! It is funny my brother and SIL have two boys and said for a long time, they would try for another, if they could guarentee a girl for their third and last child. But now she is pregnant they have both changed and said they now want another boy as they think 3 boys would be fantastic! So who knows, they are having a scan in a couple of weeks time, and we will all find out hopefully. Only you know if and when you would like to try for a third.

Greedy - you have to be ttc#4 soon!

Rainbowdays am still in shock and panic mode but am calmer - have checked my due date (trying to plan my holidays!)just now think have worked back properly and it comes out as the 18th September - which would be a week or so earlier as I would have to have another c-sec... bizarrely last time I said to the cons doing the c-sec for DS3 that I wanted to be sterilised and she said I cant do that for you as I would have had to let them know in advance - she siad I was making a rash decision and I said I wasn't I was very sure 3 was enough at the time!! Dh said we should sue them!
Think I can travel up to about 36 weeks - have already booked to go away in May so will book summer for when boys finish in July for 3-4 weeks or as long as I can get away with it for...
How are you feeling ? Have you lots of symptoms?
Iam I agree with rainbow, tiny baby equals adorable but they get older and harder, I said exactly the same when DS3 was tiny only last couple months thought actually er no mad crazy but now whats happened anyway!! Also iam I had the depo injection after DS2 for a year - think it was one every 3 months and I swear thats why it took over 3 years to fall pg with number 3 with help from accupuncture etc - if you were thinking ofd another anytime sooner or later I would steer clear of that!

DS3 is going into nursery end of the month only for two sessions but the two afternoons he will do will mean I can take the older ones to their activities without distraction of a toddler and then just collect him at 6.30...

chooster thank you for your thoughts and your right negative thoughts were the only things to come to mind!! Just about coping really and my two older ones planning etc my DH said well one positive ds3 has a little mate and its a 2 and 2 as opposed 2 and 1... Has your experience changed your mind about having a 3rd?

City have read back your weaning details and wow what alot of information - have looked at your bibs advice though and have ordered some!! Congrats on your news too!

Honey hope the course is going well - did you say your eldest just turned 11?!

Fettle thank you - shame about your course today - I have had enough of this snow, I have the whole family home today!! Not long till you see your DH I bet you and the children can't wait and must be very excited! Has he been away this long before or longer?

Seaside Just look at me 3 years ttc to 0 planning ttc!! It will happen for you again!! Interesting on the high chairs though - I have the fresco bloom - did but the bloom for half price new of ebay though and was just to sell it and get another one which sits up at the table - have just had new dining furniture so think the trip trapp will go better, albeit more expensive!

Ready Hope you okay and Hannah has established her naps better!!

Greed are you going to go for 4 now it might be the new 3?! Hope you ok x

Anyone else - probably missed someone - right must order school labels - and do more washing!!

minxi - 6 bedrooms? thats obscene! if we had 6 bedrooms i would HAVE to fill them!!! glad you have got your head round it a bit more! it will be fab! one of my main reasons for not having another one is the lack of space issue, so it's great you dont have to worry about that!!

can't believe its snowing here again too! rubbish!!

chooster - i wanted to ask the same question too. have you changed your mind about having another after your experience a few months ago?

also, just got the new boden catalogue and could easily spend about £700 just like that.............if only i had £700!!!! need some more patients at work, things are far too quiet at the moment.

The sixth bedroom is on the second floor (proper stair case)- which also has another tiny room/large cupboard off it - which is used as a store the main room is not used apart from a gym area/second study/junk room/store room/spare beds - so will have to turn that into guest room - only ever go in there to clean/hoover couple times year!! Can't even go to think about rooms at the moment!! ....
I am feeling better that DH is making me feel better
greedy is it chiropractice you do, can't remember ?

and haven't seen Boden catalogue yet - don't think the postman can get to us today!

So due dates:

CityAngel : 15th September
Rainbowdays : 16th September
Minxi : 18th September

Spooky........

I have changed mine to 11th September due to short cycles etc, and Minxi a week early due to CS

therefore

Minxi 11th September
Rainbowdays 11th September
CityAngel 15th September.......

Greedy - really is time that you saw that 4 is the new 3 as Minxi said!!!!!

Minxi - symptoms wise, I have stretching uterus pains and bit of tiredness, and getting a bit faddy about what I want to eat but overall so far so good. I just dread symtpoms stopping at this point, as I really really really want this baby to be the one that makes it, and not have a repeat of the last 5 times.

Seaside - hope it is not making you feel bad seeing 3 of us pg here, I am accutely aware of how hard it can be when you want to be pregnant and others all seem to be around you. If you need to come here and tell me to be quiet about pregnancy things let me know.

Hi Ladies, hope you don't mind me gatecrashing your thread?!
Just popping in to say congratulations to Rainbow - I'll keep everything crossed for you.

Best of luck x

Mh my gosh rainbow - please don't ever feel bad about posting about pg it is BRILLIANT! And we are on the pg board after all - we needed you guys now lottie has popped or we might have had the MN trade descriptions after us

I reserve my real life for the RL people hahahah only joking! Actually I was tempted to post that I was flouncing off to a TTC thread just to get greedy going but I could not do that to you pg girls! Anyway how selfish would that be of me!

So spooky that you three are so close in due dates! Wow - it is a bit like iammummy, MrsMc and me in Jan 08, funny how the preg panda sometimes drops in a triple BFP

honey - I actually would love a 3'ish year age gap in all honesty but am just always worried that time is not on my side. Anyway - the rate I am going I might get my wish!

We are mid cycle here and I have a probably TMI question but I will and throw it out there anyway - we are in the middle of the business part of the cycle and DH is really busy on a work project and works late into the night so no nice chilled early nights but mostly a 3 or 4 am quickie. I am trying not to read the riot act as last time that just = stress which in turn = none at all! But do you think the timing (middle of the night) and (ahem) commitment this month is a problem? I am mostly half asleep and then just think is it all worth it this month? I wil never be one of those who can "remember" the night DC was conceived as how could you possibly know when you are TTC like 7+ times in the month?!!

Iammummy -Wow - Oscar's speech is great - we are still at monosyllabic although he is trying to put together words just no verbs etc

Can I have a proud mummy emoticon today - we had first swim class of the term today and we are in a class where C is the youngest by at least 6 months but he is doing so well - he will swim a width on a noodle alone and is so nearly there without the noodle. The teacher was so impressed with him today. We laugh and giggle so much in the class.

On a bum note - he has had a massive eczema flare up No idea why really, he has sometimes had little odd patches esp backs of knees which never lasted long but they came up in Nov when he was poorly and have not really subsided much since then. Now his tummy is covered in a classic eczema rash and he is aware of it.

greedy - got my Boden catalogue today and thought of you I have to say I think it is way too pricey this year?? everything seems to be £49 or more and I don't think the quality warrants that. Keep that £700 in your pocket! (says she who has a £900 wish list on Toast! - I like to window internet shop!)

honey - hope you get to your course tomorrow.

fettle - been meaning to post re your house, but seems I am sort of in agreement with everyone else. Personally I would not sell but that is a what I am like - try not to sell unless I have to. Re renting it is best if you do not have to completely depend on the money iyswim? (mostly I do and it makes it much more stressful) Things will prob go wrong in the house, its sods law - I would def get an agent as I think it is worth it just to field the calls and filter the information, then if you get a good tenant you can that you can talk directly to you can cancel the management fees. It is worth remembering the more appliances/stuff you leave the more you have to repair/replace if it breaks. So take what you need I say or be clever like Iammummy's DP and make the tenant responsible in the contract.

I do know of 2 people currently who sold and rented planning to buy again at the bottom of the market and they have both struggled as their capital has dwindled away. You will need to contact your mortgage company - do you have a fixed deal? If you do they are more than likely to let you continue with it till the end of the fixed term. But then if still renting you will have to get a buy to let mortgage which will be more £ a month as the interest rates are higher but you could go interest only for 5 years maybe? However the Capital Gains issue is worth thinking about if you think you may never move back there. It is a toughie - sorry - not much help at all really am I?!

Is everyone else snowed in?? We have none here now - only rain - but it was sunny today and much warmer.

Must go and get Cassius dinner out of the oven x

Wow - sorry for the essay and hi mowmi