A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Lunatic - Tentative congratulations! the line may be faint but you well know you wouldn't have those hormones if there wasn't something going on!

My god you had a terrible time. Whilst Niamh's stillbirth was absolutely heartbreaking I was fortunate to have had an uncomplicated pregnancy and nothing detectable went wrong. I was at home when my waters broke with meconium in them so ambulance in but no time to scan as she was already crowning. Whilst I know it wasn't going well I am so glad I didn't know for sure that there was no hope at that final stage.

Knowing that carrying another baby could have dangers for you must be tough but I envy your 'action plan' simply because with us they don't know what went wrong so don't know what to look for and are just waiting to see what happens. Unfortunately all the scans in the world aren't going to help much as I was scanned at 36 weeks with Niamh (because they thought she was huge, and she was, about the size her sister was at 6 weeks) and she was moving the morning of the day I delivered her. As Rolf said, I'm not going to believe it will be ok untill I have baby in my arms.

I am probably getting completely ahead of myself but I have been thinking about who we will need around us should we get as far as delivering this baby as there will be an element of grieving involved which means that DH will probably not be in the position to be a negotiator for my treatment and care.

I have asked my sister if she would be with us as we can't afford/not sure I would want a doula.

11 weeks this weekend, booking in with the mw mon and nuchal scan on Thurs and thenthat's it until mid jan. Hoping xmas will make the weeks pass quickly.

Hi all,
My heart is breaking for all who have had a MC recently or in the passed i can fully understand the pain of a loss!
Hope is the only thing you can grab hold onto and not let go, i think you are all strong wonderful people and if its your hearts desire to have a child dont let go off that thought and desire, we women are real strong we are made not to break or shatter! thats why we have babies and all the emotional things we have to overcome!
I have 2 lovely DD - preg where a breeze! after i got married 2006 i found out i was preg but then came the pain i found out in an e/scan i was having an eptopic pregnancy i couldnt believe it!but was grateful had no op and baby passed on it on the stresful things was going back to the hospital for scan and blood tests looking around the room with women with bellys and geting good news! my world was turning upside down and inside out why me, why me! before this i would of said etting pregnant was easy but since then i have been trying and i got obsessed! every month checking preg tests! then i decided it was driving a big wedge between me and my DH so i decided to focus on my job and family hen we decided to do special guardianship to 2 wonderful boys - 9 and 3! then i had my hands full no time to think about babies! in march i lost my DM my heart hurt more than the ep and my world just crashed! then in may i was wondering no period due to my stress of he funeral and not eating, i decided to do a test and as waiting thought its nothing and stop being silly just about to throw in bin when it beeped and told me 3-4 weeks pregnant! i was shocked! now with what had happened in the passed i was a nervous wreak wishing time will fast forward every pain every twidge i thought no not again!but this baby is a fighter and now at 31 weeks im just happy baby is moving all over the place! the main thing is there is hope so please dont give up!

Hugs and kisses to you all - Sh77 and willibe - praying for you. xx

Urgh demon indigestion hence being up so late sipping peppermint tea!

Completely shattered mind. DH broke his foot Friday night playing football, put him in a taxi at 4am this morning to A&E after a night of 'being brave' - not very quietly I might add(as dd was sleeping) we picked him up at 6:15am which was a welcome relief from the torture of repeat questions from dd as to his absence.

Its a bit rubbish as DH is a self-employed carpenter, no work, no pay.

Lunatic- I'll see the consultant mid Jan when I have my detailed scan, guess I will find out more then.

Crumbs - I sound like a heartless mare there! I am being sympathetic to DH but I am given to muttering 'blood football' .

Hi ladies thought i might join this thread if that's ok.

After many mc's i am starting again using immune drugs to help make my body a more baby friendly environment!

I recently had a hysteroscopy and polyp removed but still find that at ovulation i am still bleeding (fresh blood, not old), sorry if tmi. Anyway im still hoping that the sperm can get through the blood to reach my egg!

Woollyjo, hope dh not in too much pain and the indegestion ha calmed!!!!!
sueXXX.

hello can i join this thread as i am in need of some friendly chat...

i miscarried in july...had an empty sac for weeks with lots of flase hope until i finally miscarried at 9 weeks...was horrible.

i am now pregnant again (5weeks) and im sooo scared, really want to be happy as its my first but i just cant stop thinking about what happened last time...

gonna see docs asap and ask to have a dating scan to put my mind at rest

sorry to be so self indulgent

how is everyone else??

Much love and baby dust xxx

Hi winjy,
sorry for your loss, it's hard isn't it and so difficult to relax and be happy but congrats on your bfp, will keep my fingers crossed for you and send you pmv+a.
sueXXX.

Welcome Sue & Winjy - Sue good luck ttc, Winjy hope you get an early scan & a bit of reassurance.

Lunatic - pleased you've got a BFP - obviously gonna be a huge worry but I hope things go really well for you. Everything crossed x

Woolly - nightmare re hubby - hope you're coping ok? 'Blowing a hooley' - one of my favourite phrases!! Made me smile when I was catching up with posts! Most people don't know what the hell I'm talking about when I say it!

I'm ok - had midwife booking in appt last week, nothing else till nuchal on 7th Dec - feels like a long time to not have a scan from 7wks till 12.5wks - might see if I can get a scan at the epdu in the next week or so just for a bit of reassurance - feel ok but keep fretting incase it's not growing as it should be etc - you know what it's like - I'm just panicking a bit really!

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxx

Evening all!

Hi Sue & Windjy - climb aboard and come and obsess with us so in RL you can be a picture of maternal calm!

Fracture clinic have decided DH hasn't fractured his foot after all - which is a relief but he will still be on crutches for a while (that's when dd isn't running off with them).

One baby - they gave me a dating scan at 10.5 weeks so I wouldn't have to wait too long.

Still on the peppermint tea ....

Hi everyone!!

Just been reading thru the posts on this thread and its so sad to hear of the awful experiences you've all had...im so sorry, my mc seems trivial in comparison.

Lunatic so nice to have someone with the same dates...not totally pointless to have a scan this early, at 6 weeks they say they can detect heartbeat...so for me, who had an empty sac every time i had a scan last time anything would reassure me and stop me worrying!!

Sue yeah ur right, it is really hard, im so worried but i know im not on my own and hoping that because they couldnt find a reason that it wont happen again.

Woolly glad ur experiencing such strong symptoms..my tiredness, sore boobs and occasional nausea act as major reassurance to me!! i long to feel as sick as a pig!! and iv been weeing loads too. im holding on to all these symptoms coz before i mc last time the symptoms stopped and i didnt feel preg at all so i knew...im hoping my age will be in my favour...just so scared.

sorry to be so self indulgent, i relied so much on a thread during my mc and now u are all my new lifeline and my stress ball!! once i calm down a bit im sure il be easier to tolerate!! so sorry again!!

sorry to everyone iv missed, too many to remember...hope im on this thread til the bitter end...gonna try and see my doc tomorrow but as im doing my teacher training course this year i have no free time!! may just have to take afternoon off!! have to tell work too coz il be heavy lifting otherwise...not telling anyone else til 12weeks...how is everyone else? u are all in my thoughts and im hoping and praying for us all that we all have bonny babies next year xxxxx

Hi all - just waiting for GP to get back to me to see if I can squeeze a scan in this week for a bit of reassurance - I had one at 6+5 then a dating scan at 7+3 & not got my nuchal till 12+2 so need a flutter on the screen to keep me going in the meantime!
I know what you mean about loving the symptoms Winjy - boobs are sore/huge, completely exhausted, have felt pretty sick this time & belly is definitely expanding so that's a bit reassuring in itself.
Great news re hubbys non-broken foot Woolly! Hopefully won't be too long before he's back at work!
Hang in there everyone . . . GOOD LUCK GANG! Here's to bonny babies next year hopefully!

Evening,

Had my booking in today with the lovelly MW who looked after me through my pregnancies with both my girls and delivered Niamh. She has offered to be about for this birth if I would like her to.

Found it hard to talk about Niamh's delivery but at the same time nice to be able to discuss it with one of the few people who was there and met her (especially as she said such reassuring things).

Hope you got your scan Onebaby.

Stop apologising winjy! we are here so you can explore all your worries.

Take care everyone xx

Hello ladies,
Gosh you have all been natering!
Sorry I've been quiet, Bertie's 6 month "birthday" knocked me for six, and this week is turning out to be a tough one in the build up to the 6 month anniversary of his death. Just tried to catch up on the news, sorry if I miss anyone.
Lunatic !!! HUGE congrats. So pleased for you. I am also so sad to hear your story and for your loss of your little Daisy.
Woolly and Lunatic, I completely understand the need to have an action plan and try to think about who we want to be there at the birth. One thing is for sure, this one is coming out of the sunroof.
Woolly, I am with you on the indigestion. I had it all the way through with Bertie, and I swear he was only so big because of all the renee ice... Also pleased to hear your booking went ok. Sometimes its nice to talk to those few people who met our little ones isn't it.
Onebaby, I hope you can get that extra reassurance scan. I tried to go from 8w, to 12w, but buckled and went at 10w for a scan at the epu.
Winjy, Sue ( and anyone else I've missed) welcome aboard!

Well I'm off to my parents for a day or two, trying to be gentle on myself this week. It means I can also go and visit Bertie.
I am also in a bit of an odd phase of pregnancy, that bit where you start to feel a bit better, but cant feel the baby move very much. ( I am getting the odd fluttering, but very sporadic) . Its making me feel really disconnected from the baby which is making me scared and nervous. I guess also that this week is a bit more about Bertie, so he is forefront of my mind ( not that he isn't the whole time tbh.)
Speak soon,
rx

Hi guys!!

went to docs yest she referred me to epu so will have appointment in few weeks coz im too early to scan anyway but at least the ball is rolling.

just wondering is indigestion normal this early on?? im only 5 weeks??

been feeling really dizzy too is this a good sign?

hope u and bumps are all plodding along gently xxxxx

Hi all

Mrs - Sorry you're having such a tough week, go easy on yourself. So difficult. Big hug x

Winjy - glad the ball is rolling for you. Hope you get your scan asap. I haven't had too much indigestion but I felt dizzy v early & my head & hormones were all over the place - couldn't concentrate on anything & am sure I appeared slightly mentally unstable to a lot of people!

Lunatic - yeah, I had an internal scan with my consultant at 6+5 which clearly showed my little apple pip fluttering & my dating scan at 7+3 was a normal ultrasound and I could see the heartbeat then too so I hope you get a scan soon & some reassurance.

Woolly - so nice of lovely MW to offer to be with you all the way & so lovely that she met your daughter. Great that she was so reassuring & supportive.

Our EPDU haved changed their criteria & won't do any in-between scans unless I've got pain or bleeding. But apparently one of the GPs at my surgery can scan me & they've asked him to see me (Monday at the moment but possibly Thurs)& he'll let me know for definite tomorrow (quite surprised they can do it but also a bit relieved!).

Sending everyone good wishes xxx

Hey all,

Guess I belong here now. We thought we where done. Of course not through choice really but 7 mc's and 2 DC's didnt want to push our luck. DS 1 was born 10 weeks early, DS2 I bled ALOT right the way through.

But we are doing it again it seems. 5 or 6 weeks, scan tomorrow, need some wise calming words

Congratulations Julezboo and welcome aboard!

I'm afraid I don't really do wise very well, hope all goes well in the scan xx

Onebaby, did you get your scan?

Hope you are all ok

Evevning all,
I was relieved to get a good nuchal result today - one less thing to fret about (I'm sure I'll be able to find something else to fill its place mind). The consultant was able to answer a few questions we had which would have other wise remined unanswered until I saw my NHS consultant in mid Jan.

Guess I have no excuse but to start thinking about xmas now.

How are you getting on mrs? Niamh's 6 months will be on Dec 30th. Not sure how it will affect us yet.

Take care everyone

Woolly - great news about the nuchal & glad you got some questions answered.

Lunatic - pleased you've got a scan booked, hope it's all good for you.

Welcome Julezboo - how did your scan go? Good luck.

Thanks for asking about my scan guys - I've got it on Monday afternoon so I'll let you know how it goes. Good news I hope. It's just so difficult because I've never had a successful preganancy I just don't know how I should be feeling or what's 'normal' so I'm really hoping everything's ok. I feel fine, no bleeding or pains so fingers crossed.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?