A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Please help,

Some of you already know my history, but for those who don't -
I am 6+1, have been spotting for 10 days and cramping for a week.

Had a scan on Tues (was supposed to be Thursday, but I asked to be seen sooner due to all the bleeding and cramping), which showed a tiny heartbeat and a yolk sac.

The cramps got really bad yesterday, I almost went to A&E. Managed to control them by spending most of the day in a hot bath and co-codamol.

Anyway, so this evening they were awful, I went to bed with 2 hot water bottles, and 2 heat pads applied, plus 2 co-codamol.

Have just woken up, still in pain, and passed something. It does not resemble a baby at all, just a stringy fleshy coloured tissue with some blood mixed in - sorry TMI. A few months back during my period I passed what I think was endometrium - fleshy coloured and really painful. This was similar.

Here is where I need your help:
If it was a miscarriage would it actually look like a fetus? Sorry again to be graphic.
Could it be endometrium and I continue with the pregnancy?

I would very much appreciate anyone's input.

Thanks,
Amy

Oh God, now I've just had a really upset tummy and passed something else. Still not looking like a baby, but looks like a hard grape sized blood clot.

I'm so sad and don't know what to do. DH is asleep, don't want to wake him as he has to work tomorrow.

Please help X

So sorry that you are having such a tough time. I can't answer your questions, but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I really hope things are ok for you. Very best wishes x

Fingerscrossed28 - Please try not to worry. Take yourself along to A&E as this should be checked out. Don't worry about them seeing you again. You need to know.

Thinking of you.

Hi girls,

Sorry I've been quiet, had a rough few days. Bleeding and cramping got so bad, I think they were actually contractions as they were regular coming every 3 minutes.

Thanks for your kind words, unfortunately my little bean didn't make it. MC last night. Had a scan this morning that confirmed it.

Can't stop crying, but also trying to think everything happens for a reason; now there is one more star shining in the sky.

Big hugs and Happy New Year!!
Am hoping 2010 brings us all good things.
Amy X

Hi Fingers - sorry for your sad loss, sometimes life's so hard but like you I believe everything happens for a reason. Wishing you lots of luck in 2010 xx

Hope everyone else is ok xx

FingersCrossed - Really sorry to hear that.

I am sure that 2010 will definitely bring you happiness. Have as good a New Year as possible.

I will look out for your star tonight.

Hi Fingers so sorry to hear your news. Come and vent anytime you need to, we have all been there.

Take care XX

Here's to a better year ahead with healthy babies and healing hearts xx

Oh Amy, I'm so very sorry to hear this devastating news. My thoughts are with you x

As to you all who have had the pain in 2009 of loss and pain- My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time!

2010 - is the year of completion and i do wish for you all in 2010 for your hearts desires and for you to have a full and complete, healthy pregnancies!

Fingerscrossed - Im so very sorry for what you have just had to go through at this time and i hope that you see crossing over into 2010 your new beginning and that you know tomorrow and the day after will get easier to bear! and that your sorrow today will bring you good news in the tomorrows!

so many bright stars that open the sky and bring joy to so many people who are searching and looking! i know your star is shining hold on to your hearts desires and never let it fade!

Hi Lunatic,

We're ok thanks. Niamh's gravestone went up just before xmas and we went to see it on boxing day. It broke my heart to see 3 more names on the stone after Niamh's and another shared grave already started - those poor parents.

I worked the day of Niamh's 6month anniversary DH was busy looking after dd which kept him occupied.

You will never leave Daisy behind, you will carry her in your heart forever. I find that some days it is a heavier load than others.

How have the recent scans gone ladies?

Hello ladies,
I am back in action after my break in Rome. Just what the doctor ordered, a bit of sunshine, a lot of pasta and not very much christmas.

I hope that christmas passed gently for you all. I hope that the start of the new decade will bring us all some happiness after all the difficulties that we have been through.

xxx

Happy New Year gang - hope everyone's doing ok? xx

Mrs - Rome - we are off there for a few days in 4 weeks time - never been before - anywhere you particularly recommend?

Rome ... never been but I bet it beats the cold slushy place I'm in right now!

Anomaly scan on the 18th, already working myself up into a frenzy.

woollyjo is that 20 weeks u are now??!!

iv got my first booking in appointment with mw on thurs morning, anyone know what to expect? starting to feel very real now...be nice to get my 12 week scan out the way so i can make it public and stop making excuses...

Woolly - we#re very excited about our little trip (will hopefully be one of our last ones not being parents!).
Good luck with staying calm until the 18th! x

Has anyone been abroad whilst pg? I guess I need to inform my travel insurance? Do you know if it attracts an extra premium? (We've got worldwide annual travel insurance included with our bank account).

Winjy - the booking in appointment for me lasted about 2 hrs (think it's a bit weary if you've got lots of medical/mc history etc which I have!)- think it was just loads of questions, urine sample, blood tests & that was it as far as I can remember - sure other people will chip in if I've missed anything?

Woolly Ikwym about the anomoly scan. Even though I have had a private one at 18+4 I am still panicking about the big one on the 15th. I've got my first proper meet with consultant on this friday so really hoping to get a provisional date for the section.

Winjy, when's your nuchal scan?

One baby, Have a great time in Rome. We really enjoyed it. Walked for miles. Definitely go and see the Pantheon and Piazza Navona. Also St. Peters Basillica. We did the vatican museums as we had a rainy day, but tbh by the time you have been herded though the rest of the building (we couldn't find any short cuts) we were too knackered to really enjoy the sistine chapel.
I have a couple of good restaurant recommendations for you.
Cheap and cheerful but DELISH pasta at a reasonable price and V central, DA TONINO, Via del Governo Vecchio 18 tel, 06 6877002
Great pizza and again v central: LA FOCACCIA, Via del Pace 11, Tel 06 688 03 312
Good for a posh meal, with the BEST gnocchi I have ever tasted: IL BACARO, Via Degli Spagnoli 27. Tel 06 687 25 54. You will need to book this. It was lovely.
ENJOY!

I am stressing a bit over really silly things. eg, I really need to have a sort out. The cupboards are overflowing and I need to have a clear out so that I can tidy the house and put things away. BUT I really cant bring myself to do it. I feel like I have been here before. Getting the house all lovely for a new baby, only he didn't get to stay here.
I hope you are all doing ok,
rx

Winjy - I'll second that the booking in can take an age, the MW used to come to the house and drink tea but now its all been computerised and I had to go and do it at the maternity unit.

You'll need to know if there has been any serious illness in your family & DPs DVT, heart complaints etc. With my first pg I was asked if I had ever taken drugs so I confessed to some teenage hash smoking and had 'drug user' written on the front of my notes! best only mention what is relevant now!

I found the booking in app made me feel properly pg - well done you!

I'm 18 weeks now and have the scan at 19+. Getting movements for sure now but only really feel them if I am sat still.

will i get a scan date tomorrow too?

what is the nuchal scan?
my midwife cant get to me tomorrow due to the snow but has given me my scan date 26th jan...gutted i have to wait 3 weeks mind but at least its booked and in sight xx

Hi Winjy - a nuchal scan checks for 3 syndromes, one of which is Down's, it measures the nuchal translucency at the back of the baby's neak as well as looking for other indicators (eg the presence of a nasal bone is a good sign). In some parts of the country it is routine and available on the NHS but where I am the NHS only offer it for multiple pgs and do a blood test instead which takes longer and isn't as conclusive.

We didn't have the nuchal for DD1, I was 33 and the risk according to my age was bearable but I did have it with dd2 and this time round as the risk rockets when you get past your mid 30s (I am 37 next month). My risk of carrying a baby with downs according to my age is 1:245 but the scan (and the blood test that accompanies it)has put it down to 1:5467, of course there is always the chance of being the 1 but I just wanted to have some idea. As many mums here will attest to Downs Syndrome is not a terrible thing as long as it isn't accompanied by a life limiting condition, they test for it because they can. There is so much we don't understand about fetal development and pg in general (eg Drs still have no idea what causes a woman to go into labor) we hold on to the things we do know.

Hang in there for your scan, when I was bleeding at 7 weeks I couldn't imagine getting as far as I have. I've come to realise that hard fought for pgs are very long.

Take carex

Hi may I join this thread. I am 10 weeks pg, I have 2 sons and have also had 6 m/c.With this pregancy immediatley after a erpc and no period inbetween. I am very nervous but have made it past the 8 week mark which i dont usually. My last m/c was a missed m/c which was picked up at the 11 week scan. I have had 2 early scans and all was fine with heartbeat seen. I have been getting a few tummy pains since last night, but I am seeing the consultant today so will mention it to her.

Morning all.

Welcome KCoffin.

Have booking in tomorrow. Really nervous as I hate having to explain all that has happened to us. It can feel like you are being judged for continuing to try despite the risks. I am hoping that we shouldn't have any of that tomorrow though as we have a fetal medicine midwife so at least they should have seen similar cases to ours.

We then have bloods on Sunday and a scan on Monday. Fingers crossed we will be fine.

Anyway. Hope you are all well and thinking that 2010 seems to be off to a decent enough start.

Mrs - thanks for the Rome tips - will keep my eyes peeled for the restaurants - have no sense of direction so no idea if we'll manage to find any of them though!!

Welcome KCoffin - hope your tummy pains are just growing pains - I had that a lot at the beginning & have got to 16 weeks now

Winjy - hoping the next few weeks pass quickly for you until your scan.

Woolly - 18 wks now that's great. I laughed out loud at your teenage hash smoking confession! What were you thinking telling them that?!! This pg lark makes you do some hilarious things!

Allstar - busy week for you - hope all goes well.

I'm feeling fine, fretting a bit as I had 5 scans in the first 12 wks then nothing from 12 until 20 wks & I'm only 16 wks now! Got a GPs appointment tomorrow afternoon - should they be able to hear the heartbeat if I ask them, for a bit of reassurance? Would be nice to know things seem to be ok in there!

Hope everyone else is ok too xx