A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Thanks. Yes it probably is stress related. Everything is magnified when you're constantly worrying that something's going wrong isn't it.
Up until now I haven't been too mental (that is of course my own biased opinion!). I know that when I get to three months when the heavy bleeding started I will be a wreck.
All any of us can do is keep hoping and praying this is our time. It's not much is it but at least we have each other to talk to.
Also, you know you mentioned on my thread about ttc after abruption you said they'd induce me at 36 weeks was it? The consultant isn't planning on doing that. I don't think he's going to do the cervical stitch either. Nothing is being done differently to last time which is increasing my anxiety. They could at least make stuff up and pretend they are doing something. I don;t think I'd mind being lied to if it made me relax a bit.

Oh help. :(

I've been having pain, so I'm booked in for a scan tomorrow. This morning I was giving DD breakfast and fainted. I was then sick, shaky and had a cold sweat. DH is on his way home. Should I go to the hospital or wait for tomorrow's scan?
:(

I don't think any of us on here are qualified to give medical advice but the rule I learned last time was if in doubt get help.
If you are worried enough to be on here then call your midwife, see your GP or call the hospital. I don't know what yours is like but when I showed up at A&E with no referal letter I had to wait several hours and you don't need that added stress. So if possible get hold of your midwife or GP first.
Do you have an emergency midwife number at the front of your blue book? They will know what you should do.
I know it's impossible but try to stay calm. Good luck, I hope everything is fine.

Talk about timing. I've just had another small bleed. Same as the erosion so hoping it's just that. I do have some slight cramping and a short sharp pain up my bits. I text my midwife and she said that I need to just rest and try not to worry. I really hoped for no bleeding at all this time around.

Loopy, i hope your ok. Did you go to the hospital?

Sayitwithsam - Im sorry to hear about your bleed. How far gone are you?
Dont you just love the rest and dont worry advice, its possibly the hardest thing for any woman to do but esp for someone who has been through loss.
Hope it all works out ok for you and ill keep everything crossed for you x

Been having a bit of a hard time recently. I want this pregnancy so much but just cant stop stressing over it. Iv put off booking in with my Dr incase i jinx it and yesterday i burst into tears while talking to my husband about it.

I know this is a really really stupid thing but im kinda hoping this baby is a boy as i know i can carry them to term and keep them alive.... i know how ridiculous that is...

I know in my heart that my daughters sex had nothing to do with her dying but i cant stop thinking it.

Hope everyone is well and those bumps are growing nicely xxxx

I'm exactly 11 weeks today. Still cramping and brown blood when I wipe. I am so scared. But at least my midwife was honest with me. There's no point in me being sent for scans every time because they won't be able to see anything anyway. Being pampered by my DH is all we can do.
You're not silly BreakDancingBadger for thinking a boy would go full term. I don't care what sex the baby is either as long as it's healthy but there's this voice in my head saying if it's a boy then it will be Archie again. I know that's unhealthy but you can't help what you feel can you?
Hope with everything I have that we all get our babies.

Loopy - Hope you are ok? Did you manage to see a doctor?

SayitwithSam - I bet you are scared and worried, its only natural to be. I hope everything goes ok, take care.

I am also worried about the same thing happening if its another boy. I really don't mind having a boy or a girl but am worried that Malachy died beacause he was a boy.

Hi
I hope you don't mind if i join this thread? i literally only found out i am pregnant i think it makes me 4+3 - i had a MMC last Dec at 10 weeks. I have a DD who is 6 and a DS who is 4. It feels very odd at the moment - the joy of seeing "pregnant" on the test was so fleeting - replaced by this overwhelming desire to ignore it until i know it is a keeper. what makes it hard is i am pregnant exactly the same time as last year in fact, just a week early. i found out the baby died because i decided to have a picture taken before christmas as it was too early to have a 12 week scan and the thought of the run up to christmas and re-living last year fills me with dread.
i don't want to talk to anyone about it -except my Dh and i found this thread and i thought, what a lovely title. People keep saying "at least you have 2 already" but it doesn't stop me from wondering and missing the one we lost.
best of luck with all of you

loopy hope you are ok and that you went to the doctors. I was feeling out of sorts yesterday, called the midwife who sent me to the Dr with whom I was quite apologetic. She reiterated that you should always seek advice.

sayitwithsam I hope the bleeding has subsided. I know it is difficult to relax but bleeding really can mean nothing (I had a little early on with this baby and a lot with my first baby who is now a healthy 5 year old) and you've had it checked out so try not to be scared (I know how difficult that is)

I had my "big scan" today. My consultant who I hadn't met before looked very fierce (and I mean that I the old fashioned sense of the word!) but was wonderful with me - she was so sympathetic regarding my history and reassuring about this pregnancy. I couldn't have asked for more.

She did a really thorough scan and everything looks pretty near perfect There is a small cyst in the brain which can be a soft marker for chromosomal disorder but since I have had the CVS she assures me she is not concerned and she expects it to disappear and the baby is a little on the small side (but so am I and both DD and DS2 weren't big) so no huge concern and she is going to scan me in another 8 weeks just to check everything again.

I can't tell you how relieved I am - I know there is still such a long way to go but 10 weeks ago I wouldn't have dared believe I'd have got to this point.

Oh and almost forgot the very exciting news that it's a girl - which DD is delighted about and was what secretly deep down was what I wanted too: somehow having two of each just seems right.

Wishing everyone else well. i am going to enjoy the rest of this evening on a high because I know by tomorrow I'll be back in worry mode

Hey all

I went to the GP, who sent me to the hospital. I waited around for hours, they did an internal and said there was nothing they could do until tomorrow's scan, but that they'd like me to stay in overnight. I had DD with me and it was way past her bed time, so I declined their offer and came home.

I know it's silly, but my instincts say this isn't an ectopic and that everything will be fine.

Please keep your fingers crossed.

Sayitwithsam - I hope you're OK and that it stops soon with no complications.

Hi Page, nice to meet you.

Thank you all for your concern. xxx :)

will keep my fingers crossed for you and positive thoughts your way tomorrow loopy

FX for you LOOPY

C0ngrats NANCYDREWROCKED lovely news XX

Hi PAGE again FX for you.Can only imagine how scared you are.I will be the same next time , its only natural.

BREAKDANCINGBADGER know exactly where you re coming from.Georgie, my little girl, we ve just lost was very much wanted However, i do think [maybe] a would prefer a boy next time if theres any reason i can t carry girls [though she passed away at 41 weeks soo had obviously done very well and girls are suppose to be stronger!!!].But on the other hand would love another girl.

Look at me saying all that like i m stupid enough to firstly; get a choice? secondly;make it that far!!!! Shut up LOUISE.Still hard here, still 1 day at a time.Still missing our Georgie terribly.

Saw her again at the funeral palour today to say goodbye.Service is Monday god its soo hard.She was all dressed in pink,looked peaceful just like shes asleep.My poor Dh was willing Georgie to wake up.I can only hope we ve done all we can for my darling.

Off to my gp tomorrow for a sick note.

Hi to all XX

Just to let you all know I went for the scan this morning, it's not ectopic :) , but too small to see a pole so going for another in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for thinking of me. :)

Threatened miscarriage. All I can do is wait and it's like torture.

louise just to say you are entitled to your FULL maternity leave should you choose to take it. My HR tried to put me on sick - don't let them, it could wreck any future references. If you are entitled to mat leave under normal circumstances, you are entitled to it for any baby delivered after 25 weeks.

I had 3 months off and used my 'staying in touch' days to ease myself back in with the option of backing off if I needed to. I didn't want to go back too soon and be a mess infront of my colleaguese (my role is public facing so I needed to be able to handle that too), I did go back in to see them fairly early on so they could see I hadn't grown an extra head.

xx

Thanks WOOLLYJO i know i can have my full mat leave but i ve choosen to change to sick leave as i get 6 months full sick pay per year [got about 4 months left until March ish!!] but if i stay on mat leave from 14th Nov i d be on half pay plus SMP which equals me loosing about £400 per month!!!

As with regards to sick i m not worried at all itb won t make any difference to when i leave as i ve got a totally legitamate reason for having been off.Was off for 3 months last year with stress due to the MCs and was reassured by occ health wouldn t make any difference for potential employers.

My DH works in HR soo got my own personal advisior!!! I ll be going back on phased return, which lasts 6 weeks,start at 2 days per week building back up to full time whilst getting full pay.Will be popping in for cups of tea to stay in touch .

SAYITWITHSAM FX for you, take care XXX

Loopy - Glad everything is ok :)

sayitwithsam Im crossing absolutely everything for you that this bubba hangs on.

nancydrewrocked Congratulations on your little girl :o im so excited for you.

Louisesh How was it seeing Georgie at the funeral home? I found great comfort in seeing Freya as she looked nothing like the little girl i had given birth to (it had been 2 weeks due to the post mortem) and it gave me closure. Ill be thinking of you on Monday and i know you have done everything you can for her xxx

page62 So sorry to hear about your last pregnancy but i know exactly how you feel about you new pregnancy. I found out im pregnant again 2 weeks ago (had a stillbirth, at 31+5 weeks, 3 months ago)and really wanna get excited like other women but im terrified incase it happens again xxx

Sorry if I spoke out of turn Louise you are clearly much better informed than I or my HR dept were at this point. As long as you get the time you need to recover physically and come to terms mentally with what you have been through.

Great to hear the scans went ok lunatic

Thinking of all you other ladies battling on.

xx

Not at all woollyjo you didn t speak out of turn.Don t worry i won t be rushing back!!!! Luckily work is the one thing i don t need to worry about.

BDB was nice to see Georgie again, she didn t look much different just a bit pinker in the cheeks,lovely in the pink pigglet jump suit we d bought her.The only thing is i didn t want to leave her but i had a good chat with her and put photos of family and our cats with her,letters from me.mum and my sister,poem from my DH and 2 teddies.As my sister said shes her mums daughter "doesn t travel light!!!"FX for you XXX

FX Lunatic for you now X

Louise We did exactly the same. Freya's little basket was full of photos teddies blankets and letters hahaha it was bursting at the seams when i left but i cant have her forgetting us now can i :) xxx

Lunatic Congratulations on the scan :) Im keeping everything crossed that the rest of your pregnancy is so easy going it gets boring (yeah right!!)xxx

I lost the baby this morning. I don't think I can do this again.

oh sayitwithsam i am so sorry, life can be terribly unfair. i am so so sorry.