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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

977 replies

woollyjo · 13/10/2009 14:19

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

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BreakDancingBadger · 29/10/2010 13:59

Sayitwithsam I am so so sorry. Thinking of you. Massive hugs xxx

louisesh · 29/10/2010 20:09

Very sorry SAYITWITHSAM take care XX

Minione · 29/10/2010 21:28

Sayitwithsam - I am so very sorry. Thinking of you and take care. Life really is shit and I really feel for you xx

sayitwithsam · 30/10/2010 11:25

I need to hear more than ever that it's not over for us. We are so desperate to be parents but it seems so doomed now. We were told yesterday that we have to lose another baby before they will do further tests. It feels like we'd be condemning another baby to death by getting pregnant again, but the alternative is giving up completely.
How did you all keep going? We feel like we're in hell all over again.

LunaticFringe · 30/10/2010 19:21

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nancydrewrocked · 30/10/2010 19:57

sayit I am so sorry for you.

It's not over for you - you know that things slowly, slowly get better and they will again, just one little step at a time.

Of course you feel like you are in hell, you are in a horrible horrible place but don't give up hope.

LoopyLoupGarou · 30/10/2010 20:56

Oh SayitwithSam I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're OK and that someone is looking after you.

Take care of yourself. xxx

sayitwithsam · 01/11/2010 12:00

Who out there has decided enough is enough and had private tests to try and find a cause for their miscarriages?
I've emailed BUPA and a private clinic near my home but its seems to take people forever to answer emails these days. I can't face speaking to anyone yet and the hospital are no help. I want to feel like I'm doing something positive.

LunaticFringe · 01/11/2010 19:55

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jasmine51 · 01/11/2010 20:27

Sayit
Cannot praise St Marys highly enough. Saw Raj Rai and felt totally safe and cared for. Paid for all the tests and had great care afterwards which has now been transferred to my local NHS rmc. Do it if you can find the money
xx

sayitwithsam · 01/11/2010 21:58

Thanks both of you. I've seen St Marys mentioned on lots of chat rooms. Roughly what kind of price am I looking at here? I will find a way to get it, just not sure how yet. I also contacted foresight today. I found the web address in the back of a pregnancy book I got last year.
I chucked the pregnancy 'guide' I've been given twice by the midwife in the recycling today. The advice for when things go wrong is so crap. All it says is bleeding with cramps needs to be reported to your health care provider and miscarriages are sad, consider talking to friends and family or having counselling. I'm so angry that we are kept in the dark. These are our babies and our bodies. Why are we treated like idiots?!
My midwife text me to say my GP is fully booked for a week when she gets back from her holiday. Great bloody start!

jasmine51 · 02/11/2010 08:38

SayIt
Have you tried the Miscarriage Association for information - they have some good leaflets. Also can recommend Prof Lesley Regans book 'Miscarriage' which is full of really interesting and useful factual stuff.
What I really liked about Mr Rai is that he drew out a timeline of pg with key stages marked on it and said that more than one mc at the same stage is a fairly clear indicator of what might be causing it...and this gave me so much hope after being told over and over again by my GP..its just bad luck...or try again and see what happens...sheesh!
I had my tests this summer - first consultation was £230 and subsequent ones were £180. Tests varied according to what they were but I'm looking at my receipts now and in total for me and dh they came to about £1000 including the kara typing and pelvic scan. I also got a referral to my local NHS rmc clinic whilst I had those tests, explained that I had got the process underway privately and the consultant said he was completely happy to take my test results from Mr Rai and continue my care once they were back to save me money. In the event I had my results consultation with Mr Rai and it was pretty conclusive so havent been back to the local guy....but the option is there if things go wrong again (it seems that once you're in, you're in). From mc to consultation to treatment has taken 3 months...although it seems like years, but it has been the best reason for caning the credit card ever!
Mr Rais assistant is called Mary Stanton, I think she works from 1pm and shes lovely - give her a ring.
xx

LunaticFringe · 02/11/2010 09:42

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sayitwithsam · 03/11/2010 11:53

Rushed to A&E yesterday with excessive bleeding. Several hours of waiting and according to my DH I was turning green and then back to normal the whole time. Burst into tears in the waiting room which he thinks bumped us up. Couldn't believe how many time wasters were there. A few cut fingers, a sore throat, a scratch on the head! Unbelievable. And DH said some people were moaning as he helped me walk through to the doctors room because they were there before us!

nancydrewrocked · 03/11/2010 16:42

sayit how awful for you having to deal with A&E on top of everything else. I hope now you are home and resting.

I don't know anything about miscarriage investigations (although I had two early losses but I had my two healthy babies and DS2 inbetween).

I really hope you get some answers and please don't give up hope.

louisesh I hope yesterday went as well as it possibly could. Wishing you lots of strength.

nancydrewrocked · 03/11/2010 16:45

louisesh sorry just realised today is actually the 3rd - I am a day behind. I was meaning the service on Monday. Sorry.

BreakDancingBadger · 04/11/2010 10:52

Louisesh Sorry i havent been on sooner. I hope Monday went as well as it could have. Lots of love xxx

Sayit I hope you are ok. What a nightmare having to deal with A&E as well as everything else. Look after yourself xx

louisesh · 04/11/2010 13:32

Thanks all.Service went as well as can be expected our Georgie had a big turn out !!!!approx about 45 people.Such a hard day DH rerad out a lovely poem he d written.

Attended a local support group last night, quite hopeful as women there who have experienced what we have and gone on to have successful pregnancies.Got counselling today all this very draining but needs to be done.

SAYIT how you doing?

Hi to everyone else , hope all are ok ? XXl

sayitwithsam · 12/11/2010 17:54

Hi everyone.
Had my follow up scan today to see if the miscarriage was now complete. I asked if they could tell me if the swab the doctor at A&E took was ok, it was not. I have had an infection for two weeks, great.
They told me I'd have to wait at least 9wks until I got a gynecology appointment to talk about what to do now. But when I got home I had a letter saying I could see them straight away. So one good thing happened.
I went to see the chaplain as well to have Elliot put in the remembrance book. She was really nice and I didn't cry. So many staff remember my husband and I, it's amazing considering how many people they must see each day. There are some good people in the world.

Original poster
woollyjo · 17/11/2010 09:00

Hey its gone all quiet here

Time for a roll call I think ...

I'll start...

Still here with Seren 5.5 months, 4hrs sleep last night due to teething. Still can't believe what a journey it has been to get to this point.

Lunatic - how's it going?

OP posts:
Original poster
woollyjo · 18/11/2010 19:33

Just me then ....

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 18/11/2010 21:17

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BreakDancingBadger · 19/11/2010 17:44

Im still here Grin

Had a second scan today and i still have a baby with a heartbeat Grin Grin Im 8+3 weeks today.

WoollyJo Hope those teeth come through really quickly, i hate teething. Poor little Seren (beautiful name by the way).

Lunatic WOW!!! I cant believe how far gone you are now. Congratulations.
I bet you are getting more and more stressed by the day. I swear i grow a new grey hair everyday.
Hope you feel better soon

OneBabyPlease · 19/11/2010 22:38

I'm still here too. Our beautiful son Emin is almost 5.5 months & we've just got back from our first family holiday!
Every day is an absolute joy, the lack of sleep never seems to get me down!
Been catchin up with everyone's posts on here - lots of sadness around - wishing you all the strength in the world to get through it & come out the other side with beautiful, healthy, screaming babies.

Congrats on staying sane so far Lunatic!

Good luck to you all xx

Julezboo · 20/11/2010 08:30

Im still about too. Still vomiting daily, also have SPD and a bad shoulder!

I am 27+5 weeks now. Had a growth scan thursday just gone and he weighs around 2lb12ounces already! That news relaxed me a little as DS1 was born weighing exactly that and is just fine!

My bags are packed, my next growth scan is 20th Dec and I am hoping to get my section date on Monday :)

Hope everyone else is okay x