A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

ooo ...... oooo ... ooooo >

hope its a sticky one lunatic - great news xx

Good luck KCoffin - not long now!

Julezboo - hope the next 7 mths go smoothly for you.

Lunatic Yeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhaaaa! Wishing you & bean all the luck & stickiness in the world, got everything crossed for you.

Woolly - well done for staying so strong, such a mixture of emotions to deal with but so pleased that Seren is here safely & doing well.

DS1 is 33 days old, he is absolutely beautiful & our little family is getting along great! DH has gone back to work after paternity leave so it's just me & DS1 - loving it! Hard work at times but just so grateful to have him here, I'm still pinching myself.

Good luck everyone xx

Hi all, thanks for the good luck wishes Down to 13 days to go

Been having bh on and off for days, on monday they were every 20 mins, last night every 10 mins 3 times, then stopped. This morning all over the place.

lunatic congratualtions

So glad this thread is still going - I lurked at the beginning of it when TTC after losing my DS2 last year and then ran away and hid from it after a mc in december.

I am now very tentively joining again after a BFP last week.

Terrified of course - in fact I think I might actually go mad!

Welcome back nancydrew - hoping you've got a super-sticky bean in there & wishing you lots of luck.
Hang onto your sanity - hope you're in for a long ride xx

Are you still hanging in there kcoffin?

Hope you're ok too LF?

Thanks onebaby.

I am going to try and catch up with everyones stories over the coming days but I hope everyone is doing well.

I am in constant knicker checking mode - driving myself mad...do I feel sick (good) do my boobs feel less sore (bad)...this is going to be the longest 9 months of my life.

onebaby yeah im still hanging in, been having few pains every now and then, but then they stop.
nancydrew welcome back and congratulations
I was also a constant knicker checker, I just thought about it as taking each week at a time an then it went pretty fast

Hey all,

Been in hospital on a drip with hyperemesis Was bloody awful. Had a scan on Wed and saw little chick wriggling. I am home now and still feeling not with it. They have put me on cyclazine and B6, I am already taking clexane, progesterone, aspiring and folic acid so slightly concerned about the amount I am putting in!

Julez - poor you - hope you're feeling much better - great that you got to see your little one wriggling away though
I too was on progesterone, folic acid, aspirin & clexane - I also felt like I was rattling but DS1 doesn't seem to be any the worse for it now!

nancydrew if it's any consolation DS1 is now 5 wks old & I'm still a habitual knicker checker! It's so ingrained now I'm not sure it'll ever go away!

Have you still got your legs X'd kcoffin?!

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

Hi all, yes im still here got 8 days till section still geting the constant bh every day though. had them for 5 hours last night thought she was going to come early but then they stopped.

hey girls, still here willing you all on.

take carex

Hey all,

I am in double figures! 10 weeks today. Although I am still sick and still have that dreaded feeling. I am a quarter of the way there. I have my next scan on Monday and being booked in tomorrow.

Hope everyone else is okay xxx

Hey all,

Thanks Lunatic I am 6+4 today - think we have "talked" before under my previous name tinkerbellesmuse....actually I am going to do another namechange as there are some RL people on here who know me and this is supposed to be a secret.....sorry I digress..

Hi, again, me in new incarnation...just a tweak but hoping it makes me a little less "searchable" IYKWIM

Thanks lunatic - hoping all is well with you.

So how should I handle the questions that new mums ask when trying to get to know each other at baby groups?

is this your first? - no my 3rd .... um... leads to an explanantion about Niamh and ladies trying not to look horrified in response.

why were you induced?
was she born on her due date?

All resulting in the above response or should I just give more vague answers until I know I am going to spend more time with them?

Yes it feels wrong not to mention her but I'm aware how upsetting the story can be at first hearing and difficult to respond to (we are so used to our stories having retold them countless times) but still I do .... just wondering if I should.

Woolly - very tricky & I can obviously only say what I think I might do in your position - follow your heart & tell it as it is - if these people don't really want to know then why on earth are they even asking? If they are just asking to 'make conversation' then they might think twice about asking such personal questions & discuss the weather with the next person! I think all of us who have experienced any loss are so much more acutely aware of what you ask people when you meet them & what you wait for them to offer when you know them a little better. But not everyone thinks like us. I agree with Lunatic, their moment of awkwardness pales into insignificance.

Kcoffin - good luck this week - is your c-sec Tues or Weds? Thinking of you.

Julez & Lunatic - hope your scans go well this week.

Good luck all xx

Hi Ladies,
Do you mind if I gate crash? I'm just feeling like I need a bit of support at the mo. I have a DS, aged 2 yrs 9 months. I got pregnant again last year but my 20 week scan showed up a lethal condition, so we decided on a termination which happened at the end of Feb. Everything seemed to have been delivered (placenta etc) but 7 weeks later I was still bleeding and had to go back in for an ERPC. 6 weeks later we tried to conceive again and I got pregnant straight away, but miscarried at 8 weeks. That was 4 weeks ago, the same week as the due date for the first lost pregnancy. After the m/c my main feeling was 'phew, that was easier than losing a baby at 20 weeks' but now it's all hitting me, and I'm feeling terribly sad about it. I really want another baby. We didn't use any contraception this month following the m/c but I'm not pregnant. I met everyone where I live now when I had my first son, now most of them have had their second or are pregnant. I feel like I'm avoiding going places where I might see people as I just find it too painful. I feel time is ticking away. I'm 39 and both my mother and grandmother had early menopauses at about 40.
Sorry, I'm doom and gloom and sorry also that I haven't familiarised myself with where you all are but I'm hoping there are some happy endings amongst you,
Moneli

Hi Moneli - so sorry you are having a really crap time of it. I think it is ok for you to grieve for your m/c. We are an odd bunch here as we have had a variety of heart breaking and traumatic experiences which can skew what we feel.

People who have only had one m/c will feel awful and rightly so, just because you have been through something far more traumatic doesn't take away your right/need to grieve for this misfortune.

I had a dd (now 3.5) then 2 m/cs one at 9.5 weeks and one at 6 (which emotionally was far worse) then a 2nd daughter still born at term for no apparent reason. I now have a 3rd daughter 8 weeks old. I can still imagine scenarios which would be far worse than what I have been through and if I mention this to anyone other than my dh people are quite shocked.

I really hope you get there xxx

Hi Moneli - so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Loss is heartbreaking. Your hormones and emotions will be all over the place, understandable that you are feeling so sad.
I am a happy ending on here - 3 m/c in a row and after 5 long years of trying to conceive my DS1 was born 6 weeks ago.
Don't lose hope & I wish you lots of luck xx

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx