A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Hey ladies

May I join you please?

I realised I was pregnant this weekend. Our DTD1 was stillborn at 32 weeks last June. DTD2 is now 15 months, We had thought about TTC, and I went to see the consultant to see what the care would be like after what happened. The meeting was awful and very disappointing, so I wasn't sure about TTC, but it would seem that it's too late!

I am absolutely shit scared terrified and not sure really what to do with myself. I tried to tell my mum but she doesn't believe me (another thread going on there) because she doesn't want me to have any more.

Horrible but also nice that we are all going through similar things, really glad I found this thread.

Take it easy all. :)

Hi All,

Great to see some new names here, simply because after being through such terrible times you are still all fighting and winning (no matter how you may feel on a daily basis, that you are here at all means you are incredible women).

sayitwithsam Hi, I don't think you will ever completely get away from feeling guilty, I fell pg 10 weeks after Niamh was stillborn at term and was really shaky telling people because I thought they would dissaprove. Even now I feel bad at times and dd3 is 4.5 months old.

Lunatic Hi, so glad you are still here xxxxxx

This is one hell of a journey for our poor damaged hearts (and nerves) shriek as much as you need to here xx

Haven't posted for a while under dcb - namechanged for a while for something else. Anyway, my feint line was def a line and I'm now 8wks. My MW has been lovely (she looked after me with ds) and organised a scan for me. They've been lovely at the hospital as well and I'm already booked in to see a consultant with another scan in a couple of weeks.

I'm taking it a day at a time and trying not to plan if I can. I know there are no guarantees where pregnancy is concerned. I used to think that if you made it to 12 weeks it would all be ok and definitely by the time of the 20 week anomaly scan. Having DS has changed all that. I'm really happy to be pg again but I'm feeling really sad about DS today. Most days I feel ok and we're just carrying on as normal. Even when DD was talking about him at the weekend. Than today, it's almost like it comes from no-where and I'm not sure what the trigger is. I've just been into town shopping for some bigger jeans and nothing happened in particular.

We've told close friends but I'm dreading other people finding out - especially at work as I'm still on mat leave and so only going to be going back for a short while.

I know most people are kind but I can't help thinking they must think I'm pretty heartless to be pg again so soon.

Sorry - just needed to get that off my chest xxx

Hi Ladies, sorry i havent been on in a while.

Got my BFP last night and im so happy but absolutely terrified of what is gonna happen now. Im only 1-2 weeks pregnant (not even due on til Sat)so have a VERY LOOOONG journey ahead of me and i have everything crossed i make it to the end this time with a breathing baby i can take home.

Just been reading through everyones posts since i last came on and everything im feeling right now has just been summed up by many of you. Im so glad we all have a place to voice our worries that we cant really say out loud in RL.

Thanks again to Wooleyjo for starting this wonderful thread xxx

LoopyLoupGarou I've also had terrible meetings with consultants. 8 weeks after losing Archie I saw one guy who was convinced I'd been in a car accident and that's why I lost him! I went to my GP or midwife if I sneezed too hard so why on earth would I miss out information on that scale?!
Last week I saw a different consultant who was supposed to talk me through my 'care plan'. He had not read any of my history so I had to go through the ordeal of losing my baby all over again, then he said "right book yourself in for your scans and I'll see you next time". I was then sent to have my bloods done but they later called to say they should have done that next time, oh and they'd booked my scan in 4 weeks too early so I'd have to go back for that too! It's hard enough being petrified every day that I'm going to lose another precious baby, let alone having these useless morons as my care givers. When I win the lottery I'm moving somewhere with a much better hospital! To top it all off there was a heavily pregnant woman in the carpark when I got there puffing away on her cigatrette, then she held up the queue for ages because the receptionist wanted to know why she kept cancelling her scans and turning up when she felt like it. I wanted to punch her.
Hi lunaticfringe. I've missed chatting to you. Glad everything is going well.

Hi all - sad to see so many new members but glad you've all found somewhere to as couldthisbeit says say it "out loud".

I have just got back from the most amazing 5 days away with DH. Sad to leave him there but was lovely to relax, catch up with friends and 5 days feels like a very long time when you're not drinking!

No news here - big scan next week, will be 23 weeks and so should get a definitive answer as to whether things are going to progress. I am terrified but also welcoming (fingers crossed) the end of the "what ifs".

take care all

lunatic - I wont actually be 23 weeks at all - but the drs refer to it as "the 23 week heart scan" so I seem to have adopted it!

I had just over two weeks added at the last scan(having had a week knocked off at the first scan so not that shocking!)

TBH - I am taking all the dating with a (big!) pinch of salt so I am not really paying attention. I know exactly when I conceived so not overly concerned. Will see what they come up with next week but by my calculations I will be 20+4!

Hope everyone is well.

Hi All can i join please?

10 days ago i gave birth to my beautiful daughter who was stillborn at 42 + 1 weeks.This was my 4th pg.Im 39 in the last 2 years i ve had 1 MMC,1MC and 1 CP.Our daughter Georgie was concieved in Jan and had a fab pg was monitored well by consultant,had 2 weekly scans up to 12 weeks , with pregnayl injections twice a week.I had pushed to atten a recurrent miscarriage clinic all investigations were nad.Took aspirin up to 36 weeks as prescribed by the consultant.

All good with my pg had 2 private scans all good.Up to 41 weeks Georgies hb loud and strong on Fri 8th oct i had my 2nd sweep,heard Georgies HB then 20 hours later i couldn t hear her HB,we attended hospital ;nothing.I went in to hospital the next day and after an easy 6 hr labour our darling daughter was born.

Family support wonderful.We have just arranged Georgies service for 1st Nov.Georgie had a post mortom just to see and we felt we owed it to her.

Georgie has bought soo much joy and positivity in to our lifes.She has made my dH even more desperate ttc asap for another child, never to replace Georgie, never.Everyone is in love with her.Mw have said when i next get pg i will be scanned every 2 weeks from 28 weeks and they will have me in for a c section at 38 weeks.

Good to read all your stories to give us hope.

louisesh I am so sorry for your loss, Georgie is a lovely name. You sound so brave in your post. I hope you are coping in RL and I am glad you have plenty of family support.

Wishing you strength for 1st November and the ongoing months.

Hi Ladies

We went to see the genetecist today, as we thought they couldn't tell us anything for certain and alyhough our chances of this happening are statistically higher than the average person its still fairly low. We've been told we willl be monitored more closely during this pregnancy but I haven't heard from my consultant (i spoke to her PA last Friday) and I'm not seeing the community midwife for another 2 weeks so I'm feeling a bit anxious.

I just want everything to be ok.

Louisesh - I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope you are getting lots of support in rl and I hope Georgie's funeral will give you some peace. I found Malachy's funeral so hard but it also gave me a sense of peace. Take care x

Thanks for the kind welcome Nancydrewrocked and Minione.Good to hear Malachy's funeral helped, a little. Will be checking in, if thats ok.As don t really know where i fit in any more!!!

I'm so sorry Louisesh. Your post has left me in tears and I'm sure I'm not the only one. There aren't words to describe the intensity of the pain caused by losing a baby.
My DH and I had a naming ceremony in the hospital for Archie. The hospital chaplain was so good to us and we didn't want to take him out of the hospital. I've never cried so much in my life. I had my head in my husbands arms the whole way though. But it helped us to say goodbye to him. I hope it helps you too.

I was worried about talking to my GP about trying again so soon after losing him. I didn't want anyone to think I was trying to replace him, and that's something a lot of us seem to share. But she was great. She explained that if it's what we both wanted it was a great way to help us deal with the grief because we were focusing on something else other than our sadness. If our family or friends had anything negative to say, then that's their problem to deal with.

Hello all - been a while since I've posted, somehow the thread came off my watch/on lists so marking my place!

Except for one day I've been free of bleeding for a week now which has done a lot for my sanity. Can't believe I've made it to 18 weeks, a while back it seemed like I'd never get this far and am crossing fingers it means things are resolving internally - have to wait until Nov 9th for my scan before I'll find out anything further.

Good luck with your scan next week NancyDrew
Louisesh hope the service is beautiful on Nov 1 xx

I'm so sorry to read some of the recent posts, passing lots of hugs and strength to all of you xxx

My DH has a week off next week for half term, really looking forward to having him and kids around as I've largely been on bed rest / "take it easy" mode for a long time now and it gets frustrating. May even go away for a week somewhere, though not on a plane. If all continues to go well then I'm due to return to work week after half term - feels really strange after having been off work for so long but suppose need to cross that bridge when I get to it...

louisesh my heart goes out to you, 16 months ago I was in a very similar situation to you when our secound daughter Niamh was still born at 40wks, the doctors think her heart stopped beating shortly before I went into spontaneous labour but we weren't aware of a problem until my waters broke (my labours are short so there wasn't time to detect anything much). This was after 2 MCs in the run up to Niamh,s pg.

We only know what didn't cause Niamh's death, not what did, I was and have since been blessed with uncomplicated pgs.

All I could think of after Niamh's birth was another baby althogh I felt terribly guilty about it - my need for that baby was so strong and 10 weeks later I fell pg with our third daughter who is now 4.5 months old.

I hope we can be the support you need and a chance to speak freely. Be kind to yourself xxx

SAYITWITHSAM Archie is a lovely name.We too had a naming cermony was lovely.The hospital chaplain was lovely we ve asked him to conduct Georgie's service on 1st Nov.

WOLLYJO your story is very similar to ours.How did you manage? How did you get through each day? I find i can only function on a day to day basis.I need to get pg asap i can t bear the though of returning to work without being pg.Everyone has been lovely about our need ttc asap , we re even hoping x100 times that at Georgie's bday next year we can be toasting her whilst looking after our new baby.Maybe i m naive but its the only hope keeping me going at the moment.

Thanks WHIZZYMUMMY

Thanks all for your lovely welcomes XX

I know what you mean about the desperation to have a baby. I've worked out my edd is the 17th June, Malachy was born on the 12th. I'm very nervous and anxious about this pregnancy but I have to believe that it will be ok.

louisesh I was ok for the first few weeks but then I think I came off the post birth hormones and crashed. A day at a time is all you can do, try and focus on your physical recovery especially if you want to ttc soon. Eat as well as you can bear to, sleep as much as you can, I never knew how exhausting grieving is.

You wish for another life will not diminish the existance of Georgie. Seren (dd3) was 4 weeks old on Niamh's birthday.

xx

Hello old faces & newbies - I have been reading the recent posts & am so saddened to hear some of your experiences.
Wishing you lots of strength & good luck in the coming weeks & months.
I was desperate to conceive again after each of my 3 MCs, I can't imagine how strong that urge must be after a full pregnancy & giving birth - you are in no way disrespecting your late child's memory by wanting/needing to have another baby. Listen to Woolly - she always has some wise words borne, sadly, from experience.
Louise - wishing lots of support in RL, so very sorry for your loss.
Lunatic - great to hear you , congrats on being 18/19 weeks & hope you have a smooth ride over the next few months xx
Wishing all of you the very best (DC1 is now 4.5 mths old & I too am one of the threads 'good news stories', I hope it offers a little bit of hope to some of you).
Good luck everyone - stay strong & keep going xx

Hi all, hope you're all well

Just a quick question - has anyone managed to get an early scan? I had one after a bleed at 6 weeks last time and found out that it was twins. I'm so bloody scared a) generally and b) that it might be twins again that all I want is a scan soon. I know I can pay for one, but if I plead are the NHS likely to give me one?

loopy I have had early scans in past pregnancies, once due to bleeding, once because I had had fertility drugs so they were scanning to see whether I was sucessfully pregnant and then when they couldn't tell for sure a later scan to check.

I think it varies enormously from unit to unit. Best thing thing to do is give your midwife/EPU a call, explain your situation and ask.

When I saw my MW a few weeks ago I me ntioned that I had been panicking and she asked why on earth I hadn't been in - she was so sympathetic and despite the fact that (past history aside) I have no reason to be panicky (e.g. no bleeding etc) she said she would see me any time and would always fot me in even if receptionists said she had no space.

Good luck

I was supposed to have an early scan this time because of the abruption last time. I didn't get one until 9 weeks which seemed like a lifetime. Nancydrewrocked is right, it does depend on your hospital. If you've got a good midwife she can plead your case to the hospital.

LUNATICFRINGEyou ve really been through it haven t you? Poor you.Happy for you where you re at now .FX for you

My MW has said as soon as i next get pg i ll be referred back to the consultant seeing them regularly,scanned every 2 weeks from 28 weeks and in for a c section at 38 weeks.Assume i ll also be on pregyanl injections twice weekly in the early days and all being well scanned every 2 weeks.So they ve already made out a plan for me.
RE; early scans i ve managed to get them before by lying and saying i m bleeding and managed to be canned early at epu.

One more day at a time ,still hard mantra to self ; keep going Louise..

Hi to all XX

I was wondering if it was normal to have moderate nausea for four weeks and then it get much worse? I've been counting down the weeks thinking it will get better soon but it's getting more difficult to eat. I know being ill is a good sign so I'm pleased to be feeling stuff but I'm worried the babies not getting enough to grow well.
I only had two weeks of nausea with Archie so I'm hoping this means this pregnancy will stick to the end.
Also, how much CM is ok? I've been getting this really thick snotty like mucus on and off for about a month (sorry for being gross, but if I can't ask these things on here, I can't ask anywhere). I do ask my midwife things but she always seems dismissive of what I ask.
I am going to be a nervous wreck the whole time I know it!