A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

I understand how you feel, but cannot imagine how scared you must be after your stillborn one too, I am wishing you lots of love and luck for this pregnancy.

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant, and last year I had a missed MC of twins at 16 weeks, so I am terrified of it happening again, as before I carried them for about 4 weeks after they'd died, but didn't have any miscarriage symptoms, only found out at a scan that they had died about 4 weeks previous, so I am scared that if I do loose the pregnancy this time that I might not know straight away again, and I am constantly checking myself for signs of anything.

Thanks for your replies. Our son lived for 2 weeks and to look at was perfect, looking like any other baby apart from all the equipment. I guess we were lucky that we had that time with him and also time to try and come to terms with what was about to happen, although we spent a lot of time hoping things would turn out differently. Our life is just so different from what I was expecting.

I think I was feeling pretty low when I posted the other day - I'm usually a 'lurker'. We went to see our counsellor yday and I'm feeling better. Mainly as we have to communicate with each other during that hour, unlike at home.

Thanks for lee=tting me get it off my chest - sorry for hijacking your thread.

Still no period at 38 days and not sure if I feel pg - certainly very wobbly at the momemt but prob no different to usual. Did a tescos test and not sure if I'm imagining a line or not.

Thanks again everyone x

Hi everyone, my husband and i have 2 wonderful children, unfortunately after giving birth to our second child i fell into a horrible depression and contemplated taking my life, fortunately i recieved treatment and recovered, we desperately want a 3rd child and i fell pregnant 5 mths ago, we were well aware that post natal depression could recur but what i didnt expect was to fall into a depression in the 1st few weeks of pregnancy, i felt so bad at the time that the only way to end the depression was to emd the pregnancy, so we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate, since then iv thought of nothing else and wished with all my heart that i asked for help, we have been researchin prenatal dep and hv been in contact with gp and midwife, one says count myself lucky with what i have(which we do everyday) the other says that there is plenty of support, we want to have another naby but want to be sure that there is hope for prenatal dep, if anyone has any advise or has been in same situation, also i heard that my fluoxetine can go up to 60mg in preg if needed, does anyone know about this? Thanx xx

Can I join too?

My history: 1 mmc in 2007 followed by a healthy pregnancy which resulted in DD in 2008. Had another mmc in June but they did not get everything and I then went on to naturally mc the rest, which resulted in a lot of bleeding, admission to hospital and another ERPC. Most horrifying experience of my life, though I can imagine things much worse (which I am sure some of you have been through :( ). Anyway, had an AF and now BFP! We were not really trying, it just happened.

We found out today and I have told DH plus 3 friends. No intention to tell anyone else though I suspect I will cave in and tell my mom although I know she will blab so trying not to.

I feel ok other than sore boobs and a little sick and omg the headaches! I do not want to join a antenatal thread here, just the post-loss threads, if thats ok. And fingers crossed for a sticky bean.

Hi to you all, great to see everyone chatting away supporting each other.

Such sad stories but that you are hear at all makes you incredible women - never forget that.

Our little light at the end of the tunnel is growing fast (17 weeks old now).

Take Care x

Hi all - like woolyjo said it's lovely to be able to support eachother on a thread like this. MN has kept me sane over the last few weeks (or just about :) ).
I'm still on bed rest and waiting and hoping my haematoma resolves. Midwife heard the heartbeat on Tues so that helped me calm down a little and I'm booked in next week for the Consultants clinic again. I've found some comfort in finding others on MN to chat to about having a SCH as it feels daunting to be facing something unknown - plus I need some positive stories. Am crossing fingers as each day rolls on and trying to stay positive!
Lots of hugs to all you lovely ladies and so sorry to hear what some of you have been through xx

Hello all

This thread actually fell off my "you're on" list as I have been posting like a mad woman on every conceivable topic in an attempt to try and keep my mind off the interminable wait for news.

Anyway I have dug it out and wanted to check everyone was doing OK.

I had a MW appointment today - been dreading and looking forward to it in equal measures. Took her an age to find a heartbeat but it was there so another hurdle crossed.

Take care.

Hi - Know how you feel, your post made me laugh, I've been reading so many threads, seems to do part of the job of keeping me distracted!

Hope you're feeling well and glad you were able to hear the heartbeat.
I'm back into hospital tomorrow and really hoping I get some good news!

Hugs to everyone and hope you're all having a good week.

Hello everyone

I'm going through a second miscarriage, first one was in June this year. Gutted. Just wondered what to expect in terms of next steps and investigations that will be done. Will I ever find out what the cause is? I really feel I need some intervention or I will just continue to miscarry. Any advice?

Thank you

Welcome Diddy - I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. As I understand it no investigations are carried out until someone has had 3 miscarriages - this happened to me & after the 3rd one I had a blood test which identified that I have Factor V Leiden, a blood clotting disorder which affects pregnancy. When I got pregnant the 4th time I injected myself daily with blood thinners & thankfully I got my OneBabyPlease wish & now have a 4 month old son. Miscarriage is quite common which is why they won't investigate until it's happened 3 times - twice is not uncommon (no less heart wrenching though) & it is only when it's happened 3 times they think there may be something not quite right. So you may well go on to have a successful pregnancy next time. I think I was fortunate in getting a diagnosis as most people don't necessarily have something identifiably 'wrong' with them. Miscarriage is such an awful thing to go through - I'm not an expert on any of this but I'm just offering my experience as something for you to go on. I hope you are getting lots of support in real life & go on to have a successful pregnancy next time (ask for an early scan if you are pregnant again - it may offer you some reassurance). There are lots of people on this thread who have suffered loss & it's a good place to come to sound off & get some advice. Take good care & lots of luck xx

Welcome dcb, summerrose, banana & merlino too. Hope you are all doing ok. summerrose - I don't have any experience of this but I hope you are getting lots of care & support in RL.

Good to hear everyone else's updates - fingers crossed your appointment went well Whizzy?
Pleased you heard a reassuring heartbeat Nancy.
Have a lovely (and maybe a bit wet) holiday Lunatic!
I'm sure Seren is an absolute joy Woolly - enjoy every moment! I think Seren is a Welsh name but it is also Turkish - my DH is Turkish hence DS's name Emin - it was my late FIL's name.
Take care everyone xx

Hello all
Diddy, really sorry to hear about your miscarriages :( I was under the impression not much is done until 3, but might still be worth seeing if you can have a chat with anyone about it or your GP for starters? Good luck.
Lunatic, hope you're enjoying your holiday and maybe escaping the heavy rain we've had!
OneBabyPlease hope you're enjoying your little one, 4 months is a lovely age I think.

Had my antenatal clinic appointment yesterday and finally saw the Consultant! I was scanned which was great to see the baby was fine but the bleed is still there and he didn't say whether it was better or worse. I'm going to stay positive and assume he would have told me if it was worse!
He was very nice but I suppose I should have expected advice wise it was more of the same - they can't tell me what will happen with the pregnancy nor how long I will bleed for. Basically said stick in there, rest more until the bleeding stops and I feel more comfortable as am still really uncomfortable. So that's me really, signed off work still but at least not on strict bed rest and wait and see. Kind of getting used to it and crossing fingers baby keeps growing well and muscles this bleed out of there :) Now have to wait until my anomoly scan and follow up with Consultant.
Am looking very pregnant now as well and am sporting a good old bump. Consultant said my uterus was presenting the size of 20 weeks when I'm only 16 must be that fibroid beefing things up a bit too!

Hugs to everyone xxx

Hi diddy sorry to hear about your miscarriages, I don't really have any advice although seeing your GP can't harm. I think that the help you will get is very much dependent on whether you have other children and how far along you were when you misscarried. I hope you get some support.

whizzy well I suppose that is good news of sorts, in the no news is good news manner

Like you whizzy I am sporting an enormous bump - have had strangers ask when I am due so no mistaking it which is good. I love it when I get to the properly pregnant looking stage as opposed to the over indulged in cake look.

I am counting down the days until me anomoly scan (3 weeks to go - how time drags!) but I am off to see DH who is overseas at the moment next week...sans children - wohoo. I am going to buy some books tomorrow and my plan is to lie by the pool and read and maybe eat some nice food.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Hi everyone,
Sorry i havent been on in ages. My baby making isnt going so well. I actually cried when i came on last month... What a complete loser.

dcb- Im so sorry to hear of the loss of your DS... I know exactly how you feel when you say you are desperate to be pregnant again.

Hope everyone is doing well and all those baby bumps are growing bigger and bigger by the day :o

Thank you for your support guys.

I asked at the EPU about tests etc and she said they could do them no problem, which is a relief. I'm 36 this year so perhaps that has something to do with it, or possibly she saw how devastated I was. I already have a 4 year old daughter so know I'm very blessed and lucky.

I was 8 weeks when I miscarried in June (blighted ovum) and am 5 weeks now - going back for final blood test next Tuesday and then they will advise of the best procedure for 'removal'.

Ooh nancydrew, sounds lovely - enjoy the rest :) 3 weeks to go, hopefully with a nice little break to distract you as well it will start to go a bit quicker.

Got 5 weeks to go until my anomoly scan, feels far too far away. Seeing MW next week though and really hoping she'll try to listen for heartbeat (mainly to stop my constant paranoia setting in again!)... Otherwise all is same here.

Diddygirl, good news they are doing tests :) Nice to know there is something they will do that you can sort of set your sights on. Hope you're okay, lots of hugs xx

BDB lots of hugs to you too, know that feeling. Are there any nice treats you can have when your AF comes or are you a little bit beyond that?

Just been reading all of your threads and you have given me hope. After suffering such terrible losses and now being pregnant again I can understand your mixed emotions of joy and worry.

I have had 2 lost pregnancies and am having difficulty conceiving again. Hearing that it is possible gives me some peace of mind. Thanks for sharing your stories and all the best.

Hi MrsS - really sorry to hear about your losses. Mumsnet has helped me a lot over the years, really nice to find people who have had / are having similar experiences. I hope you are finding the support you need in the real world as well and good luck with conceiving again xxx

Hi
I'm 9 weeks now and finally feel ready to join the thread. I lost my baby boy when I was 5 months pregnant in March due to a complete placental abruption. I had three major bleeds over the last 3 months before I went into labour.

Every day is frightening. Actually every loo trip is frightening. I know what you mean dcb about feeling like you're betraying your the baby you lost. I wanted to try again straight away because I thought if I waited the fear would set in and I'd never be pregnant. My husband wanted to wait a while but both of us want to be parents so much we just went for it. It was very difficult though. We both felt so guilty, like we were trying to wipe him out or replace him. You're not alone feeling as you do.

Giving birth to Archie knowing my body was killing this perfect little baby was horrendous. But I knew when I went into hospital that in all likelihood I was going to lose him this time. But to get right to the end and go through what you did, having to make that decision I don't know how you coped.

Although my husband and I started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding (three weeks), my cycles took five months to get back to where they should be. I've never been regular but I wasn't getting strong positives on my ovulation sticks, and my temps were all over the place. The first month they were steady and I got a strong positive I got pregnant. So I guess, no matter how desperate you are, it's up to your body when it will let you start trying again.

Your DH probably needs more time to get over all the complex feelings he has about what's happened. My DH and I talked/talk a lot about Archie but I know we feel things slightly differently. After all, you carried your baby, you felt your baby move about. My DH only got to feel one kick and then it was all over. It is important to talk but it's not always that easy is it?

Hi, is it ok if I join your thread. I've only just found out that I'm preganant (5 - 6 weeks) and have had an awful year. My son Malachy was stillborn at 30 weeks in June following a difficult pregnancy, I also had a miscarriage at 7 weeks last November (I fell pregnant with Malachy very quickly!).

I recognise a few people from the bereaved parents thread!!!

Hi ladies,I hope you don't mind me joining you.

I have followed this thread from the beginning and have been moved to both happy and sad tears by your stories.

Today I got my 5th BFP, following 4 miscarriages over the last 3 years.
I am sad that I am not thrilled, not because this little bean isn't all I have ever dared hope for, but because I am terrifed that this one will not stick with me either.

This thread feels a safe place to say these things 'out loud', and a place where hope can be found.

Sending best wishes to you all.

Yes, Lunatic, you're a familiar name! Hope you are ok?

Hi Couldthisbeit, I know how you feel. I'm really happy but am scared to get too excited as I know how sadly it can end. I have lots of symptons (which I didn't with the pregnancy I miscarried) but am so nervous. How many weeks are you?