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Original poster

There's a possibilty I might have antenatal depression

178 replies

dizzymare · 26/07/2009 22:40

If I get to see my gp, can anyone tell me what might happen please. Currently 13 weeks with twins, and things haven't been going well.

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 27/07/2009 18:55

Putting it off won't help.

You need to talk to someone and you need to do it asap to start the road to feeling better.

Some GPs will prescribe ADs when you are pregnant but some won't. My old GP wouldn't and signed off DH for 2 weeks to be with me instead as I had no other support.

Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 18:59

At the moment I'm laying here with a wheatbag across my ribs and they bloody hurt. As long as I don't move, I'm alright, which isn't good when I'm needing a wee every half hour

I just hope ds settles alright tonight, I'm selfishly looking forward to a whole night of peace

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lynneevans51 · 27/07/2009 19:05

Hi Dizzymare - I too have been wondering if I have full blown antenatal depression. I am now 16 weeks, was absolutely fine before I found out I was pg, was knocked for six to find out I was pg - although only one in there. I absolutely cannot get excited about it at all, find it quite an intrusion into my already complete family, hate everything that is changing and basically hate hate hate hate everyone and everything. To top all of that of course we have the usual pg hormones of wanting to cry bawl at the drop of a hat and bawl for hours/days/nights without much of a break. During those very bleak hours you feel that everything is just shite, nobody is there for you, nobody is supporting you, nobody gives a shit....

I should say that DH and I were experiencing a high in our relationship, I have 2 wonderful children and recently stopped a very stressful job to be able to stay at home. So - what's not to be happy about?

My mother died in February - bit of a blow, which I absolutely did not grieve for at the time - maybe, just maybe there is something in this bereavement + hormone theory?

In any event, I have not been to GP either and am experiencing some days when everything is fine, well, much better anyway. Not sure I want to go to GP as really don't want to get on ADs, addictive etc - am of the camp that surely I should be made of stronger stuff than that!

So Dizzymare - are you feeling anything like I am - worse, better? Does it help to know that you are not alone...?

littlelamb · 27/07/2009 19:05

You know, I think the thing with antenatal depression is that, even more than normal depression, there is a feeling htat you really shouldn't feel that way, and it prevents you getting help. It really is much, much more common than people realise, and actually a pretty sane reaction to a massive, life-changing event. I've had antenatal depression with both of my pgs, and it took me a lot to ask for help. With dd i was prescribed citalopram but I decided on balance not to take them, as I thought that it was circumstances rather than a chemical thing making me depressed iyswim. With ds, I wasn't offered them, but I was referred to counselling. I never got round to going, the wait was very long, and I had noone to have dd for me even if I wanted to go. Or rather, I thought I couldn't ask people to help. In fact, many people would have been happy to help, I was just too depressed to want to cause them bother and ask. I think midwives should really be making people more aware of antenatal depression. They are so strapped for time when you do actually manage to see them, tat when they ask you how everything is, it's just easier to say 'Oh, fine' rather than '[I'm shit actually, I want to go and sit in the corner and cry'. Make sure you have a GP you are comfortable with. I have had two brilliant ones, both women incidentally, when my GPs themselves are actually male, who made me a double appointment every week to go and talk to them. I'm sure you could organise the same

Deemented · 27/07/2009 19:08

Yunno Dizzy... you're there on you're own tonight, and the TAMBA helplines are open now. P'aps now might be a good time to give them a call?

lynneevans51 · 27/07/2009 19:10

Littlelamb - hear hear. See my previous comment. I had this same thing with my last pg (DC2) but suffered in silence. At the time, I actually thought it was all the fault of my DH and that he was the problem, so unreasonable etc. Now I realise that whilst he could have been better, it was far more the chemical change in my body causing it.

Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 19:36

Ok, am now reduced to tears, I'll call now lynneevans51 thank you, you speak my language.
Now can someone hold my hand please.

OP posts:
Deemented · 27/07/2009 19:39

I'm here, Dizzy. You can do it.

Deep breath, babe.

littlelamb · 27/07/2009 19:40
Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 19:45

Thanks, I got the number now what the fuck to I say? 'Hello I'm dizzymare, I don't want my twins' I don't know what to say,help

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Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 19:46

Thanks, I got the number now what the fuck to I say? 'Hello I'm dizzymare, I don't want my twins' I don't know what to say,help

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littlelamb · 27/07/2009 19:47

'I'm having some difficult feelings' Sounds twee, but they'll help you from there

Deemented · 27/07/2009 19:47

Just tell them the truth. You've found out you were expecting which was a shock in itself, and then you found out it's twins and you're heads in the shed.

Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 19:49

Right, ok, no chance of leaving my head there is there. Here goes, fuck.

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ready2pop · 27/07/2009 19:57

Good luck dizzy - you can do it and you'll feel better for it.

LynneEvans - I felt exactly the same about my DH. I seriously contemplated leaving him and think I probably would have done had I not been too depressed to work out how to do it. Poor man.

Deemented · 27/07/2009 20:06

Thinking of you...

lynneevans51 · 27/07/2009 20:06

Dizzy - we're here... I'm actually curious as to how you get on honey... anyway, perhaps just saying, HEllo, I think I have antenatal depression is a good opener? xx

lynneevans51 · 27/07/2009 20:10

readytopop in DC2 I did try to leave DH. Packed up the car with a holdall, my DS, my DS trike and drove around the corner, with DS screaming about wanting to be with daddy, phoned both of my 2 best friends, only to find neither of them picking up the phone and therefore had nowhere to go! Ended up going back home about 2 hours later because I couldn't stand the screaming of DS any longer

Bloody ridiculous!

Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 20:29

Jesus christ she's so nice, too nice, and now I don't feel like a total freak.

OP posts:
littlelamb · 27/07/2009 20:35

Glad you called dizzy

IdrisTheDragon · 27/07/2009 20:38

Really glad you called

Deemented · 27/07/2009 20:43

You are not a freak.

Would you have felt better if she'd called you out and told you what a bad person yu are?**You're not, btw... just sometimes it's hard to hear people be nice when you feel bad about yourself.

Original poster
dizzymare · 27/07/2009 21:04

Thank you thank you thank you, I've spoken to a very nice lady, although I didn't do much talking to begin with, but I've emptied out iukwim. And she didn't make me feel bad at all, but listened and talked to me about what my options are for getting some real support through this. Firstly being calling my midwife/gp first thing tomorrow and getting seen, which I know you've all been telling me, but maybe I needed to actually hear it rather than read it? I should have just taken a deep breath and done this days ago, it wasn't half as bad as I'd made up in my own mind. I'm crying with relief now

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Deemented · 27/07/2009 21:05

Aww... i'm cying along with you!!! I'm so so glad you've rung them, Maybe tonight you'll get some rested sleep?

littlelamb · 27/07/2009 21:08

Ah, am so glad If you need to speak to someone, do CAT me, I know completely where you're at in your head, and I'm telling you, it will get better and easier

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